LETTERS TO STRANGERS ... LETTERS TO STRANGERS ... LETTERS TO STRANGERS ... LETTERS TO STRANGERS ... LETTERS TO STRANGERS
... BEING SOME EXCERPTS FROM RAMBLINGS OF THE VARIOUS CHARACTERS WHO LIVE, VISIT, OR WANDER THROUGH RANTZVILLE ...
RANTZVILLE
... FIRST LAW OF RANTZVILLE: IF YOU DO NOT LET IT OUT, YOU WILL EXPLODE ...
OBTUSE
paper covers rock... rock breaks scissors... scissors cuts paper... and phingers too... wow, now that's raving... giving pheasants the phinger with their own pheathers... or maybe I misunderstood (of course, but that's what I do to avoid double negatives, I create some nonsense in my own head to distract myself and that amuses me and I find myself laughing in the middle of the puddle I fell into and I stop worrying about whether I can swim or not and just float on the ground because the puddle wasn't that deep anyway and by then I've forgotten all about the negatives and developed different pictures in my head that are much more plur and happy with or without pheathers... anyway, that's what I do when I pheel someone trying to ruffle my pheathers {then again some people can ruffle my pheathers anytime, but that's a whole other story we'll ignore at the moment cuz I think I'm distracted and confused enough} and it works)... now, what was the subject?... oh yeah, getting along with each other and respecting the birds even in the midst of battle... maybe the next time somebody pheels like sticking a phinger up some birds pheather they will remember they will walk away with a smelly phinger and they can't blame the bird no matter how many people jump on the bird for having pheathers or phat pants or digestive problems after consuming beans or broccoli, even... and this is all I'm going to say on the subject (what subject?)... if I understand half of what we're rambling about half the time, I might understand about a quarter of what I'm hearing... the last thing I want to do is judge (though I continue to wonder how many judges have nothing or very odd garments on under their robes cuz I've found in my wanderings that the loudest judges and proper people who tell others how to be and live are usually the ones with the most confusion and least self-esteem inside and the phinger pointing and blaming others is their way distracting themselves and avoiding their own feelings of inadequacy and other stuff they fear might be hanging from their nose that causes everybody to look at them phunny and not give them the attention they want but the phunny thing is usually nobody is thinking about them or their nose in any negative way anyway until they stomp their feet and blow their nose on whomever is within bugger-shot... and tying a large handkerchief around their heads usually doesn't help because then they accuse the kind person offering the handkerchief of trying to censor their freedom of nose blowing or rape even just because they don't like the color of the handkerchief or maybe it was silk, though actually, gauze would be more effective (not to mention more absorbant) and anyway they are so busy focusing their time and energy and attention on looking to find fault they miss the point and it's just like focusing on typos and grammer is not the way to develop better reading comprehension or communication skills, but that's a horse of a different pheather... so in closing, if you have to sneeze and truly can not cover your nose, have someone wrap a handkerchief around you head and if nobody is around, at least turn your head and try not to sneeze in someone's face... unless you have their permission and it's some sort of sexual turn on or religious ritual and then... ~ excuse me, roommate interruption... the report begins (this is a ritual, bear with us)... he went shopping... list of items purchased... bargains found... problems noticed at the stores... complaints abut people... on and on and on... I suppose being so wrapped up in your own little world makes it ok to notice someone else being engrossed in this diatribe and I'm not doing anything important anyway except maybe trying to save the world or tickle a funny bone or distract myself from the negativity pouring down upon my head every time I stick my head out the window and I wonder if there's much difference between the world out there and the toilet since people seem to shit in both with great regularity as if that's what it's there for, but there's no reason at all I shouldn't stop having this converstation with myself and whomever is listening (is anybody?... roommie sure doesn't) to listen to the minute details of the day at the drop of a hat right?... tap tap tap... it's not like I'm writing a resume or interviewing Sid Vicious and Johnney Rotten about what it's like to be dead and alive for aging punkers after the turn of the millenium... tap tap tap... phinger or phoot tapping doesn't work with those completely immersed in their own minutia so deep that they see no other perspective and judge everything accordingly and then expect everybody to give them all the attention they want the moment they want it or they'll get that attention any way they can even if it's at someone else's expense or worse, pissing in a crowded room, so it's time for dinner cuz the roommie/landlord is ready to eat and how dare I not be hungry or in the mood for the precise delicacies on the rommies platter... wonder how long I'll have to keep rambling on about the price of the stuff purchased and the personal negative judgments of everything and everyone around because that's the perspective chosen in the dark corners of the mind that keeps coming through my doorway without noticing or caring noticed that I'm in the middle of something much more positive than the negativity and I really don't want to stop and maybe I might not want to hear who did what to whom and nobody loved me the way I wanted to be loved and the world's not as I'd have created it and I'm going to call the cops and the FBI and the national guard and get all paranoid cuz just putting those key words in this ramble probably has seventy two computers churning out all sorts of data and reports about my bathroom habits and dietary preferences and political leanings when I don't even have any (political leanings, that is... I have a few dietary preferences and some bathroom habits) and why oh why does it never dawn on those wrapped up in what they want and only what they want that maybe their roommie and everybody else around them might not want exactly what they want so offering it is downright plur and coool but demanding or judging is like the antiplur who really wants to be the Antiplur and anyway, a little respecting of space and person might be they way to make this a better world?... ~ shhhhh, there's silence again in the space except for the I Mother Earth CD playing, which reminds me of living in Toronto and for some reason I won't try to explain at the moment, Portishead and Vitamin C and the occasional burp (excuse me) so when I want to rant, I do it with so much obscurity and make it so impersonal that someone has to have a closet full of paranoia and other demons inside to think I mean them specifically and more often I go to a rant list (and when I couldn't find one I created a few) and I spit it out in babble and most often I send it to no one and everyone via my web pages so the only house I'm dirtying is mine and anybody who wants to go there just has to respect that it's my house and I can shit if I want to... and even if nobody's there it feels great to let the frustrations out (and that's the point cuz I'm not trying to control anybody anyway, just let the negativity they send pass through and let me be me) about the limits and judgments and negativity people dump on me and that way I actually prove they can't stop me from thinking and feeling and being me (and that's the best part that nobody can control me and make me get as negative and dirty as them cuz I don't want to be an antiplur) and putting it out there for anybody who cares to see (why would I want to put it where people who don't care to see anyway?... after all, people who don't care might not rub it the right way and very well could be offended by my whipping it out... I mean my ranting responses to the world, of course, whatcha think?)... so in closing (really?), if you miss white Xmasses, wrap a fine gauze handkerchief around your head and turn on your brightest inner light all the world will be much brighter... it might help if you turn the AC way down or find a large freezer to party in... but remember, snowballs should not have pheathers unless you really mean to hurt someone and I think snowball fights are friendly wars and ice hurts... also, using snow that someone pissed in is really in poor taste... that's my advice, and like everything else, don't take it if it's of no use to you, but don't destroy it cuz someone might want to use it someday... and strive to recycle... and remember, there's always someone else to blame for the way you feel... and it's easy to tell others what they should or should not do... but it's usually better just to express your feelings and try to figure out what you can do to feel better next time... unless, of course, you're running for political office... I would sign this, but I'm not absolutely certain who I am today, no less which of the myriad of literary characters I portray wrote it... but somebody might even understand and want to contact me (on this planet, even), so I'll include my address and hope you find and create more smiles than frowns in your life... ric or anonanonanon or newsbee or childinside or sysquash or somebody email this rantzville resident "we don't see things as they are so much as we are" ~ talmud ~ "you know that place between sleep and awake that place where you still remember dreaming... that's where I'll always love you peter pan that's where I'll be waiting..." ~ tinkerbell ~ |
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