Linux and the Internet: It Won’t Work (wirelessly at least)

Numerous Linux books and magazines chirpily insist — usually with mindless burbling about Linux’s internetish background — it’s so EZ to get your Linux box a-browsin’ and a-emailin’! ... I just looked in my “Visual Quickpro Guide” for Red Hat Linux 9, © 2004, and it’s not so chirpy, I guess, but it still offers a few copiously screen-shotted pages on “Configuring A Modem” with nary a word addressing the strong likelihood that it won’t work — as they and all the Linux experts know perfectly well — since

1. You’ll probably be doing it on a Windows box.
   
2. Almost all the modems in such computers are “Winmodems”.
   
3. Winmodems work by trading hardware for software — specifically Windows software.
   
4. And there is almost never a Linux version of the required software for the thriving .01% Linux share of the desktop market.

Occasionally, I see a Linux “help column” where they reveal, as if in amazement, this tiny drawback....

Anyway, who wants a dial-up modem? We want our hot new big pipe wireless cable connection — and if you are a Linux wizard, maybe it is real EZ. But I’m not.

The Wireless == Big Pipe

Wandering these pages, I realize I’ve failed perhaps to specify noisily-enough that I — and most everybody else who has home “big pipe” service here in the USA — connect to our big pipe through a wireless router, typically supplied by the big pipe company. And Linux, so far, is very poor at connecting to these wireless routers through wireless gadgets — USB wireless gadgets, laptop built-in wireless, and probably installable-card wireless, although in that case you might be able to scour the web to locate a wireless PCI card that Linux might like.

The point is, I’ve never tried connecting a Linux machine directly to an ethernet port on my big pipe router, and it’s possible that’d work great, although I don’t know. ... I haven’t tried because (1.) the router is downstairs and I’m in the Computer Attic, and (2.) mine and most PCs only have a single ethernet port, which I devote to my ridiculous attic LAN and wish to continue doing-so.

Using a proxy is one way of bridging this gap in my case. Another way, as I discovered after researching my sadly obvious ignorance, would be to connect an ethernet cable from one of my numerous switches to the big pipe router, thus making the internet available to whatever’s connected to the my switch i.e. everything. ... So I’ve read. ... I might even try it someday, but it’s still a long ethernet cable. Indeed, as a historical note, we first went through the agony of getting a wireless adapter for the LOL’s Windows laptop when I brought home a 100’ ethernet cable to make this fabled attic connection! ... It somehow inspired her to demonstrate big pipe wireless feasibility, which of course was relatively new and glistening in those distant days; I believe we had to buy our own wireless router. ... And the 100’ cable’s still in the closet....

And speaking of laptops, these giant cable schemes still wouldn’t solve the crucial laptop wireless motel problem: many places in our travels still have ethernet cables dangling around — and many don’t — but in any case, it’s the wireless that actually works these days. ... Anyway, it’s not just as simple as connecting the FIOS router to one of my switches; there’d then be some kind of mumbo-jumbo necessary to get the machines to figure-out where they would have to go for the internet. ... And I’ve always been short on mumbo-jumbo....

Below I discuss the probable genesis of Linux’s pitiful disabilities; but the bottom-line is that a machine without wireless connectivity won’t get on a big pipe without significant additional trouble/complexity and sadly, the Linux operating system does not have this connectivity in almost all my experiences. It probably will within the next year or so (June 2009) — although I wouldn’t hold my breath.

... So,

How I Connected My Linux Box to my Cable Modem — at last!

1. I downloaded a free Windows “proxy server” aka “connection sharing software”.

2. I ran the proxy server on a Windows XP machine, which was in turn connected to my cable modem and the internet through a wireless device (there is on the web helpful advice on how you can connect this or that wireless gadget directly to your Linux box, with pages and pages of instructions which sometimes include recompiling the kernel; + see below).

3. The Linux box was already connected to the Windows machine via my homemade ethernet network, which uses fixed TCP/IP addresses.

4. In Linux, I configured the browser to use a proxy with the address of the XP machine (“10.1.1.2” for instance) + the port specified by the proxy server (with Mozilla, this is @ edit / preferences / advanced / proxies, check “Manual Proxy Configuration” and fill-in the fields appropriately; other browsers might have this same option in something called “connection” and/or “advanced”).

5. This, to my amazement, actually worked! Of course you have to have two computers + an ethernet + a Windows proxy, and you have to use the big pipe connection on the Windows machine — all of which doesn’t fit in with the caring feeling Linux community fictional propaganda. ... Getting your email going is left as an exercise for someone who knows something. ... Hint: you can’t ... I use web email anyway....

Obiter Dictum

Over the years I have spent many entertaining and puzzling hours getting the friendly free operating system onto the internet with an old Sportster 33.6 external modem which would, from time to time, deign to talk — but Linux, even more than Windows, seems to demand a big pipe, particularly in these latter days when store distributions are fading away and the only choice is to download enormous things from the internet. ... Which, of course, up to now I’ve done with a Windows machine, and just copied the giant file, either from a mounted w98 partition, or via an SMB-mounted XP machine — but it’s really more fun (?) to do it directly inside Linux....

Latter Days: I and Probably You Can’t Connect

Around 4/06 I installed something called “slick suse”, and for two or 3 hours, a USB wireless gadget connected to my big pipe (or somebody’s). ... I could download stuff to the machine using the fabulous “yast/apt-get” ballyhooed in so many Linux magazines as the EZ autoupdate mechanism! ... But at some point, I foolishly logged-out, and thenceforth the thing never worked again no matter what I did.

So I installed the official Suse 10, of which the “slick suse” was a pale distorted reflection — downloading the ISO images from the internet — in Windows, of course — and burning them to CDRs — in Windows, etc. ... You understand, a nice pile of installation CDs is an effective — if not as up-to-the-minute — alternative to the Suse apt-get updater + the internet....

But with the wireless, Suse 10 was still and mute; and continues so.

... And naturally yast/apt-get still won’t talk to the internet through my windows proxy. ... See, the intelligent Linux Mozilla Firefox — who has its own proxy settings — says

GET http://packman.rsync.zmi.at/suse/10.0/repodata/repomd.xml HTTP/1.1
Host: packman.rsync.zmi.at

and happily displays repomd.xml without complaint. But the wretched apt-get, whose proxy setting is configured Suse-wide, says

GET http://packman.rsync.zmi.at/suse/10.0/repodata/repomd.xml HTTP/1.1
Proxy-Authorization: Basic Og==
Host: packman.rsync.zmi.at

That is, even ’though I have specifically not configured a proxy user and password — both are blank, empty, nada — apt-get, or whoever is babbling on its behalf, attempts to sign-in anyway and, of course, the transaction eventually fails with a “407 - Proxy authentication required” error. ... (This fascinating info obtained with the marvelous open-source Wireshark.)

I mean heck, even the KDE Konqueror File/Internet Browser worked in Suse 10 with FreeProxy! It didn’t a year or so ago. ... Konqueror also has its own proxy configuration; perhaps there’s a trend here, or who knows....

Big Thoughts

Much of what is strange and broken in Linux land might be traced to subsidized Big Network connections. ... The budding Linuxoid never has to figure-out how to get these things; they’re there already, magically provided by the selfless not-for-profit University or (hiss boo) Giant Corporation. ... And, naturally, these kind of connections work with apt-get — because that’s where apt-get was born! ... Those of us whose computers dwell in private halls, on the other hand, have to scrape by with things like Windows proxies; otherwise known as “internet connection sharing” and which, probably, will never work with apt-get.

And, yes, I tried providing a special proxy user and password just for Suse (“stupid” “stupid” of course) but no go. ... Which demonstrates some sort of other general rule, although I’m not exactly sure what: something like no password will ever work as described or even imagined. Of course that kind of thing applies to so much of computerdom it’s hardly meaningful....

And You Still Can’t Connect 2007

So just now Thursday, March 29, 2007 3:20 pm I tried rebooting my Suse 10, realizing I’d never tried to see if it would notice a different usb wireless I had installed on the crate. ... It didn’t. ... Of course Windows XP on the same machine works with the thing fine, after installing the software. ... From this, I derive another general rule: I and probably you can’t connect to the internet in Linux through a wireless gadget. ... Linux gurus, maybe (although I wonder); but no peasants need apply. ... Another way to put this is, the Linux propagandists (magazines etc.) are still lying.

... So I googled for “Linux DWL-G120” — fill in your gadget — and there was a fellow with an elaborate procedure for getting the thing working with Ubuntu. This involved “ndiswrapper” which apparently is magic dust for making some windows wireless drivers work with Linux and indeed at http:// ndiswrapper.sourceforge.net/ mediawiki/ index.php/ List there were a few discursive entries for DWL-G120. ... At another google hit, another pilgrim asked for succor on a Suse 10 forum but none was offered. ... So I then felt I was obliged to give the popular desktop alternative yet another chance, and proceeded to

1. Install “ndiswrapper” from my Suse 10 CDs.

2. Go to the installation section on the ndiswrapper site above and follow the mumbo-jumbo instructions without fear or favor.

After toiling away it all appeared to work except of course it didn’t, as per this message from the helpful afrit “dmesg”

— I’m pretty sure in English that’s “no dice” — + no connection. ... And that, Linux fans, is pretty much what I mean by “doesn’t work”. ... I particularly like that “taint” flag. ... If you, on the other hand, are inspired by this sort of thing to look for newer / better / different software / ndiswrapper / whatever — feel free! ... Linux could be the desktop of your dreams! ... But I don’t think for the rest of us.....

(Another) Final Indictment

And then on the “MP3s and networking” page of the 8/07 Linux Format magazine’s “Hardware Guide 2007” there was a single wireless entry: a PCMCIA notebook card. ... No USB wireless, even ’though the woods and my computer attic are filled with them! ... As for the notebook card, they feebly suggested it could be useful with “older” laptops, since they conceded newer units all come with wireless — but I suspect the card was really included because those new laptops’ wireless gadgets don’t work with Linux. ... QED. ... Actually, the Mac apparently has the same problem, at least judging by complaints in at least one mac magazine; the crummy USB wireless gadget don’t have MAC drivers. But recent Macs come with wireless built-in which of course works with the Mac software, so one doesn’t need no stinking usb....

Oops, Another Indictment

Linux Journal 12/07 has an article “Getting Wireless the NDISwrapper Way”, where a guy gets his laptop wireless working with a PCMCIA card and a USB wireless adaptor! ... Thus again demonstrating the hopelessness of it all:

• LJ prints an article about an oldish laptop that doesn’t have built-in wireless.

• LJ doesn’t print an article about the vast majority of us who failed to get wireless working, with/without ndiswrapper, laptop/desktop....

... There were definitely a few mumbo-jumbo steps in the article I don’t recall, and you might want to check it out if you can find it; apparently there’s no online repository of old issues you could look at in a few months....

... Still Out to Lunch 7/08

I tried the Linux Format magazine 7/08 DVD which had both Ubuntu 8.04 and Mandriva 2008, and neither could connect thru USB wireless — which, of course, works fine on the machine with XP. ... Both offerings were in “live” versions, at least, so I didn’t have to go through the usual 4¹/₂ hours of installation to find-out the wireless didn’t work, not that I would ever do that again anyway. ... Ubuntu lied about the wireless; it claimed “no network found” when it must’ve known perfectly well it had no idea how to use the wireless hardware at all. ... Mandriva was more honest; if I groveled, it would attempt to fiddle with the ndiswrapper nonsense, and fail, and say so....

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 6:01 pm. Linux Format 9/08, Suse 11.0, “live” version: nothing. I noticed they just assume you’ll connect — presumably to your network DHCP server, and if you don’t have one of those you silly child-like user whiner, what’s a matter with you!?!? ... I mean, the EZ start-up box in the middle of the screen has many helpful links to find-out how everything works, none of which work of course because you don’t have a DHCP server on your system network. ... Actually, these people are stupid....

... At Last! Knoppix 6 Connects 4/30/09

It’s been a long time coming, but apparently my trendnet usb wireless is old-enough so that the Knoppix 6 provided on the Linux Format 4/09 DVD could connect to the internet! ... After about 15 minutes / half-an-hour of fighting to the accompaniment of a dreary north-England fellow droning-on every bit of text my mouse encountered, and the windows shivered, shook, and the entire screen entirely rotated like a cube apparently voluntarily, in an exciting new graphics way. ... The things I had to do were so stupid — I had to click on the network thingey in the taskbar repeatedly, like it couldn’t hear me when I just did it once, so I’d try again and again; maybe that droning voice — that it’s entirely possible one of the previous systems could’ve connected, if only I’d known the magic words and arcane rituals. ... But then again, it’s entirely possible this one will never connect again; Knoppix is “live”, meaning it runs entirely from the DVD drive, and all settings are lost every power cycle. ... But still; at least once, I connected! In Linux! ... The browser is a firefox variant known to its friends as “Iceweasel”....

But not Mepis, PCLinuxOS 6/24/09

They both “saw” the correct SSID and I could enter the WEP key — and neither would actually connect. Don’t know why stars up in the sky etc. ... I mean, it’s doubtless just some “little thing” which the advanced super-friendly helpful OS desktop couldn’t be bothered-with. ... PCLinuxOS had a wireless icon right there when it started-up; Mepis, more realistically, didn’t, and I had to grovel-around in the system menus. But Firefox wouldn’t light-up in either — in both, Firefox was set to “use system proxy” which, apparently, is a Unixish thing, and I tried both set to “no proxy” the way it works in Windows, but no dice. ... I mean, who knows? ... These were both “live” editions (Linux Format 6/09), requiring no harddrive-mutilation, running off the magazine DVD, so we’re allowed to find out minor details like “is the wireless totally useless?” without the normal hour-and-a-half hard-disk install — which is a great advance in Linuxdom! ... And perhaps in a year or so, someone will notice the wireless doesn’t actually work and do something about it; or maybe they won’t. ... But life is short....

Ubuntu versus Mandriva, Linux Format 7/09

And Mandriva scores! I could actually configure the wireless and it worked! It also looked better! ... Ubuntu showed no sign of being able or willing to configure the wireless — and has to be able to do that, to enter the magic code at least! — but Mandriva came through and worked! ... On a random attic machine....

These were the “live” versions (runs off the DVD, doesn’t mutilate your Windows hard drive) available in the 7/09 LXF, and I didn’t try Mandriva twice, so who knows? ... But I did twice Ubuntu twice, and it definitely wasn’t interested, aside from showing-up with a boring 800x600 screen....

— Friday, July 17, 2009 2:30 pm