LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...
...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...
ON SUPPORT
THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...
...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...
ON SUPPORT
January 15, 2000
>All this FAQ stuff has made me think about the meaning of support.
>
>My experience in this area is limited. I've been to a few other
>usenet support groups, but my stay there has been short. I've also
>been to 3 meetings of a non-net support group. I've also heard what
>others have to say about support groups and their experiences with
>those.
>
>Various themes come up, like being a good listener, trying to
>understand and relate to what others are saying, offering constructive
>criticism, talking about your experiences, respecting others and being
>nice to them, etc.
>
>But there's more to it than that. Sure someone going through those
>actions would look like they care. And sure, it may make some people
>care to some extent in the same way that smiling can make people
>actually feel happier. I just don't want someone to pretend they
>care.
>
>People should just be themselves... things can come naturally, and in
>fact they can be a lot like the list of stuff above. Of course, in
>real life things can't work ideally... you aren't going to have a
>situation where everyone cares about and is nice to everyone. But
>there's more value to that than to any "follow these rules and be
>supportive" thing... it's more honest and it's more real.
>
>I think this is especially important because this place is not just
>for support but it's also for many people for relieving lonelyness.
>Interaction is so much more fulfilling when you're just being
>yourself.
wise words from my perspective...
and I think there is more value in trying to find friendly conversations and compassionate eyes and responses than in trying to make rules that couldn't be enforced anyway...
I'd like to see everyone ask and answer questions and communicate without telling others how to post, where to go, whom to support, or what motives someone else has for being here...
as I've experienced the Usenet and especially ASL for a few years, I've seen different sorts of support sought relate to loneliness... some seek friendly conversation and no more... some seek information about more specific or more clinical support or about other things... some seek offline friendships... and some just want to figure out how to use the new computer they just got because they feel lonely and want to share...
in my other activities online I've seen lonely people who never heard of the Usenet or ASL who'd benefit from finding a group to discuss their loneliness or whatever they'd like... that was one of the primary motivations in suggesting a group project to bring information together on websites and mailing lists... to help more people come together, work together, and find the support they seek...
I think all seeking support should be answered... and no one should be faulted for doing their best to answer in their own way...
honest love, ric
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,
committed citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has".
- Margaret Mead -
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