As I begin to write this page, I struggle with where to begin.  This is an immense subject, and so difficult to cover.  But we must start somewhere, so let's start with our basic premise, again.

A gentleman wants those around him to feel comfortable and honored.  He shows them respect, realizing that each person with whom he comes into contact lives with the same internal belief that he or she has, or should have, worth to the world.  A person's feelings about their self worth is clearly communicated by his or her actions and behavior.  So, a gentleman should behave to indicate his high self worth, and should balance that self worth carefully with a recognition that his own worth is diminished if he is not promoting the self worth of those around him.  In other words, he is valuable, but humble.  He is never at a station in life where helping others, complementing others, valuing others is beneath him.

None of us is promoted by diminishing others.  There are, indeed, those who feel better about themselves when they are pointing out other peoples shortcomings, but these are shallow men who are struggling to be men when they are still emotionally children.  You cannot go through life fulfilled by still trying to live as the bully on the playground.  The playground is so much bigger, and has lots more to offer to the man who is willing to pursue the higher way.

So, the gentleman treats others with respect.  He speaks in quiet but confident tones, never yelling except in a necessity.  He moves deliberately, not hurried, and not slothfully, but with purpose.  He carefully selects the words that he uses, and never uses obscenity in public, or before someone who might find it offensive.

A gentleman never blows his nose in public, or any other act that would seem offensive or distasteful.  He stands erect, with good posture, and looks people in the eye when he meets them, or addresses them.  He speaks in clear tones, never mumbling.  He uses proper English, avoiding slang, buzz words and colloquialisms.  

He never speaks ill of others, always trying to find something to compliment, or to build up.  If he is asked for a reference on another, and has reservations about offering a positive recommendation, he finds a gentle and kind way of telling his correspondent that his recommendation would be less than positive.  

A gentleman never speaks of a lady's appearance, except to compliment her directly.  He certainly never speaks of a lady in sexual terms.  When in the presence of ladies, he maintains good eye contact when speaking to any man or woman, and never ever admires a woman's breasts in an obvious fashion.  Now, all heterosexual men know that this is a challenge, particularly when a lady is displaying an attractive décolletage.  Never the less, he must resist the urge, or be labeled by her as an ogler.  I'm not quite sure what the logic here is.  Why would they show it and want us to not look.  I believe it is that they want us to look, but discreetly.

I think the general summary of a gentleman's behavior is summed up in the Gentleman's Code, elsewhere on this website.  Please feel free to submit to me any observations that you have regarding these comments to me at parlangua@worldnet.att.net