DILBERTS LAWS OF WORK
A pat on the back is only inches from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous".
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.