FROM THE OLD PHILOSOPHER!
FROM THE OLD PHILOSOPHER!
As I travel around this wide and diverse country of ours I like to read some of the signs that well meaning individuals put up. One of my favorite places are the signs that are in front of churches. Here are just a few that I've enjoyed over the years.
HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING?
WE HAVE SERMONS-COME HEAR ONE!
HOW WILL YOU SPEND ETERNITY-SMOKING OR NON-SMOKING?
DO NOT WAIT FOR THE HEARSE
TO TAKE YOU TO CHURCH
FREE TRIP TO HEAVEN
DETAILS INSIDE
TRY OUR SUNDAYS
THEY'RE BETTER THAN BASKIN-ROBBINS
COME IN AND PRAY TODAY
BEAT THE CHRISTMAS RUSH
WHEN DOWN IN THE MOUTH, REMEMBER JONAH
HE CAME OUT ALRIGHT
SIGN BROKEN.
MESSAGE INSIDE THIS SUNDAY
FIGHT TRUTH DECAY
STUDY THE BIBLE DAILY
DUSTY BIBLES LEAD TO DIRTY LIVES
IT IS UNLIKELY THERE'LL BE A REDUCTION
IN THE WAGES OF SIN.
IF YOU'RE HEADED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION,
GOD ALLOWS U-TURNS.
THIS IS A CH_ _CH. WHAT IS MISSING?
UR
RUNNING LOW ON FAITH?
STOP IN FOR A FILL-UP
(then there are the ones that just didn't come out the way they
were intended.)
DON'T LET WORRY KILL YOU.
LET THE CHURCH HELP.
PASTOR IS ON VACATION.
MASSAGES CAN BE GIVEN TO CHURCH SECRETARY.
AT THE EVENING SERVICE TONIGHT, THE SERMON
WILL BE "WHAT IS HELL"
(COME EARLY AND LISTEN TO CHOIR PRACTICE)
THIS EASTER SUNDAY, MR. VASSILAS WILL COME
FORWARD AND LAY AN EGG ON THE ALTAR.
MEETING OF THE LITTLE MOTHERS CLUB
WILL BE THURSDAY AT 5PM
(Those wishing to become Little Mothers, please see
the minister in his private study.)
THURSDAY NIGHT POTLUCK SUPPER
(Prayer and medication to follow)
THE LOW SELF-ESTEEM SUPPORT GROUP
WILL MEET THURSDAY AT 7PM
(Please use back door)
(A Tithing Campaign Slogan)
"I UPPED MY PLEDGE-UP YOURS"