LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...
...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...
CHANGES - RESPONSIBILITY
THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
"It's hard to tell the truth
LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...
...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...
CHANGES - RESPONSIBILITY
January 4, 2000
>: Well then I guess that's what separates us. You've given up, I didn't.
>: I found happiness, you haven't. Sorry that I couldn't show you there
>: is light at the end of the tunnel.
>
>: I wasn't just lonely 7 months ago - it was a constant state from a
>: very early age. At one point I even decided that if things didn't pick
>: up I'd end it all, but being practical about it I fixed a time some
>: way in the future - my 30th birthday. But instead of being six months
>: into corpsehood, I'm writing this, and I'm happier than I've ever
>: been. I'm not asying I would have gone through with it, but it shows
>: how I used to feel.
>
>Hi,
>
>I was just wondering if you could explain even one thing you could say
>helped you to turn around the situation in your life to the more positive
>and happy way you feel now?
>
Hi... I have turned around my life (it's an ongoing process though... still much to do and it'll take a while) and I asked myself your question...
and I sat here coming up with no concrete answers right at first... the real power was believing I could be in a better place someday, even when I was just barely surviving on the street... when I had nothing, literally nothing, and was eating at shelters, I just kept believing in one truth: everything changes... and it could change for the better...
so what did I actually do I ask... I focused on what I wanted to change and took it one step at a time... I took the first job I could find... I saved and found a cheap room... I saved and bought some necessities and became materially independant again... for a year I did nothing but work - averaged more than 80 hours a week... some weeks I clocked more than 120 hours... I kept a journal of sorts (it's on the web) to keep in touch with myself and friends and anyone who cared to keep in touch... that helps a lot, writing down my experiences and feelings, even when it was just superficial babbling (which I do a lot :)
it was lonely, but I decided my priority for the year would be to rebuild savings so I could have options if I survived the year... I did and 2000 is the start of year three (or is this four?) of my return to life... I moved to a more positive place, found roommates (one of whom I believe I'll call a friend as we come to know each other) and through sharing space I'm starting to expand my social and potential work contacts...
I think the key to successful recovery from anything is patience and believing and focusing on one step at a time... I can sit back now and take a month or two off to re-assess my life and regain some balance in life... and it's time to expand socially, so I'm using the web as much as possible - networking through ICQ and websites (found this place to live at www.sharerent.com and found close friends on and offline through ICQ and met a friend offline right here in this newsgroup... almost met another and hope to meet others who started as online friends)
and after a bit of vegging time (which I'm enjoying at the moment), I'll connect with some more online friends I found in this local area and expand my social network even more... one step at a time, always believing things will change and always hoping they will change for the better... I think the key is doing something, taking the step...
hope this helps, honest love, ric
"there is a difference between knowing the path
and walking the path" ~ The Matrix
I don't know you can relate to my experience or if it helps you in any way, but it's what's happened and is happening to me...
great to see your positivity here :)
>Thanks! And thank YOU for such an inspiring story. It's so tempting to
>want an immediate end to bad situations, and so easy to give up when
>your life doesn't turn around straight away. I think the most
>important phrase in your post is " one step at a time". Well done, and
>best of luck for the future.
>
January 6, 2000
your appreciation and recognition helps a lot... this is what support is about and I thank you for it... there's still plenty for me to work on and do before I can actually be fully healed and resolved... the heart-scars (yeah, it was betrayals of the heart that brought me down) take the longest to heal... life's been quite a roller coaster ride... considering that I started the 90s with a very comfortable home in the country and lots of space and luxuries living a jet set lifestyle... there's still a few big hills to climb...
but I think you hit the nail on the head by focusing on the "one day at a time"... whenever I looked too far ahead I'd trip myself up... there's very rarely, if ever, a fast track to success... success is not one swooping leap, but rather a whole lot of little daily successes that we need to learn to recognize and appreciate...
and repeating it over and over and over again is the way I learned it... so as much as redundancy can be frustrating or annoying, it's the way to success... I agree that being overly concerned with what others think - or with what others do - is one way to avoid taking responsibility and doing what must be done to fix whatever is not right in one's life... I did that myself for a while, focusing on trying to help others as a way of avoiding helping myself... anything can become a distraction that way...
maybe the biggest obstacle of all is swallowing the pill of responsibility... facing the fact that the only thing keeping us lonely is not doing the things we must do to be less lonely... not opening up more...not reaching out more... not letting go of old habits and behaviours that haven't worked... not trying new things... not going out at all, in many cases...
a lot of people don't want to hear what they need to hear most if they really want to change things in their lives... some will go so far as to attack the messenger... that's probably why many people stick to themselves and don't try to help others... and why people like you who try to help are so valuable to a support group...
so I hope you stick around and keep the positivity flowing :)
honest love, ric
When no one wants to listen
When no one really cares what's going on
And it's hard to stand alone
When you need someone beside you
Your spirit and your faith must be stong"
~~ John Denver ~~
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