THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...


...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...

Frustration

February 18, 1998

  different voices... different choices...

there are days I just don't want to care
when no one seems to care about me
I don't even want to know what to do
just a tied-up knot lost in apathy

there are days when I just want to die
when hope is something I just don't see
and I don't even want to know about you
I'm too busy feeling sorry for me

so fuck it all
why should I care
who gives a damn
that I was here

these are just words
I'm still alone
day-to-day life
I'm on my own

and when I'm gone
who'll shed a tear
will that be proof
that I was here?

and then I heard
somebody say
it's just a game
I choose to play

and in the end
this rant is done
I let it out
it was no fun

so what's the point
to apathy
meaningless pain
or killing me

so scream and shout
and tell me why
you see a reason
you should die

what makes you think
your pain is worth
more than a life
here on this earth?

you just don't care
that is the shame
it is your choice
it is your blame

and then a voice asked words I didn't want to hear
if you don't care about yourself, then why should I care?
it's your choice to feed and hang on to your fear
why should I try so hard to get you to share?

why should I feel for you if you won't feel for me?
you think death is the end to your misery
well maybe it is, but what if it's not
this may be the best chance you've got

so fuck it all
why should I care
why worry more
why create despair

these are just words
it is your choice
scream love or hate
it is your voice

choose to feel bad
or choose to feel good
or choose to never
know you could

and in the end
the rant is done
it's all let out
and was it fun?

so what's the point
to apathy
meaningless pain
or killing me

what will it prove
to give up on me
 just that I did...

...

...

...

I chose not to see

the love all around
the love that's inside
the love I refuse
the love I deny

yes it's just a word
but it is my choice
and sometimes I choose
to use my voice

and sometimes I sit
on a silent shelf
just licking my wounds
feeling sorry for myself

so what's it all mean
one day at a time
some up, some down
some may even rhyme

maybe it's true
it don't mean a thing
but it's what I do
for myself I sing

to know I am here
to know I can feel
to laugh and to cry
to know it was real

a million words
or just one or two
share them or not
it's up to you

ric

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