What It Means To Be

by spinner

5

Snape ticked his way up the steps with deliberate speed, and crossed through the open door without knocking.  Encountering a form, he peered carefully around his armload of gaily-wrapped and ribbon-decked booty. 

"I knew it must be you filling the stockings," Draco grinned slyly.

"I'm sure you're mistaken.  I'm merely delivering Hagrid's gifts, and Minerva's, and Albus's, and my own," Severus bluffed, heading over to the tree and depositing the wrapped goodies.  Kneeling down, he busied himself pushing Harry's to one side and Draco's to the other before mixing them all up again.  Draco was waiting.  He carried his stocking over to Snape and stood there, holding it open, waiting expectantly.  Snape stood up, and eyed Draco blandly.  Malfoy's smile did not waver.  Snape reluctantly opened his cloak.  He shoved a huge candy cane down inside Draco's stocking. 

"I knew it," Malfoy cackled happily.  "Thank you!"

"Wait," Severus whispered.  He withdrew another package—Draco suspected it was a book—and maneuvered it side to side before plunging it into the stocking too. 

"I loved the truffles, and the protection amulet was first class if a day late, and the plant is doing very well among Potter's, as you can see.  I should not have wondered who had managed to locate a kingsfoil seed," Draco pointed to the table under the far window.  "I am puzzled by the keys though."

"Keys?" Snape questioned.  "What bloody keys?"

"Master, your secret is safe with me," Draco intoned. 

"Apprentice, I don't mean to mislead you.  This was not my idea.  I am merely taking my turn.  Ahead of time.  Tomorrow is my turn, and I saw you out on the lake with the Volkovi, and I saw Potter hoofing it away from here seconds ago, and I decided it was finally my chance to strike.  I did not know you had returned to your room."

Severus dug around in his cloak and withdrew another small gift, which he put inside Draco's stocking as well.  It was jingling, and he held it carefully so that the jingling might be muffled or confused with those bells already on the stocking.  For good measure, he teased the end of the stocking.  Draco grinned, balled up his stocking and jangled back to his bed to pour the gifts out on his covers. 

"I didn't have a chance this morning while Potter was gone because you were here, moping about.  Potter has been guarding the fireplace since he returned, the wretched brat, except for lunch, and I had to be at lunch because if not, he would suspect me!  You may not open the big one until I leave this room," Snape ordered Draco.  "There will be no boo-hooing, or sentimental sniffling, or what-not.  Do I make myself clear?   I cannot abide such drivel."

"Understood, sir," Malfoy said, giving both presents a good shake before leaving them sitting on his bed.  He sniffed at the candy cane—cinnamon, not mint, just the way he liked them.  "Who left the keys then?"

"I don't know, exactly," Snape answered.   "I quite enjoyed your gift.  Thank you.  Thank you as well for warning me not to open it in mixed company," Severus added with a small bow.  "I do hope Harry will enjoy it too."

"You would have died to have seen the clerk's face.  It was priceless.  I wish I'd had a camera," Draco chuckled. 

"Thank you.  It is sublime.  I look forward to enjoying it to full measure when time and law permit."

Draco watched keenly as Severus moved over to Harry's dangling scarlet stocking by the fireplace.  Snape slid a huge candy cane inside, dug in his cloak, and held up another gift with a shining green bow.  He gazed at it fondly before putting it in the stocking.  A trail of green ribbon peeked out from the brown fur.  Severus stroked the ribbon before tucking it inside. 

"Footsteps," Draco warned excitedly.  Severus very casually glided away from the fireplace and pretended to be admiring the gaudy star Granger had fitted onto the Christmas tree. 

The Tower door banged loudly against the wall as Potter flew inside.  He was crimson red to his neckline.  He dropped his duffle bag on his bed and blundered back and forth in both directions at once.  His red hat was askew, and his eyes were wide with shock.

"Is something amiss?" Snape asked.

"I….umm….aieee," Harry said, rubbing his hand through his hair and adjusting his glasses.  He put his red hat on the trunk, stared at it, tipped it over, patting it softly, and shook his head no.

"Articulate as ever, Potter," Draco laughed.

The Floo burst open with a whoosh of color and sound, and Remus Lupin's head appeared, along with the upper half of his scarred and sliced and healed and rescarred and rehealed naked torso. 

"HARRY!" he exclaimed, embarrassed and red himself.

"Bloody sorry," Harry whimpered, approaching the fireplace as if he expected to be struck. 

"Harry!" Remus exclaimed again.  His undone hair flew around wildly as he gesticulated with both hands over his head. 

"Left your presents on the kitchen table.  Sorry to interrupt.  Pretend I wasn't there."

"Pretend you weren't…..after what you saw?!  Knock!  Would you?!" Lupin exclaimed louder.  "Bloody hell, Harry!"

"Sorry!" Harry shouted back at him.

"Sorry," Lupin dropped his voice and regained some composure.

"Happy Christmas," Harry whispered.   Lupin eyed Draco and Severus.  He covered his bare chest with his crossed arms and tucked his big hands under his fuzzy pits. 

"Not one word," he threatened them with surprisingly-malevolent calm. 

Remus vanished, the Floo went quiet, and Severus and Draco waited for Harry to provide an explanation.  Harry raced back to his bed and sat down, shaking.  He jumped back up off the bed, pacing once more, and Severus, intuitive soul, nearly cracked his long face with a sudden grin.  Harry saw him, and blushed anew.

"What in the world did you interrupt?  Virgin sacrifice on a black altar?" Draco asked, perplexed and burning with curiosity.

"Never mind, Mr. Malfoy," Snape chided.  "We mustn't be rude.  We must curb our curiosity.  Mr. Potter?  Mr. Potter, I cannot help but notice your curious lack of accompaniment," Snape said, diverting Potter's attention from the floor, and the sudden appearance of several Christmas presents under the tree.  At least Potter hadn't noticed that his stocking was bulging once more.  Potter tried out a tiny smile.

"Um."

Draco rushed towards the bathroom, chanting like a five-year-old.

"Fa-la-la-la-la, I told you so."

The bathroom door closed, the Tower door closed as Snape flicked his wand at it, and Harry squared his shoulders, plotting how to explain himself. 

"I'm waiting," Snape intoned.  Harry reached for his duffle bag, and came forward. 

"Happy Christmas," he announced, retrieving an oblong box and letting the duffle sit on the floor at their feet.  He handed the gift to Severus, but then his face fell when he read the name tag.

"To Remy?" Severus read too.

"Oh, heck," Harry gulped.

"Shall I open it?" Severus teased.

"No," Harry whined.  "No….oh, no….." He stared back at the fireplace, pale.

"Why don't I go retrieve my gift and leave this one for Lupin?" Snape suggested with a keenly-hopeful smile.

"No.  I'll go with my eyes closed, and fair warning," Harry gulped again.

Before Potter could reach the hearth, it came alive.  Remus appeared, wrapped in a thin, brown dressing gown.

"Tag mix-up," he declared.  He reached an arm towards Harry and traded him for the same size and shape package.   They were wrapped with matching blue and silver paper and bows. 

"Sorry," Harry said again. 

"It's all right," Lupin soothed.  "You weren't seeing me from my best angle, that's all," he tried to laugh.

"I didn't even know you had tattoos," Harry laughed uncomfortably too.   "See you at Hogwarts for Christmas dinner?"

"Absolutely," Remy beamed.  "I need to wrap your gift yet."

"See both of you here?" Harry ventured.

"Have to see what I can do," Remy blundered unsurely. 

"If you come, Lupin, please do try and adhere to a more formal dress code," Severus said, unable to resist one little prod.  Remus glared at him, then stopped as if surprised.

"Snivs, is that a new nose?"

"No.  Why?"

"Well, oddly enough, it's bigger from this angle," he decided.   Snape touched his face, remembering Mordred's bonk on his proboscis, and glared back as Lupin vanished amid self-satisfied chuckles. 

"Let's try again," Harry said, standing in front of Severus.  "Happy Christmas," he declared, giving him his gift.  "That's half, actually.  Other half's not done yet."

Severus sniffed at the package.

"Do I smell plums and figs and sugar?" he asked.

"Nope," Harry denied. 

"I shall save it for the day proper," Severus decided, caressing the gleaming blue paper and silver bow.  "Anticipating pleasures makes one appreciate them more once they are achieved, don't you agree?"

"When can I pop in and slip these under the tree at Ravensrood?" Harry asked, indicating the duffle bag.

"You need not ask permission.  Come whenever you like."

"I don't want to barge in," Harry shyly whispered.  "Family things, holidays.  I don't wish to intrude."

Potter was in search of permission, it would seem, in spite of all Snape's reassurances that he would always be welcome at Ravensrood and could come and go from the estate as he pleased.  He did own the bloody thing, after all, through the trickery of buying out Snape's mortgages.  Was there no way Severus could make plain to the young man that he was family!?  Perhaps the most direct approach would be the best way to handle the situation.  If the boy was asking for permission, it was all too easy to grant it to him. 

"7 sharp tomorrow morning.  Mordred will be asleep yet, and you can walk your own beasts for a change."

"Will do," Harry agreed with a snappy nod.  "I'll be there on time.  If you have an hour or two to spare tomorrow evening, I am desperate for help with Draco's gift, strictly off the record."

"I shall expect the both you and Mr. Malfoy to visit us at Ravensrood on Christmas Day.  And might I add, your pathetic attempt at avoidance behavior will not continue to work with me," Severus decided, realizing Harry had not yet answered his question about his lack of guards.  It was late enough in the day that Harry's chin fuzz was making a return appearance.  Severus stroked the teensy bristles, half-smiling.

"What?  No, really, I do need your help.  Your advice.  Perhaps to borrow your aura again if I may," Harry continued. 

"Mr. Potter, where are your guards?  Tell me directly."

"Teddy's in the South Pacific.  Owen's at home.  He's minding Brigit while Vixen and Brim clean.  Brigit wants to play horsey.  Guido was in Monte Carlo when I last checked.  He got bumped from his Floo gate and went there to wait for another opening, I guess."

"Why are your guards not here?  With you?  Guarding you, as it were?" Severus demanded in a soft yet firm whisper as he moved closer to Harry.  His fingertips slid up Harry's jaw to his earlobe, teasing, then caressing, then teasing again.  Harry sucked in his bottom lip and closed his eyes.

"Well….I….."

"Tricked them again?"

"No," Harry denied softly.  Severus tugged on his earlobe, not painfully, and slid his fingertips down Potter's jaw, and down his neck to his left shoulder.

"They have gone in various directions, conveniently leaving you to your own devices and assuming the other guards are with you, and you did not bother to correct them of their erroneous assumptions."

"Well," Harry huskily admitted.  "Yes.  That must be how it appears."

"Trickery."

"No."

"Subterfuge," Severus accused.

"No."

"Exceptional cunning."

"You could guard me," Harry offered, eyes opening, shining with lust.

"Rest assured, once I return from alerting the Headmaster, I will not let you out of my sight until one of them returns."

"I could come to Ravensrood tonight."

"I will guard you here.  This is a comfortable settee, as I recall."

"Yes," Harry purred.  "They all needed time off.  Especially Teddy."

"I'm going to get upset with you if you pull this again," Severus warned, closer to Harry, burying his nose in Potter's hair, then in his ear.  "I'll paddle you.  I will."

"I…." Harry hummed. 

"You will be guarded.  You are precious to me.  I will see you protected whether you like it or not."

"I can watch myself for a few hours.  Modesto won't be long.  I survived years without bodyguards."

Severus stared down into Harry's green eyes through his thick glasses, and all Snape had to do was raise one brow to get Potter to smile.

"If you could only know the hours of sleep I've lost, the miles I've traveled, the energy I've expended to give you such a sunny opinion of your meager self-preservation skills," Severus began to mutter.  Harry's smile increased the more Snape said.

"Where would I be without you?" Harry asked rhetorically. 

"The question more to the top of my mind is where will you be with me?" Severus took a chance on the playful words.  Harry, to his surprise, caught on immediately. 

"Sorry, but that is not the right tree," Harry whispered, motioning to the decoration.  "This is not the right settee either," he added, running one hand back against the wood embellishment on top of the cushioned divan.  Severus eased Harry backwards two steps, and put his nose in Harry's ear once more.

"Another time, perhaps?"

"Perhaps," Harry whispered back, testing a small smile. 

"In the meantime, you will stay in this room while I see the Headmaster.  You will not disappear, vanish, apparate, bolt, shimmy, wiggle, run, skip, hop, writhe or wander away.  Is that clear?" Severus warned.

"Perhaps you haven't noticed, but I have, in actuality, been in this room since I returned from London this morning.  Except for taking Remy his gift, I have not left school grounds.  I had lunch with you and everyone else downstairs in the Main Hall, even though what I really wanted was take-away Indian from Mahal in London.   I have been decidedly cautious."

"Yes, and most unlike you.  How long can good behavior hold out?  Have I exhausted my supply of verbs?  Have I forgotten any?"

"I could race?  Scamper?"

"You will do none such."

"Pussyfoot?"

"No."

"Dash?" Harry asked wickedly.

"Not."

"Amble?"

"I'll chain you spread-eagle to the wall if I must."

"Draco might wonder why I'm up there," Harry mused.  "By the way, what is he doing in the bathroom this long?"

"It might be best not to ask."

"Are we alone?"

"Do you think I'd be this close if we weren't?" Severus whispered. 

"That is your hand then?  What a relief," Harry groaned, turning his head to one side.  There was a rustling sound from the direction of the loo, and Harry immediately bolted from Snape's side. 

"Are you clear on what I expect of you?" Severus asked. 

"Someone put prezzies in my stocking!" Harry exclaimed happily. "You?" he asked, hurrying over to the fireplace and the scarlet column.   

Draco finally emerged from the bathroom, but instead of gleeful or smirking, he appeared to have been crying his eyes out.  He was trailing bits of wrapping paper and had a bow stuck on his posterior.  While clutching a small wooden frame to his chest, Draco hurried over to Snape.  He threw an ungainly, undignified, one-armed hug around his professor.

"You were not supposed to open it yet," Severus scolded tenderly.  "None of that now," he soothed.  Malfoy snuffled loudly, and Snape patted him on the back.  Harry watched them, unable to contain his curiosity.  In spite of the killer hold Draco had on the gift, Harry could tell it was a mounted, rectangular object.   Harry decided it was shaped like a picture.   But a picture of what??  Draco stared down at it, his face full of love and hurt.  He teared up to brimming, and sobbed on Severus's shoulder.  Severus glanced down and pulled the bow off of Draco's backside, tossing it onto his school trunk. 

"Merlin, Malfoy," Harry whispered.

"All right then.  Disobey me if you must.  But next time warn me that you're going to sob, and I'll dress in my wash-and-wear cloak," Severus said.  Draco bawled louder.

"Severus, did you hit him with a Lacrimoso spell?" Harry worried.

"Harry, do shut up," Snape replied, pretending exasperation with the both of them.  Potter's grin flickered like candlelight, and he contented himself with unwrapping and sucking on his huge candy cane.  Draco struggled to regain his dignity and dry his red, runny face.

"I do apologize for making such a scene," Draco insisted.

"I should make you rewrap it," Severus scolded, his voice as tender as his face was pretend-sour.  Draco clutched the object even more tightly to his chest.  "I can't trust either of you to do as you're told.  It's rather irritating, if predictable."

"Sorry."

"I'm not sobbing on you.  Why am I in trouble?" Harry demanded. 

"Don't open your presents," Snape ordered.

"I haven't," Harry laughed. 

"I am going to the Headmaster's Office.  I will be there two minutes.  I will come right back.  During that two minutes, Mr. Malfoy, I want you to go over and sit next to Potter, and make sure he doesn't leave this room.  If need be, you will sit on Potter and make sure he doesn't leave this room.  Go get close to the fire, and dry yourself out."

Draco nodded humbly, tucking his chin down and heading towards the fireplace, going past his bed first.   

"While I'm gone, Mr. Potter, you may begin to compose a proper explanation as to your lack of guards," Severus warned him before bustling from the Tower room. 

Draco wandered around by his bed, tucking whatever Severus had given him down into the hidden compartment in his trunk lid.  He came towards the fireplace, passing by his bed.  He was carrying a blue truffle, and he was dragging a large, green silky blanket.  Draco bundled up in the blanket on his own settee, unwrapped his blue truffle, and popped it whole into his mouth.  He stared into the fire and blinked back more tears, ignoring Potter as much as he could.  Not sure what to say, not sure there was anything he should say, Harry kept his mouth shut around his candy cane for a good thirty seconds.  It was a damned struggle to be quiet that long.

" 'Dear Headmaster'," Harry began with a slobbery, uncorking sound.  " 'There appears to have been a scheduling error in reference to my curious lack of shadowy accompaniment.  Tiny scheduling error.  But not to worry!  As Professor Snape is clearly the most shadowy figure in my acquaintance, I should like to nominate him to fill the temporarily-vacant position as my bodyguard'.  No.  No.  That won't do.  Better not use 'fill' or 'position' or 'body'.  He'll think I'm being sexual," Harry whispered the last word. 

The somber spell which had held Draco shattered, and he unleashed polite savagery that startled Harry.

"Potter, in case you aren't aware, you are sucking the color and flavor off five inches of a ten-inch candy cane with the voraciousness of an experienced succubus.  It is not possible for you to be any more sexual than you are at this very moment.  You are clearly very carnally-repressed.  I wouldn't be surprised if we were swarmed by roving fancies.  My advice to you is find the first available, warm-blooded, horizontal, willing person who wants you, and don't hold back."

Shocked at the words, Harry could only do one thing—shock Draco in reply.

"Am I turning you on?" Harry whispered, centering his hypnotic eyes on Draco with deadly accuracy.    

"Only in your most perverted fantasies," Malfoy muttered, startled by the question.

"Sticky, mmm, yummy," Harry swung the candy cane around his bottom lip slowly and teasingly.  "Yes, yes, yes.  You are vaguely horizontal, are you not?  Why don't I come over there and let you taste my candy cane?"

"You try it and I'll kill you," Draco warned.  Harry's playful laughter erupted quick and fast. 

"You've got snot in your eyebrows," Harry offered sweetly, putting his candy cane back in his mouth.  "La-la-la-la-la.  La-la-ha-ha," he added as Draco rubbed at his brows and cringed at the mess he discovered. 

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