THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...


...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...

Self-Image
March 19, 2000

>>hi... I have not seen many other posts from you, so I don't know if
>>you've shared more... but your self image is in your power to
>>control... you can focus on the beauty you feel... the love is
>>beauty... your desire is attractive... what is the 'this' you
>>consider unlovable?... is it a feeling of being unloved or
>>rejected?... or is it a feeling that no one could love you or
>>you don't deserve to be loved?... or something else entirely?...

>the 'this' is what I have become, someone who is so used to clinical
>depression that I seem to enjoy it; when something good happens I
>enjoy it for about a day, if that, then manage to over-analyze situations
>in such a way that I bring myself back down, someone who barely ever
>gets excited about situations because deep down I know that by
>getting excited about them I subconciously make them go wrong,
>someone who revels so in self-pity it's ridiculous.

I've found that thinking too much when I am alone too long can lead to all sorts of distorted perspectives in me... and usually they are depressing or paranoia perspectives, with me judging myself poorly and believing everybody else thinks so too... but I can not mind read and believing I know what everybody else thinks is foolish on my part... when I realize this, I reach out... and while some might support my low self esteem at times due to their own problems and abuses, some will reassure me that my downbeat perspective on myself is not theirs... and then, it's up to me whether I choose to believe my down delusions or the negatives of some others - or the positive upbeat of those who see good in me...

I strive to focus on the positive and believe the good thoughts :)

that's part of my thought process as I swing from one end of the emotional pendulum to the other in me... hope it helps you a bit...

>Someone who really needs a new therapist, soon. *weak smile*

any smile is a good smile when it comes from the heart :)

go shopping for a new one soon... and while you're out, share your smile and treat yourself to something you've always wanted :)

>but thankyou, ric.

you're welcome... it helps me to think on the things I write about too... that's part of why I come here and how I choose from all the messages... I feel great when I can help someone, that's part of my nature and has been my life professionally and personally in many ways... but I also help myself by sometimes focuing on subjects and on issues that means something to me too... so thank you too :)

honest love, ric

"And I know that love is everywhere
Always safe, always true
And exactly where it comes from
Is where it's going to"
~~ John Denver ~~

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