Title: Preparation

Author: Luzmaria

Fandom: Andromeda

Pairing: None, oddly enough

Status: Draft

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Ask first by e-mail at luzmaria8@att.net

Feedback: Would love it, please.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Just playing with them

Summary: Harper helps Tyr get ready for mating with a member of another pride. Response to one of Marissa’s Ultimate Challenges, this one had to include the following: Harper licking Tyr, A dark bedroom, Sparky Cola, Snuggling, and Harper being petted. I took a nap, woke up thinking about those temporary tattoos you had to lick your skin to get them to apply (you know, the ones that were banned because the ink was toxic), and … well, this is the result.

Spoilers: None

Note: Uh… this isn’t what you were shooting for, was it Marissa? Oh, and any reference that even sound remotely like Dylan bashing are unintentional.

The bedroom was prepared and the lights were lowered to twenty percent, as they requested.

Harper licked at the back of Tyr’s shoulder just before he applied the decorative film to it. Tyr growled under his breath.

“This is so embarrassing,” he said.

Harper shrugged. “Yeah, I know that. But your only choices were Dylan and me. And Dylan refused.”

“Lovely.” Tyr rolled his eyes as he tried to keep perfectly still while Harper worked.

“Are you sure there is no way the Andromeda can synthesize the saliva necessary in order for this to stick?”

“Nope, Samaria said the women in her pride check for fresh DNA traces in the decorations just before breeding.”

Harper stopped and looked at Tyr. “Won’t they need a sample for that?”

“Trance already provided one from your medical records,” Tyr said without blinking.

“I just don’t see why you have to go through all this to get laid.”

“Tigris Pride has strict rules about mate preparation, according to Samaria. You have to be prepared and accompanied by a member of your own pride for a period of three hours. In the absence of a surviving pride member of your immediate family, you can use a close friend or distant relative so long as the person who does the preparation is male. Despite a clause allowing a male of any species to step in should a suitor without a pride be chosen, that still left me with a choice of only two men I trust, one of which you already told me refused to take part.”

“I think Dylan was just a bit too prudish to lick you, if you ask me.” Harper moved over to Tyr’s right arm and licked at it for a moment. Spreading the spit a bit before applying the last film, he sighed. “There, all done. Can I go now?”

“No. Now you have to wait with me while the markings on the film stick. And then you have to remove the film for me.”

Harper looked around the darkened quarters prepared as per Tigris breeding rules and regulations. Other than the pillows on the bed and the chair Tyr was sitting in, the room was bare. “How long did Samaria say this was going to take to dry?”

“Thirty minutes. Samaria left a can of Sparky by the door for you when you got done.”

Harper strode over to the door and grabbed the can, flipping the cap and taking a long sip. “Remind me to thank her. How come she didn’t leave you anything?”

“I’m required to go through a ritual fast for one solar day. Harper, grab a pillow and sit down next to me. You don’t have to stand for this part of it.”

Harper grabbed a darkened pillow and tossed it on the floor next to Tyr’s chair. Sitting down with his legs crossed he took another sip and leaned his head back against the armrest, closing his eyes.

When Harper opened them again, he felt Tyr’s hand petting his hair. “It’s time to remove the film.”

Harper stood up and started to peel back the film on Tyr’s arms, back and shoulders, leaving many decorations of animals that, while important to Tigris pride myth and folklore, were all extinct. Even the Tiger for which the pride was named. When he was done peeling back the last of the film, Harper stood back and admired his work.

“You look so pretty, I wish I had a full length mirror so you could see yourself.”

“Shut up, Harper. No, don’t shut up. Go get Samaria. I’m ready.”

“Sure thing, big guy. I’m on my way.” Harper had opened the door, letting light into the room for the first time in nearly a day. He could feel Tyr’s eyes squint at the sudden brightness entering the room. He turned around to look at his friend one more time before going to get his new wife for him.

As he closed the door behind him, heard Tyr mutter, “Remember what you have to do next.”


------------------------------------------

Samaria smoothed her red hair back, before she crossed her arms and flexed her bonespurs at Harper. “I already told you, I’m not going in there.”

“What do you mean, you’re not going in there? He did everything that you asked him and he complied with every mating rule your pride has.”

“How in this universe could you possibly expect me to accept a mate who chose to have a kludge prepare him?” Samaria’s face was red and looked livid.

“Now wait one minute. You mean to tell me that, despite the fact that your mating rules say he can choose a friend of any species to stand in for a pride member , he can’t mate with you because I’m unmodified?”

Samaria flexed her bonespurs again. “That is exactly what I’m saying.”

Harper slammed down his Sparky can and shoved Samaria against the wall with a force she didn’t realize he had. “How you listen to me. My friend loves you and was willing to go along with everything you asked of him to become your mate. Maybe you don’t like me because I’m a kludge, but if you think you’re going to reject him now because he associates with me, after all he’s done, then so help me I will throw your ass out of the nearest airlock rather than let you anywhere near him again.”

Samaria’s green eyes flared for a moment before softening. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Wanna find out?” Harper sneered at her.

Very slowly Samaria smiled. Only then did Harper relax his grip.

“That, Mr. Harper, is one of the most impressive defenses I have ever seen a non Nietzschean give at the end of a preparation. Tyr should be proud to call you his friend.”

Harper grinned. “Thanks, now can we go? I’m willing to bet he’s getting worried by now.”

As they walked towards the room where Tyr was waiting Samaria said, “I’d like to thank you for everything you’ve done for us.”

“So long as I don’t have to lick Tyr every time you two decide to have a child, it’s been a privilege.”

Samaria laughed. “No, just the first time, little one.”

“Now I know you’re spending too much time with Tyr. You’re picking up his nicknames for me.” Harper stopped at the door and punched in his code. The door slid open and Samaria stepped inside. Sitting on Tyr’s lap she snuggled in, resting her head on his shoulder.

Tyr looked up at Harper as if to give his own thanks, but Harper waved a dismissive hand.

“Just make me an uncle already,” he said as he closed the door with a smile.