9/06/02

SHORT NOTES page two

NOTE FOR DIABETICS like myself. Beware of "sugar free" foods and drinks. Read labels carefully...pass them up if sweetened with ASPERTAME. Many doctors are now advising that aspertame may be worse for you than a judicious use of sugar. I use aspertame free "DIABETISWEET" as a sugar substitute...designed for us. Available in drug stores in the diabetic supplies section...not usually found in grocery stores. Costs about $7.00 per 16 oz. Look for a round blue can. Good for cooking and baking...use measure for measure. Does fine on cereal and coffee.

Overweight and dieting? Step up your exercise program as the weight comes off. The muscles are toned to carry the extra weight...as you lose weight the muscles need more work to keep in shape.

It's now said that more American households have cats as pets than dogs. Us, too. Quantity does not especially mean quality. Ask Bubba Jones.

Speaking of which...in most areas dogs must be on a leash in public. Can roam free in your yard if fenced or otherwise under your control so as to not leave the yard. Cats can roam free...the law recognizes them as uncontrollable. Reminds me of husbands and wives...won't say how.

An unpleasant surprise for the Mt. Baker Lady and I. Will pass it on so you don't get caught in this trap. To qualify for Medicare at age sixty five you have to have worked and paid into Social Security for forty quarters. Other retirement programs won't count for you. Those of you who have made an honorable career out of taking care of the home are out of luck. Another example of how our Federal Govt. takes care of the elderly.

CORRECTION sent in by BUBBA JONES. I earlier reported more households have cats than dogs...not true, say's Bubba. More households still have dogs... but...there are more cats in the country overall. Prolific little beasts...lower morality.

10/15/02

I recently had my sixty eighth birth anniversary... Often called a birthday, but, we only have one of those in a lifetime. Mine was Oct. 7, 1934.

Day before came an E from my daughter, Terri. She who abandoned our home land (Burien, Wa.) to live in (gasp!) Southern California. People move FROM California...not TO it. Deluded Daughter.

Anyway, she sent me a gift certificate for Amazon ,com. Appreciated. Within moments I had spent it on two strap wrenches. Sent her an E of thanks and advising what I had bought. This message came back. "I have no idea what a strap wrench is".

LADIES: You're not supposed to know. It's a man thing. Ask a man what a strap wrench is and he'll divert his gaze... mumble...and head for the sanctity of his shop wherein his strap wrench is hidden amidst the organized clutter. Don't sneak out and peek in the window.. as a highly suspicious creature who is territorial and protective about his shop, he won't go near the hiding place.

You'll find out all he feels you need to know about his strap wrench the next time you have a stuck jar lid to unscrew. It only works on man food. Pickles... mustard...peanut butter and such. Doesn't work on wimp food so don't try to trick the clever little beast.

Next Christmas Eve...2002...the deluded daughter and our normal son-in-law hope to visit. I have a large jar of peanut butter already put away to demonstrate. Will report on the results the next day...stand by.

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Well, the festivities are over and the strap wrench demonstration went well...kinda. Unfortunatly the reserved jar of peanut butter didn't survive until Christmas Eve as it's one of the four main food groups for men. These are: peanut butter, pickles, bread and beer.

Without a jar to demonstrate on I slipped the strap wrench over my hand, tightened it and twisted. For the rest of the evening I demonstrated smiling to hide pain...after everyone left I demonstrated to The Mt. Baker Lady how to tape a thumb and wrist. I have cancelled my plans to demonstrate our new electric can opener. Have a nice new year!

4/24/03

I'll pass this on for what it's worth. My gas motored lawn mower recently had to go to the mower hospital. Nothing serious but problems beyond my screwdriver and hammer ability.

When I got him out I was sternly warned to ONLY use Cheveron/Standard gas....87 octane or higher. Seems all other major gas companies put alcohol and/or methane in their gas mix. Cheveron/Standard does not. The additives are highly harmful to your small gas engines... contributes to burning out and gumming up things that are inside. Ruins the motor. I have no idea what's inside the little beasts...don't want to find out. I'll take the proper precautions. Maybe you should, too...especially in Lynden, Wa.

Owls are the only birds that can see the color blue. You're probably wondering how I know so much. I have this little purple ape on my screen that keeps telling me things. Just a coincidence that I'm a retired postal worker.

You'll need to know this...better write it down. The international telephone dialing code for Antartica is 672. All you need is the local number.

One more from Bonzi then we get back to reality. Richard Nixon isn't the only one Gerald Ford pardoned. He also pardoned Robert E. Lee of treason charges. Posthumeously, I pressume.

5/31/03

Most TV commercials are assinine...an insult to Jr. high school mentality. Aside from any by Vern Fonk (Seattle area), the bottom of the barrel has to be for Tel Net. Woman whines "My service was cut off yesterday. NOW what am I supposed to do?" PAY YOUR BILL! Well, Duh!

ALARMING NEWS! The moon is slipping away from our Earth at the rate of one & one half inches per year. If you plan on sticking around another billion years or so, best be prepared.

And this just in from Pakistan. Pakistan's foriegn ministry officially declared that the country has no weapons of mass destruction and did not believe in any form of them. Except for its nuclear weapons.

Speaking of Arabs (who was?)...the word "mafia" is Arabic. It means a place of refuge. Did you want to know that?

Late but still relevant. From KIRO news last March 11. By official count there are 71 octopuses in Puget Sound. Who cares? The $3,000,000 cost of counting the beasts came out of the taxes the State Of Wash. took away from us while whining they are so broke they had to reduce medical services for the poor and elderly as well as cutting essential police and fire dept. services.

One nice thing about my age is that I no longer have to worry about senility.

A short note from Bonzi: Dolphins sleep with one eye open. O K... So does my wife. So, too, did my first and second wives. Smart ladies, this group. I hope all three of them don't get together at once. I'll have to sleep with BOTH eyes open.