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LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...


...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...

WISH FOR HATE TO END

January 5, 2000


I wish people wouldn't talk behind my back
especially when it's negativity
I wish people wouldn't tell lies about me
when I am not present to speak for me

I wish people wouldn't hold on to hate
for that fills the world with misery
I wish people would stop wearing two faces
maybe then they wouldn't be so lonely

I received another warning in my mailbox today... an anonymous email telling me I should stay hidden or face the consequences... what consequences, I wonder... this has been going on for more than a year and is one of the reasons I have not posted to under my real name even when I had some time...

I received another email today telling me my name is being mentioned negatively in public again... that my web site work is some bad thing and some other such nonsense that portrayed me as some sort of villian... I didn't read the words at first as I give no credibility to people who judge me without knowing me... though I feel as though I am being stalked online by one or more people who have obvious paranoid delusions...

some of you might have read the words I refer to and that is why I post this here... I want to be accepted as who I am, based on my words...

I hope that anyone reading any negative words about me anywhere would come to me and ask me and get to know me before judging me... it is a very lonely feeling to know someone is smiling at me in one forum and speaking negatively about me behind my back elsewhere... I've ignored it for more than a year, stayed away for more than a year, and still wish it would stop... it hasn't...

I have received email from some people I've never heard of asking me to defend myself against accusations they read about me that I had no prior knowledge of... and when I inquire, I find I am being put down online by people I have had no contact with for more than a year... that seems kinda scary... what fuels such a negative obsession?...

I get mail from upset friends telling me they are defending me because others are speaking ill of me in public forums... I don't know what to say sometimes, for they seem more upset than I am... what saddens me is that my name might be tainted or strangers before I ever get a chance to meet them... and that interferes with my networking socially and professionally... might this be legally slander?...

the negativity itself is meaningless... all I can do is thank my friends for speaking up for me in my absence, but at the same time encourage them to ignore the negativity... let it be, for those who cast stones create their own misery and if they blame me or anyone else for it, it just adds to it...

it's not always easy to ignore the stones thrown when they make contact though...

perhaps some of you have experienced what I am trying to express... perhaps knowing I am experiencing it will help you feel less alone... anyone caring to respond with any positive words would be very appreciated... in the end, what goes around comes around... I send you honest love and hope for positivity and release from negativity...

I wish people would not hate anymore
but it's up to them to start to love
I wish people would realize they can not love
as long as hate lives in their hearts

I wish people would stop trying to judge
what they do know know personally
I wish people would stop throwing stones
maybe then they wouldn't be so lonely

I've deliberately ommitted my website addresses from my signature... and I've deliberated mentioned no names... I don't wish to throw stones, I wish the stone throwing to stop... I've ignored the stones thrown at me for more than a year... I've simply come here for support from anyone who cares to offer support...

what would you do in my shoes?... would you continue ignoring the stones even when they give people the wrong impression of who you are?... or would you allow the stones to provoke you to throw stones back?... will you ignore me because of the scarlet letter someone else painted on my back when I was sleeping?...

I'd appreciate your thoughts...

I wrote the next few words a year ago and said nothing more about it for a year... a very wise person suggested we let it be... I let it be...

~ perhaps next year it will stop...

it's next year... in fact, it's the year after next year...

honest love, ric

"And I know that love is everywhere
Always safe, always true
And exactly where it comes from
Is where it's going to"
~~ John Denver ~~

~ it is sad when one's creative efforts are put down for no reason...

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