Quotes contributed by members of Famous Quotes and Famous Sayings at The Famous Quotes List.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and 
saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life 
without even considering if there are men on base.
- Dave Barry Quotes

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. 
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. 
People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. 
Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.
- Dave Barry Quotes

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
- Dave Barry Quotes

If you were to open up a baby’s head - and I am not for a moment suggesting 
that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
- Dave Barry Quotes

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race 
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, 
that word would be “meetings.”
- Dave Barry Quotes

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
- Dave Barry Quotes

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog 
will give you a look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! 
I never would’ve thought of that!’
- Dave Barry Quotes