Be tough, the world tells us.  Tough is what we need!  It really is! 

So, many (perhaps most) men are pushy, rude, obnoxious, uncaring.  As if caring for your fellow man would show some weakness, some tender underbelly that would cause us to get run over by others.

Where did we ever get the idea that being tough, standing your ground, knowing yourself, and being yourself had to mean not caring for and about others?  Rude is just rude, it's not tough.  Treating others with a lack of respect only lessens all of us, it does not strengthen anyone.

I've learned through my association with some wonderful gentlemen that good manners, and respectful behavior implies a great deal of self confidence that has tremendous power.  I've seen men who have approached hostile situations with such a command of their surroundings that their adversaries are disarmed by the confident approach these men bring to the bargaining table.  Their charisma and charm are so powerful that by the end of negotiations they often walk away with more than they had planned to get, and their challengers have been treated with such respect that they gladly give it away.

But, respectful behavior is not just about power, the power is only an outgrowth.  The real reason to be a gentleman is that this is the way that men should treat other men and women.  Whatever your personal ethical code and beliefs, whatever your religious faith, there is a basis in all moral tableaux for treating others with respect.

In Christianity, Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to love God with all your heart, mind, and soul.  The second commandment, He said, was like the first, that you should love your neighbor as yourself.  The GREATEST commandments.  How simple!  This is a behavior that we should pursue.

By the way, I once read a biblical commentary that held that this second commandment actually had two parts.  The first is to love your neighbor, the second is to love yourself.  What better way to do both than to treat the world around you with the utmost respect.

I do feel compelled at this juncture to point out that Christianity does not have a lock on gentry.  Many of the finest gentlemen who I know are not Christians, and most profess a strong faith in other religions.  But, I refer to Christian beliefs because they are the beliefs  of which I am most familiar.

So, why do this?  Do this because it is how men should treat others.  That is suficient reason.