HAIKU FOR YOU

Salon Magazine ran a wonderful contest asking people to create haiku error messages. Whether these are meant to make us ponder the deeper implications of our interactions with technology, or whether they are simply designed bring a smile to the user's face when Windows does what it does so well, I will leave up to you, dear reader. Here are the results:

These are the WINNERS:

 
    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes, and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.
    (David Dixon)
 

 
    Everything is gone;
    Your life's work has been destroyed.
    Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
    (David Carlson)
 

Here are the HONORABLE MENTIONS:

 
    I'm sorry, there's -- um --
    insufficient -- what's-it-called?
    The term eludes me ...
    (Owen Mathews )
 

 
    Windows NT crashed.
    I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.
    (Peter Rothman )
 

 
    Seeing my great fault
    Through darkening blue windows
    I begin again
    (Chris Walsh)
 

 
    The code was willing,
    It considered your request,
    But the chips were weak.
    (Barry L. Brumitt)
 

 
    Printer not ready.
    Could be a fatal error.
    Have a pen handy?
    (Pat Davis)
 

 
    A file that big?
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.
    (David J. Liszewski)
 

 
    Errors have occurred.
    We won't tell you where or why.
    Lazy programmers.
    (Charlie Gibbs)
 

 
    Server's poor response
    Not quick enough for browser.
    Timed out, plum blossom.
    (Rik Jespersen)
 

 
    Chaos reigns within.
    Reflect, repent, and reboot.
    Order shall return.
    (Suzie Wagner)
 

 
    Login incorrect.
    Only perfect spellers may
    enter this system.
    (Jason Axley)
 

 
    This site has been moved.
    We'd tell you where, but then we'd
    have to delete you.
    (Charles Matthews)
 

 
    wind catches lily
    scatt'ring petals to the wind:
    segmentation fault
    (Nick Sweeney)
 

 
    ABORTED effort:
    Close all that you have.
    You ask way too much.
    (Mike Hagler)
 

 
    First snow, then silence.
    This thousand dollar screen dies
    so beautifully.
    (Simon Firth)
 

 
    With searching comes loss
    and the presence of absence:
    "My Novel" not found.
    (Howard Korder)
 

 
    The Tao that is seen
    Is not the true Tao, until
    You bring fresh toner.
    (Bill Torcaso)
 

 
    The Web site you seek
    cannot be located but
    endless others exist
    (Joy Rothke)
 

 
    Stay the patient course
    Of little worth is your ire
    The network is down
    (David Ansel)
 

 
    A crash reduces
    your expensive computer
    to a simple stone.
    (James Lopez)
 

 
    There is a chasm
    of carbon and silicon
    the software can't bridge
    (Rahul Sonnad)
 

 
    Yesterday it worked
    Today it is not working
    Windows is like that
    (Margaret Segall)
 

 
    To have no errors
    Would be life without meaning
    No struggle, no joy
    (Brian M. Porter)
 

 
    You step in the stream,
    but the water has moved on.
    This page is not here.
    (Cass Whittington)
 

 
    No keyboard present
    Hit F1 to continue
    Zen engineering?
    (Jim Griffith)
 

 
    Hal, open the file
    Hal, open the damn file, Hal
    open the, please Hal
    (Jennifer Jo Lane)
 

 
    Out of memory.
    We wish to hold the whole sky,
    But we never will.
    (Francis Heaney)
 

 
    Having been erased,
    The document you're seeking
    Must now be retyped.
    (Judy Birmingham)
 

 
    The ten thousand things
    How long do any persist?
    Netscape, too, has gone.
    (Jason Willoughby)
 

 
    Rather than a beep
    Or a rude error message,
    These words: "File not found."
    (Len Dvorkin)
 

 
    Serious error.
    All shortcuts have disappeared.
    Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
    (Ian Hughes)
 

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Graphics are fish_of_gold original creations.