Just What Is A Gentleman?

Today, when the style is to wear your clothes backwards, get rid of neckties, just do it, get yours before someone else gets it, we wonder just what is a gentleman.  What's more, we wonder what is his place in our society today?

The women's movement, as noble as it was in its beginnings, has provided a reasonable amount of confusion to men today.  How should a man act toward women?  Is it right to hold the door for a woman?  Is it right to pull out a chair for a woman with whom you're sharing lunch?  What if she's a business associate?

The women's movement has a saying about men, that we just "don't get it."  They're right.  And some of my friends would tell me that I get it less than other men.

But, as near as I can determine, I have never offended a woman by opening a door, or pulling out a chair, or rising when she enters the room, provided that I am doing it to honor her, not to patronize her. 

By the way, it's a thin line between honoring and patronizing, at least to a man's perception.  But we had best find that line, because women can smell the difference a mile away.  The line is defined by our attitude.

And attitude is the key.  Being a gentleman is not just a matter of behavior towards women, it's about a man's behavior towards all others, men and women (a gentleman holds the door for other men, when it is appropriate.) 

A gentleman's attitude is that everyone he meets should be treated with honor and respect.  That would include everyone from the highest station in life, to the lowest.  You cannot be a gentleman if you would never say a respectful "Sir" to the busboy in a restaurant. 

So, the answer to our question, Just What Is A Gentleman?  A gentleman is one who treats everyone he meets with honor and respect, and at the same time, puts them at ease.  A gentleman is always pleasant to be around, except on the occasions when he is justifiably angered.  Even then, his behavior is appropriate to the circumstance.

Although we will mention some rules of thumb in our section titled "Some Thoughts," gentry is not a matter of following a specific set of rules, it is a matter of demeanor, thoughtfulness, caring, and attitude.  The man who wants to be a gentleman, is already becoming a gentleman.