After 10 long years, I finally have my daughter back.  I definitely do not have Nancy back in a manner I would have chosen.  However I do have her back.  I have not talked about Nancy for years.  I truly thought she had come back to Maryland.  Several times, my husband, Debbie and Robert thought they saw her near our home, but never near enough to be sure.  It seemed as though Nancy had come back and was staying close so she could keep an eye on us, but had decided, for some reason, not to come home.  That belief hurt very much.  I had no reason to believe Marie Leona (Lee) Lackey had lied when she told Jimmy, Nancy had returned to Maryland in the spring of 1990.  I could not conceive of members of Nancy's family killing her.  However, now I know Nancy did not have a chance to come back to us.  I know in my heart, Nancy was on the other end of the phone during those silent phone calls.  How I wished she had been ready to talk and ask for help!  But she, obviously, was not ready to admit she had not found what she had so hoped to find in Massachusetts.  I still have trouble believing Nancy never had a chance to come home.  But it is very good to once again talk about Nancy and tell my friends, who never knew Nancy, about her.  I once again have 3 children.

Obviously, since I have been the family contact person with the police and the media, and since I have written this web site, I have remembered all the unpleasant parts of Nancy's life.  After finding old social services reports, I have remembered more than I would really like.  I will never forget them again.  However, I would prefer to remember Nancy with much happier memories.  I choose to remember Nancy as a very artistically talented young lady who liked to draw, write letters and write poetry.  I choose to remember the girl who loved unicorns and the color blue.  I choose to remember the young lady who had confidence in her ability to figure out how to do whatever she wanted to do.  I choose to remember the young lady who acted as the "Ann Landers" to her group of friends.  I choose to remember the girl and young lady who cared for and loved animals and could get an animal to do anything for her.  I choose to remember the teenager who had a phone permanently attached to her ear.  I prefer to remember the young lady who could put on a sack and look as though she was walking down a Paris runway.  These are the memories I will keep alive, while I eventually let the painful memories recede into the back of my mind.

The memories which follow are not in chronological order.  Memories do not come that way.  Memories just come when you see something or hear something which triggers them.  So that is the way I have put them down on "paper" - as I thought of them.

I remember all of Nancy's dogs.  I remember taking Nancy to find Samson, a golden retriever.  When we got to the house with the puppies, Nancy picked up one little puppy.  Sam snuggled against her and never made a move to get down.  Nancy never put him down, while she looked at all the other puppies.  After careful looking and thinking, Nancy decided Sam was the puppy for her.  She carried Sam out to the van and continued to hold him until we got home almost 2 hours later.  One day, Nancy asked for another toothbrush.  When I asked why, she said, she needed to brush Sam's teeth before going to bed, just as she brushed her own teeth.  Another day, it suddenly started to rain.  In Colorado, rain came suddenly and hard.  Sam was up on the deck, while Nancy, Bob and I were downstairs.  Debbie or Robert called the dogs into the house, but Sam would not come, since Nancy had not called him.  I opened the patio door to call in Mariko, our chow chow, who would not go up on the deck to get in, since chows do not like to get their feet wet.  From somewhere in the room, Nancy called Sam.  He came running off the deck, around the back yard, straight over the top of Mariko, shoving her head into the mud, and headed straight to Nancy.  Mariko's head came up out of the mud and she bit Sam in the rear end.  Since chows never forget, we could never again keep Sam and Mariko together unattended.

I remember, after moving to Maryland, taking Nancy to the veterinarian's office with me.  While sitting in the waiting room the receptionist and the animal groomer were talking about a litter of 4 puppies someone had brought in to be put down.  They had refused to put the puppies down and needed to find someone to help care for them.  Since the puppies were only a few days old, they needed to be fed every 2 hours.  Nancy looked at me and pleaded to be allowed to take the puppies home.  I told her she would have to have full responsibility for them.  I told her it would be a lot of work - full time work because they were so young.  Nancy promised she would take care of them.  So home they came.  Nancy put up a portable play yard in her bedroom.  She fed the puppies, cleaned the puppies, and rubbed the puppies just as their natural mother would have done.  Nancy even made arrangements to hire me as a baby-sitter when she wanted to go out with her friends.

I remember when a little black cock-a-poo, whom Nancy had named Chicago, died very suddenly, Nancy was just crushed.  Even though we had said no more animals, since the children were in their teens, we knew Nancy needed to have a dog of her own.  So we took a weekend to find a dog for Nancy.  We found Phantom, a brindle colored shih-tzu.  Phantom did not like anyone in the family, except Nancy, and he adored her.  A month or 2 later, Nancy ran away.  Gradually Phantom let me take care of him, but he never let me love him.  Even during thunderstorms, of which Phantom is deathly afraid, he would never let me comfort him.  He would run all around the house in an absolute terror.  That is, he would never let me comfort him until after we were notified of Nancy's death.  Since then, he has let me hold him and calm him.  Somehow Phantom knew there was no more hope.

I remember when we lived in Arizona we raised goats for 4-H.  The whole family really enjoyed interacting and watching these very sweet, affectionate, curious and intelligent animals.  However, when the females became pregnant and gave birth, they had to be milked.  We all tried, but none of us could get milk  Then Nancy sat down and tried.  Like magic, milk came and filled the bucket.  Instantly, Nancy became the family milker.  No one else ever got the knack of milking the goats.

I remember we got the animals by going to animal auctions.  One Saturday, Bob and I went to an auction. Nancy, Debbie and Robert did not want to come that day, so they stayed home.  During the auction, an announcement came over the loudspeaker.  The voice said there was a phone call for Mr. and Mrs. Launt.  This statement scared the living daylights out of me.  All I could think was something dreadful had happened to one of the kids.  I ran to the office to get the call.  Nancy was on the other end of the phone.  She said she was scared Dad would be real angry with her.  I could not think why.  There had been no trouble before we had left the house.  When I asked why, she said there was a cat in her bedroom.  (We already had 6 dogs and 9 cats.  My husband had said no more!)  Nancy said she had seen this cat on the corral post.  When she tried to go near the cat it had run away - straight into the house; then straight into her bedroom.  She had tried to get the cat out of her bedroom, but could not catch it.  Of course, she then closed the door to prevent the cat from getting loose in the rest of the house.  What was she suppose to do?  I thought, oh sure!  When we got home, I questioned Nancy.  She admitted she had picked the cat up off the corral post, brought it into the house and shut it in her bedroom.  She knew how dad felt about getting another animal.  However, she also knew, as we all did, if we never asked dad how long it could stay, it stayed forever. That is why we had so many animals.  The cat was an orange tabby.  She was named Sneakers because Nancy had snuck her into the house.  Sneakers moved to Maryland with us as did all our other cats and dogs.

I remember we moved to Arizona, in the spring of 1985 because Nancy, Debbie and Robert wanted to move before the end of the school year.  They wanted to make friends before the summer vacation began.  They, also, wanted new school clothes, in order to make a good impression in the new school.  Although it was May, I agreed to their wishes for new clothes.  All 3 of them, also, wanted to pick out their own clothes.  Therefore, I gave each child a certain dollar amount they could spend, stressing they had to purchase both underwear as well as outerwear with their money.  Nancy was not a clothes hog.  She liked jeans and tee shirts.  She also turned out to be a real bargain shopper, though I do not know where she learned the art of bargain shopping.  She got all her clothes and had $50 left over.  I told her she could get more clothes.  Nancy said no, she had all the clothes she needed.  Her sister, however, had run out of money before she had all the clothes she needed.  Debbie said that was all right.  She would make do with what she had because that was what she wanted.  Robert, also, had money left over after he got all the clothes he wanted and needed.  Without any suggestions or hints, Nancy suggested she and Robert give their leftover money to Debbie because she did not have enough clothes.  Robert agreed.  Then they both enjoyed helping Debbie buy the rest of her clothes.

I remember, a while before that shopping trip, Robert got some new jeans because he needed them.  No one else needed new clothes, so neither Nancy nor Debbie got any new jeans.  The next thing I knew, Nancy was wearing Robert's new jeans.  She was wearing them before he had a chance to wear them.  After several days of sending her back to change into her own clothes before going to school, I caught her ready to go out the door to school with 2 pairs of jeans on.  She had her jeans on over the top of Robert's jeans.  Nancy was always wearing someone else's clothes.  No matter how much I told her to only wear her own clothes, I frequently found her wearing her sister's, brother's, or friend's clothing.  Finally, I just gave up worry about it.  She was happy; they were happy, so why should I interfere.  When she left home, she was wearing Debbie's shoes.

I remember Nancy was a social butterfly.  She knew more people than anyone I ever knew.  She just naturally made you feel you wanted to know her.  Everyone liked Nancy.  They told her all their deepest secrets as well as all their problems. Nancy always helped other people solve their problems.  From what I could tell, she did a good job, because they always came back with the next problem.  When Nancy was home she was always on the telephone.  I had always laughed at the movie stereotype teenager who was always on the phone.  However, I no longer laugh.  I swear Nancy had a telephone instead of an ear.  She even took the phone and sat in corners, under tables or anywhere else she thought I would not find her talking on the phone.  In a town where what you wear is very important as to how people think of you, Nancy was still well liked just wearing none brand name jeans and tee shirts.  She never wanted to wear anything else.

I remember, while we lived in Colorado, Nancy asked to have a friend spend the night.  That was all right with me. During the evening the 2 girls decided they wanted to make pizza.  I told them they could, just clean up whatever mess they made.  Debbie and Robert joined in.  They were all very industrious.  I heard lots of laughing and giggling from the kitchen.  The next thing I knew, Nancy came into the rec room with a white face.  She said they wanted pepperoni and mushrooms for the pizza.  That sounded great to me, so I said I would take them to the store, which was a 15 minute ride from the house. I went upstairs to leave the house.  When I entered the kitchen, I found 3 more white faced children and a very white kitchen.  Nancy said they had had a flour fight.  I just swallowed hard and said, let's go.  Into the van plowed 4 white faced and white clothed bodies.  We all trooped into the store to get the pepperoni and mushrooms.  Then we got into the checkout line to pay.  Everyone was looking at the ghostlike creatures I had with me.  I was asked why the children were all made up.  I said they were not made up for anything - they were making pizza.  I received the strangest looks.  We paid for our purchases and went home.  I left the kitchen (I could not stand looking at it) and the kids went back to work.  Once again, there was a lot of noise from the kitchen - laughing and giggling.  Finally I was brought some pizza.  It was good.  Finally, Nancy came downstairs to tell me they were tired and were going to bed.  She said she would clean the kitchen in the morning.  I said all right, but did not believe a word she said.  When I got up the next morning, there was not a sign of the pizza making, nor of the flour fight.  I could not believe she had done such a thorough cleaning job.  When Nancy wanted to clean, she cleaned.  But in her bedroom, everything was always on the floor!

I remember Robert was 3 when Nancy came to live with us.  At a very early age, Robert learned to say he was too little, whenever I asked him to do something he did not want to do.  Whenever Nancy heard him say he was too little, she would immediately start doing whatever Robert was suppose to do.  No matter how I tried to tell her to let him do it, so he would learn how, Nancy always stepped in.  I could stand there for many minutes watching Robert do something, but the moment I turned my back, Nancy moved in and took over the task.

I remember all Nancy wanted for her eighth birthday was pierced ears.  She talked about this for months.  She wanted nothing else.  Hence, I said she could get her ears pierced for her birthday.  On the appropriate day, the whole family took Nancy to the mall to an ear piercing store.  She looked at all the ear rings and picked out just the ones she wanted. Then the lady there explained to Nancy, and us, just how her ears would be pierced.  The lady said there would be no pain, just a little sting. I asked Nancy if she was sure this was what she wanted.  Nancy said yes!  So the lady sat her on a high stool right at the entrance to the store.  As the lady came towards Nancy with the piercing tool, Nancy began to cry - a blood curdling cry with a great deal of fear in it!!  I told Nancy she didn't have to go through with the ear piercing.  We could just leave.  Sobbing very heavily and loudly, Nancy said she definitely wanted her ears pierced. The lady started toward her again.  Nancy cried louder and harder. You could hear year's of fear in her cry.  However, Nancy insisted she wanted her ears pierced.  After about 10 minutes of the lady approaching Nancy and then backing off, a large crowd had gathered around!  I felt like crawling into a hole.  The rest of the family backed off so they could become invisible.  I asked Nancy again if she wanted to go through with this.  I reemphasized that she did not have to have her ears pierced!  I stated, it was all right if we just left!  With very loud and violent sobs, Nancy said she WANTED her ears pierced!  So I told the lady to go ahead and just do it.  The lady moved in quickly.   Zap, zap, the ears were pierced.  The new earrings were in place. Immediately Nancy stopped crying, just a little whimpering (since it is impossible to instantly stop from crying that hard), and looked at herself in the mirror.  A big smile came onto her face.  Still whimpering a little, we left the store.  Nancy was just as happy as could be with her new earrings.

I remember Nancy always liked to look nice, but she was a tomboy at heart.  When she was little, she liked to play in mud puddles.  After a particularly rainy period, Nancy was having her usual splashing good time in the largest nearby mud puddle.  The lady across the street spotted her.  The lady immediately told Nancy to stop that and get out of the mud puddle.  The lady told Nancy she was going to get her clothes all dirty and would ruin them.  She told Nancy her mother was going to be real angry with her.  Nancy said her mother would not be angry with her, but the lady insisted Nancy go home before she got into anymore trouble.  Nancy came home and told me what had happened.  She said she was not in trouble.  Then she asked if she was right.  I said she was right.  Nancy went back out, headed straight for the same mud puddle and played in the it until she was very wet and very dirty.  I never knew a child to get dirtier than Nancy.  I never knew a child to have more fun getting so dirty.

I remember when we moved from Arizona to Maryland, we drove cross country in an extended body van.  Nancy and Robert were with me, along with 3 dogs and 6 cats.  Every time I stopped for a traffic light or for gas, Chicago would bark at anyone he saw near his van.  He barked so much, he literally lost his voice.  Nancy felt so badly for him, she started covering his eyes every time we stopped.  She had discovered if he could not see anyone, he did not bark at them.  My road map reader, Debbie, was riding in my mother's car.  When we got near Washington, D.C., it was about 4 PM - rush hour traffic.  I had not driven in city traffic in years nor had I ever been in this area before.  I told Nancy to pick up the road map.  She had never read a road map before.  I gave her a very quick crash course on how to read the map.  Then I told her to direct me where I had to go.  She was scared, but she directed me perfectly to the Wendy's, where we were to meet my husband.

I remember coming home from work one morning when we lived in Colorado.  I worked nights so I could be home with the kids during the day.  On this particular morning, Nancy came running out to the van.  She told me to get out quick and follow her.  She ran into the house and to the back door.  There she stopped.  Nancy told me to look out the window.  She told me to look at the beautiful sunrise.  Then Nancy asked if I had ever seen anything so beautiful.

I remember Nancy was the barefoot kid.  She never had shoes on if she could help it.  Nancy went barefoot in snow, mud, rocky ground, and even where cacti grew.  I do not know how she did it.  She never even got cactus spines in her feet.  But when she sat down in a cactus patch, she had to spend a couple of hours pulling the spines out of her bum.

I remember, when we lived in Colorado, I wanted to have the last third of the basement finished off into a knitting room for myself.  I had to do the work myself because Bob was working out of state, at the time.  I asked the kids if they wanted to help.  The only one interested in helping was Nancy.  She had a ball pulling down old studding.  She could pull out nails and rip down boards, I did not have the strength to do.  After a I hammered a nail wrong so my elbow took the brunt of the blow, I could not hammer anymore.  Nancy moved right in and proved to be very adept at hammering in nails quickly and accurately.  She also helped put up the sheet rock and apply the seaming mud.  We put up a free standing wall, so we created a laundry room as well.  When Nancy and I were all done, she was as proud as punch with what we had accomplished.  For days she went around saying, " Gals did it!  Guys didn't!"  So the next time we went to the mall, I went to the chocolate chip cookie place while Nancy was shopping.  I ordered a super large chocolate chip cookie which had written on it, "Gals did it!  Guys didn't!"  Hers eyes popped out when she saw her cookie.  Every once in awhile, over the years, I would hear her say, "Gals did it!  Guys didn't!"  From then on, whenever I could not find a tool, I knew, more than likely, Nancy had last used it.  Usually, the tool could be found in her bedroom.

I remember, when we were in Colorado, the kids raised guinea pigs for show.  They had a great deal of fun caring for these delightful, beautiful, and friendly creatures.  When Nancy was 10 or 11, we went to a very important guinea pig show.  The kids competed along with the adults.  There were usually the same people at each show along with some new faces.  There was one lady there, who had been to lots of the guinea pig shows.  Her animals usually came in first or second.  At this particular show, this lady's guinea pig received second place.  Immediately she burst into tears.  This lady sobbed and sobbed.  Nancy came over to me to ask why the lady was crying.  I told her, the lady was crying because she received second place instead of first place.  Nancy said that was stupid - winning was not that important.  (This was out of the mouth of the girl who would shake as she waited her turn to take her animal before the judge.)  Nancy said, what was important was trying your best, having fun, learning from the other guinea pig raisers, and enjoying the company of the other people at the show.  Nancy was thoroughly puzzled that an adult would allow a second place standing spoil her fun for the day.  She then went off to explore all the other happenings at the show.  I really do not remember whether Nancy's guinea pigs won any ribbons that day, but I do know Nancy had a wonderful time seeing all the animals, meeting lots of new people and talking with everyone.

These are the things I wish to remember when I think of Nancy.  These memories remind me of the kind of person Nancy was.  She was a loving, caring, artistic, industrious, confident in her ability to help others kind of person.  The world would have been a better place with Nancy as part of it.  I am so glad she is no longer a prisoner in a car wash vacant lot.  Nancy is now free, to be with the unicorns and animals she so loved.