Title: Silence

Author: Olivia V.

Status: Complete

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Merry and Pippin help Sam go home.

Spoilers: ROTK.

Pairing: Merry/Pippin/Sam, Sam/Frodo

Archive: Please email me at oliviav@att.net and ask first.

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed here belong to J. R. R. Tolkien. They are not mine and I could never do them real justice. I’m just playing with them for a bit.

We sat with you far into the night, staring at the sea as the ship floated away.

You needed a moment to grieve Frodo’s departure, and we knew it. Pippin and I are young, but we’re far from stupid. We knew what Frodo meant to you as well as you did.

But we also knew that this was your way of keeping that promise to never lose him, Sam Gamgee. Gandalf knew it too, which is why he sent for us to make sure you got back home to heal properly.

So we waited, Pippin and I, until well after dark. When it got chilly, Pippin took out one of his sleeping blankets and draped it over your shoulders to keep you warm. I set up a small fire and made a light meal and some tea.

We ate, but you would have none of it. You were too busy vainly trying to keep an eye on your Master. I didn’t think you even heard Frodo when he said he’d left everything to you.

When the last of the light faded to purple, and we were done with our meal, you stood. You folded up Pippin’s blanket and handed it back to him without a word. I looked at Pippin and saw reflected in his eyes the same fear to break this silence before I put out the fire.

After I put out the fire, we gathered up what we could and got the ponies ready, always keeping an eye on you. You hugged yourself tight, but still kept silent.

All was set, and I took your hand in mine as I helped you back on Bill. I took the responsibility of leading Frodo’s pony, Strider down the long grey road.

We rode as long as we were comfortable, but when I saw Pippin begin to shiver and yawn in the darkness I knew it was time to stop for the night. At the next clearing we dismounted off the ponies and got camp ready.

You sat down and did little to help, but we didn’t mind one bit. You were still grieving, but at least you were heading home. And that was a step in the right direction.

We just wished you would say something to break this blanket of silence. It was beginning to strangle us, and then we couldn’t keep our promise to Gandalf, now could we?

Pippin saw to the fire while I got a late night snack ready. I sat by you and offered you some tea and a dry biscuit. It wasn’t much, but Pippin had made them for the trip.

I touched your shoulder and you turned to me, meeting my gaze. I saw the tears welling up in your eyes that had not fallen.

Now I’d seen your strength over the years, Sam. I know exactly how strong you are and how you express yourself in the face of a fight. You will fight off a horde of Orcs alone if you have to, or use a gentle healing hand if necessary to soothe away a friend’s ache or pain. You’re the bravest hobbit I’ve ever known; brave enough to put a Brandybuck or a Took to shame.

But this was the first time I’d ever seen real fear and uncertainty mixed with sadness in your eyes, and it was killing me because I was at a loss of what to do about it.

Pippin came up to us with the blankets again and I looked at him, reflecting the emotions I saw in your eyes with my own. He nodded in the silence and sat on the other side of you. Leaning over, he took the tea and biscuit out of my hands with a shake of his head.

I wondered if Pip knew what he was doing, but his next action answered my question for me. Taking the largest blanket from the pile, he wrapped it around all three of us, tightening it around his hips, and pulled you into his arms.

Perhaps it is because he’s still in his late tweens, or perhaps because he’s the youngest and only son of his family, but somehow Pippin knew food was not what you needed at the moment. Pippin has this sensitivity to others underneath his foolishness that I nearly forgot with all the Ring business, and it often surprises me when I least expect it. I know it’s something I’ve lost in myself these past two years.

Rubbing the small of your back with one hand, he used the other to pull me up against you. I snuggled close with one hand on your arm and the used the other one to tuck under my head.

Pippin broke the silence with a soft cooing sound from deep in the back of his throat, and only then did you begin sobbing. My heart broke for your loss then Sam, and I let a tear fall down my cheek.

I don’t know how long we sat there shaking in the darkness, but the next thing I know I felt was Pippin’s thumb brushing my cheek.

“Shh…” He nodded in your direction and I mustered up courage I did not know I had. I kissed your temple softy and pulled you tighter to me. I felt your breath against my neck and shivered.

Pippin didn’t have to say it out loud to remind me that we weren’t there to grieve for Frodo’s loss. We were there to help you with yours.

I tilted your face to mine and kissed your eyelids, wiping as many of the tears away as I could with my lips. It may have helped or it may have been exhaustion, but you choked back a sob. Pippin went back to his cooing sound and rubbed the back of your neck with his palm. He gave me the faintest of smiles in encouragement.

Hesitating, I looked in your eyes one more time. The emotions that scared me moments ago were still there. So I lowered my mouth to yours and kissed you, hoping that would take the pain away.

You gasped. The first sound you made after Frodo left was just a tiny gasp, but the sound filled the air like thunder. To my shock you laid your hand on my hip and let me kiss you.

This wasn’t how I wanted our first kiss to be, Sam. Not that I’ve thought of kissing you often, I really haven’t. Even when I had a crush on you, you were always Frodo’s or Rosie’s. But I suppose this was how that kiss was meant to be. I peeked up, not pulling away from you, at Pippin. He gave me another nod, and I opened my mouth.

You took my invitation and explored my mouth with your tongue. It was my turn to gasp. I felt a hand slide between us and start working on the buttons of your shirt, followed by mine. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Pippin lean up just enough to nibble on your ear.

The image leaves me aroused every time I think about it. I broke the kiss and pulled back to help Pippin slide the shirt free. I know you don’t believe it Sam, but you are one handsome hobbit.

Pippin caressed your back with his hands and you turned to look at him, a little confused. Pippin kissed you before you said anything, slowly. Breaking the kiss he softly whispered, “Shh…”

You blinked and nodded, but you were still shaking. You turned back to me and met my eyes with the same confusion. I nodded too and kissed you again.

This time, the kiss was a little more urgent, a bit needier. Pippin’s hands were at our breeches this time, unfastening them and tugging at them as best he could without disturbing the kiss.

As soon as our breeches were pulled down, Pippin saw to his own clothes. You watched while I nuzzled your neck. You had stopped crying, but I knew you were still numb, still grieving.

It’s the only explanation I can offer as to why you let us touch you like this. And it’s probably the only one I’ll believe.

Pippin laid down at your side again and played with your hair for a while, making soft comforting sounds with his voice that helped both of us. His hands lightly stroked over our skin, encouraging anything we felt comfortable with doing.

I loved Pippin then, more than I ever thought I could have, more than I do now, and that’s saying a lot.

Slowly and gently his hands moved down your chest and stomach as I held you from behind. The moment his fingers closed around your shaft, I knew it. I could feel you tense from the feeling. I very nearly wished it was me Pippin touched like that, but it wasn’t about me at that moment.

We had our promise to keep to Gandalf.

I watched as Pippin leaned down and raked your nipple with his tongue, setting up a rhythm with his hand that you needed so badly. You rocked your rump back against me, one hand clutching my hip, digging your nails into the skin and leaving moon shaped marks that bled. I still bear small scars to this day.

I don’t mind them at all, Sam. You needed what we did like you needed to breathe.

Pippin looked up at me as I gazed over your shoulder. The look was so intense I started to rock back from his look as much as your movements and my hand slid around to cup the soft flesh under the shaft Pip was touching.

Your breathing hitched and the sounds you made in the night air replaced Pip’s soft mews and coos. Pippin added a twisting motion and moved to the other nipple. You used your own hand on Pippin’s shaft to match the rhythm he set, and Pippin turned red.

I don’t know about you or Pip, Sam, but I know I saw stars then, just in watching the two of you.

I love Pippin, but the look on your face was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Your body went rigid all of a sudden as you came, and you took us along with you. Pippin kissed and soothed your skin with his hands as you slowly came back to us.

I held you as you fell asleep and listened to your breathing for a while. I wanted to make sure you were still with us, Sam. The last thing I remember before I drifted off was Pip’s lips against my own, softly mouthing the words thank you.

We rode into the Shire just before the sun had reached its peak in the sky the next day. We were still not speaking, and when Pippin and I awoke the next morning, you were already dressed.

You had a fire going and you were busy making breakfast. When I sat up you gave me a shy, but genuine smile. I said nothing then, but inwardly I gave a sigh of relief.

I got up, got dressed quickly, and got the horses ready. We ate in silence and mounted our horses.

It wasn’t until we reached the fork in the road, with one way leading to Hobbiton and the road to Crickhollow on the other, that you finally spoke.

“If it wasn’t for Rose, I would have followed him. He told me to go home but I very nearly got on the ship. By Eru, I came so close to trying to swim after him…”

Pippin sighed and put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “We know, Sam. That’s why we promised Frodo we’d see you home, and keep an eye on you for him. He wanted you to be happy.”

You looked at Pippin and I could see tears welling up all over again. I wanted to cradle you, but the moment for that was gone. “Do you think we’ll see him again?”

“Merry and I can’t. But you can… just not yet.” Pippin pulled you into a hug and held on tight. “You’ve got a family to care for, Samwise. And Merry and I will always be here for you.”

“You will?”

I choked a sob back of my own. “Of course we will, you daft hobbit. You’re as much our family as Frodo is.”

Pippin pulled back and helped you back onto Bill.

Before you left us, you paused. “You two will come to Bag End for the Yule celebration. I won’t take no for an answer.”

I nodded. “We’ll be there. Are you sure you don’t want us to accompany you to Hobbiton?”

You shook your head and gave me the bravest smile I’ve ever seen in my life. “I think I want some time alone with Rosie. I have to adjust to the fact that I’m the Master of Bag End now. But… Thank you.”

I felt Pippin’s arm around my shoulder as we watched you ride off, pulling Strider alongside Bill. I turned to Pippin.

“Pippin? Did you really promise Frodo we’d keep an eye on him?”

Pippin shook his head. “No, I was barely able to say goodbye to him myself. But it was what Sam needed to hear, and I’d like to think Frodo would have wanted us to. Besides, it wasn’t a total lie. I think Sam will see him again someday. He deserves to.”

I leaned my forehead against Pippin’s and sniffled. I kissed the tip of his nose. “Come on, Pip. I want to get Crickhollow in order before we go see Sam and Rose.”

-- End --