THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...


...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...

Caring About Yourself

August 2, 1998

>I am finding out something rather interesting about loneliness.
>It seems to be one of the very few problems that goes away if you
>ignore it.
>
>I've tried other solutions. I've spent endless hours
>examining my situation and coming up with ways to change it.
>I've tried changing myself. I've been warm and caring. I've been
>harsh and cold. Nothing worked. Then one day I said to hell with
>it and stopped trying altogether.
>
>I just don't think about it.
>
>I don't spend any more time wishing I wasn't alone.
>
>As soon as I catch myself wishing I had some form of companionship
>I immediately blow it off and go find something productive to do.
>I am polite and courteous to everyone but I don't even consider
>approaching someone as a potential friend. Most of the time it
>never even occurs to me. This may seem somewhat bleak, but
>actually things have been going rather well for me.
>
>I am doing great at my job, I feel a hell of a lot better about
>myself, and I have started working out again and am really
>enjoying it. I think perhaps I've reclaimed a lot of energy
>I was wasting being pointlessly miserable.
>
>Don't know if it will work for everyone, but hell;
>it's better than nothing.
>


I thought your words were worth reposting :)

something like... no expectations, no disappointments...

and perhaps the sharing you seek will come because you are not trying so
hard to find it and finding satisfacion in the positive aspects of your
life... and enjoying your self...

thank you for stating the importance of taking care of yourself,
of doing things for one's self - and as you say - reclaiming the energy
wasted on what is missing... I believe that we can not love or be loved
unless we love our self... that's what's missing when we're allowing
depression or self-pity to focus us away from self...

it's not being selfish... it's being centered... and focused on what you
*can* do instead of what is not available... it's caring about yourself...

hopefully you are not *avoiding* potential deeper sharing and choosing
superficiality as a safe zone to live in... that's a hard habit to break
and for me, not a cure, but the disease too many suffer from...

I hope you stay open with no expectations and welcome the sharing of
friends whenever they might appear...

and may your life satisfy you even without friends for now...

so how's it going? :)

honest love, ric

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