LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...
...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...
Failure
...from the thread A Friend Is...
THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...
...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...
Failure
...from the thread A Friend Is...
August 22, 1998
>> Hi
>>
>> In your earlier mails, you wrote:
>>
>> > What happens when I reach the point where I don't trust myself
>> >anymore?
>>
>> Why don't you trust yourself? Why can you not trust your best friend,
>> yourself? Or are you not your own best friend? If not, how about
>> forgiving yourself? Forgiving yourself for the things you failed to do.
>> Forgiving yourself for the things you tried and then you failed.
>> After you have managed to forgive yourself, you will be able to love
>> yourself again. And be your own best friend. And a best friend is
>> someone you can trust, always, about everything.
>>
>> > In life, one bases future actions upon past knowledge. For instance,
>> >could you fly a 747? If you have the proper training, then no problem.
>> >However, if you're just a passenger who has never even been in the
>> >cockpit, then it becomes a different story. Training to land a 747 while
>> >in flight is not something anyone would want to do. That's how I feel
>> >(although I could probably land a 747!). It's not like they have a
>> >school for training on how to have friends.
>>
>> We are all scared, because that school does not exist. The only school
>> there is, is the school of real life and you can only learn there by
>> trying. Trial and error. They come together.
>> But so do trial and success.
>>
>> > If my life depended upon landing a 747, I'd probably find that
>> >comparatively easy. It's a machine, and I get along a lot better
with
>> >machines than with people. And, I haven't had 26 years of failures
>> >with machines. What happens when you don't know how to try anymore?
>> >Or you're afraid to try? I think that's where I am right now. Fear.
>> >I don't know how else to explain it.
>>
>> What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid of trying? Are you afraid
>> of failing? Or are you even afraid of succeeding? Being alone can become
>> comfortable in a way because it is very predictable, and therefore safe.
>> But there is little happiness in that kind of security.
>>
>> I asked you some questions here, and yes I admit, I was prodding. But
>> trust me, I was prodding you with love.
>>
>> Warm Hugs,
>>
> I am my best friend? No wonder I don't have any friends, if that's the
>best I can do. I always thought my best friend was my computer...
> I don't trust me because I always screw things up. I'm pretty good at
>doing that.
> How does one forgive oneself for being a failure?
> I'm afraid of trying anymore because all I get out of it anymore is
>failure. I'm used to failure, that's a constant companion anymore. As
>far as being alone, I've been alone for so long that I don't know
>anything different. Trust me, there is no happiness in being alone.
>
failure is giving up... failure is not trying... failure is *not*
not succeeding...
please consider this perspective... it keeps me alive and hopeful and positive and my own best friend... it allows me to continue trusting myself and believing in myself... and it is the truth...
I just used this example recently, but it's worth using again... consider Edison... how many hundreds of "failures" before he found the right substance to sustain light in the light bulb... how many hundreds of opportunities to give up and not do what he *could* do, what he *did* do because he lived by the truth I stated above...
and there is no happiness in being alone if you don't want to be alone... I agree... so try another light bulb... a few hundred tries would take more than a year if you tried every night and took a few nights off along the way... rejection is *not* a failure - it is *their* loss... take that power back from them and put it back where it belongs, within yourself...
you are worth my time an energy here... you have been worth lots of other people's time and energy... believe us and start believing in yourself a little... just a little for starters... just enough to see there is truth in these words... you are only a failure if you give up... please don't give up...
honest love, ric
ENTRANCE
CROSSROADS
FAREWELL
EMAIL EMAIL