Most weddings tend to be very memorable. In fact,  some of them are reportedly even pleasant memories. However, “memorable” may NOT quite be the most adequate word to describe our wedding. Personally, “SURREAL", seems to come to mind much more readily.  The wedding itself was originally intended to be much earlier. Kerry had been in Austin (at University of Texas) for the previous two years, and Becky was finishing up her Master's in Nacogdoches (at SFASU). We both had thought that she would be finished with the thesis by mid June, and then she would move to Austin and the wedding would soon follow. Thinking this, we had made reservations to go to Cancun in mid August, but that trip was NOT originally intended to be a honeymoon, but just a vacation before our Fall semester started.   However, one thing led to another and the delays began to mount and her thesis work lasted throughout June, and it was soon the end of July. The way things were going, Cancun began to look more and more like a pre-wedding vacation!!!

However, the demi-gods of the lab finally smiled on us, and she finished the thesis work in VERY LATE July/early August. We then decided to set the wedding for Saturday August 8th, and we had a couple of days to get everything arranged (wedding license, blood tests – yes they had those silly blood tests back then, get the minister, etc…..). If memory serves, I think Becky came to Austin the weekend before and we rushed all over town to take care of these annoying details. A “friend” (who shall remain nameless, since he still prefers his knee caps intact) suggested a fellow named “Reverend Wolf", and as it turns out he was the only one able to perform the ceremony on such short notice.   Kerry talked to him on the phone, but never met him face to face until the fateful day. We wanted to keep the wedding very small, simply the witnesses and the two of us, but since Kerry's parents and Becky's mother had never actually met each other we decided to invite them. To keep it small, we didn't invite friends or even family (outside of the parents).   If we had invited family, it would no longer have been small, and as such we would run the risk of letting things get out of hand. (Yea, right!!)   Likewise, if we invited friends and not family it would only increase the pending discord.
 
 

Becky's mother (Jewel Billings), Becky and Kerry.  If you look closely you can see YM (that's "Your Mother") desperately trying to NOT laugh.

Here are Kerry (with a really early 80's suit), Becky, and his father (Eugene Coffman) and mother (Earlene Coffman).  Unlike YM (aka Becky's mother) it is NOT laughing that Kerry's mother is desperately trying to avoid.

Becky got into town several hours before the wedding and the parents arrived a bit before the ceremony. In fact we fixed lunch/dinner for everyone before the ceremony.   I think it was "Italian".  For simplicity, we had the ceremony in our  (it was technically still Kerry's apartment until after the ceremony) apartment.   Which by the way was a VERY nice townhouse style apartment, but alas that is again another tale.

Up to that point, this was probably the ONLY time in Kerry's life that he had actually tried to be serious about anything (and you'll see what that GOT him). Soon there was a knock on the door and there was Reverend Wolf with two very bizarre ladies (one was his sister-in-law and the other was a “backup” witness). One of the ladies never said a word and the other one just kept looking around, and around and around.   I kept expecting her head to make a 360, and then utter some kind of Linda Blair comment!!!   However, I digress.   Let's get back to the door.  There he was: a red bowling ball with a crew cut. He was quite rotund, and he had a BRIGHT red robe, and a hand made white (preacher-style) collar (which I'm pretty  sure was cardboard) , along with a huge gaudy belt buckle made of Indian head nickels!!!   He also had an ever present smile/grin.  In hindsight it reminds me of John Tenniel’s depictions of the Cheshire Cat.
 
 

Reverend Wolf, Kerry and Becky during the ceremony.  There's a confused look of "didn't we just say this five minutes ago" on Kerry's face, and if you listen very carefully you can probably hear his mother whimpering in the background.

Kerry, Reverend Wolf, and Becky AFTER the ceremony

He was quite a character!!! He told us that we would be his 747th couple, and that he had performed ceremonies while parachuting, and white water rafting!!! He kept offering to buy my piano, so he could put it in the back of his pick up truck and could play music and marry folks all from his truck!!! Since it was such a hot day, he also kept suggesting that we all go to the pool and he could perform the ceremony while we were all standing in the pool. While Kerry kept nixing the pool
idea, Becky quickly started lowering ALL of the blinds and curtains so NO ONE from the outside could see what had invaded the apartment. He was SO proud of the fact that he had gotten his certificate/license by mail, but said that he had almost failed the written test, since it was a closed book test!! (... that story only made the whimpering from Kerry's mother grow a bit louder ... of course the story of how when he had been a bartender - before he started performing wedding ceremonies, he once gave a rowdy customer a huge glass of "cabbage juice" (which is a very strong laxative) and then put him in "too long of a cab ride" home, didn't do much to bring a smile back to Kerry's Mom's face.   Of course Kerry's dad thought it was a hysterical story ....) Rev. Wolf had incorporated himself as “Little Court House on Wheels”, and had these neat little red business cards. On one side of the card it told you that he performed weddings, and on the other it told you he was a notary public and could easily “get those hard to obtain titles” for your car!!!

Kerry's father thought he was great!!! He took about a hundred or so business cards from Reverend
Wolf and still passes them out to this day. Becky's mother (aka YM) assumed that the entire thing was a big
practical joke that Kerry had set up on her, and thought that it was not legitimate – but nonetheless
hysterical. Kerry's dad kept elbowing Kerry's mother saying “Earlene, this is great …. let's get
married again.” Becky's mother and Kerry's dad were both on the couch rolling with laughter while
Kerry's mother kept sniffing away tears (at the approaching disaster).

Besides being a jolly soul, Reverend Wolf liked having backups. There had to be at least three sets of vows –
two of which he wrote himself, or at least “borrowed” parts of from somewhere else. Of course the three sets were
somehow mingled and intertwined in a strange topologically bizarre manner. I think we said “I do”, or
at least variations of that three times, but it was hard to follow the incoherent rambling (especially
over the LOUD laughter coming from one end of the couch, and the sobbing and sniffing coming
from the other end of the couch).

Eventually, the good Reverend said that it was over, and then we stuttered a couple of “That's it?” and
soon the refreshments began. Reverend Wolf even volunteered to stay and do the dishes, but we
KNEW that he had a busy schedule, so he was soon on his way, sans our piano!!!

Kerry's mother called EVERY day until the official marriage certificate came back from the state
of Texas (she too didn't think it could possibly be legitimate). Ahhhh, but it was and still is!!!! In
fact as Becky is fond of saying “This better last forever, cuz I'm NEVER going through that
again!!!!”   On our marriage certificate in the space for “Church”, ours says “Little Courthouse on Wheels”!!!     I don't think ANYONE in New Jersey can make THAT claim!!!  We truly are SPECIAL!!   Of course trying to explain what that meant to the Mexican officials  the following week proved to be quite challenging.

Kerry's big regret about the whole thing is that he didn't PLAN it. If he had intended it to
be that way, then THAT would have been REALLY something to behold, but it was fate that took that privilege
away from him.  The only thing that was missing was J-Bob (aka Jim Gilroy) showing up in his bathing suit and Mickey Mouse “diving” mask, but alas that too is a tale for another time.

  Click here to get to the Cancun page

 Back to Coffman home page