THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
LETTERS TO STRANGERS
...WORDS I HAVE POSTED PUBLICALLY IN VARIOUS PLACES IN RESPONSE TO OTHERS WORDS...
...a friend is a stranger waiting to be met...
Depression With Irreverence (DWI)
(in this issue, ric pulls out his calculator and fights depression with numerology and ireverence)
(however while alcohol is discussed, he does not drive or drive)
February 12, 1998
hello again I say again welcome again, and cheeeeze
and to the usenet muses - let this post show up please
the last message I posted was unavailable to meees
so if this is a duplicate for you, sincere apologies...
I guess it could be worse... we could have lice or fleas...
(or even some unknown embarrasing social disease)
ok, since my newsserver crashed and I have some extra time, I figured
I'd do a little more than wave a welcome... just a bit more ;)
welcome...
ok, let's get serious... depressed?... of course we are... we want
full and satisfying lives and we're here typing in the dark to strangers
we will probably never know, no less meet... some of us are mad at the
world and want to bite somebody's head off... some of us are mad at the
world and want to bite somebody's head off and don't know it... some of
us just want to feel pathetic and cry with others who feel pathetic and
cry... some of us just want to watch others feeling pathetic and crying
or biting other people's heads off (whether they know it or not)... some
of us want to laugh so bad we just ramble on about any old nonsense and
wonder if they're serious or joking or just losing control of the
horizontal control in their head...
but it hurts, and it's uncomfortable,
even if we've learned to live with it
and even if we're mostly numb...
and whether we're here for
distraction,
interaction,
self-destruction,
alien abduction,
self-pity,
to be witty,
to bore,
or war,
to pretend,
to find a friend,
to learn,
or to burn,
to create,
or to wait,
to lurk
or just hurt,
to help
or to yelp,
to contemplate the end,
or to really find a friend...
we're almost all here because life off line is lonely
and we want to share something, even if it's just reading...
right, so anyway, I'm still awake (fooled ya, didn't I? ;)
so, you (and you know who you are ;) wrote in message ...
> I'm 24, mail, still a virgin, last girlfriend was about 15 years
>ago, I'm kind of the anti social type. This last entire year I tried
>drowning it with booze. Every night I come home, get half drunk and
>go to sleep. Only lately have I tried quitting. Instead of drinking
>Id go hiking. It helps a little, makes me extremely tired (of course
>I'm wide awake now) SHIT!
>
I tried to live in a bottle, from brandy to wine to vodka to tequila
to mixed drinks to ice teas to beers... and I tried the other escapes
too... ultimately I learned Ringo's (though Harry Nilsson may have
wrote it, or somebody else even) "No No Song" made a lot of sense to
me... in other words, I got tired of waking up on the floor... so I
went back to running and actually felt better (amazing, huh? ;)
... of course I don't sleep nearly as much, but at least I wake up
on the floor a lot less ;)
> I've actually been thinking of suicide. DOH!
>
I've thought about it... but I know me and I'm too dang stubborn to
give up and quit anything, so I'm sticking it out... I figure any
world with Animaniacs in it has to want me to stay, even if it
doesn't show it enough for my satisfaction... heck, it might
surprise me... I might even surprise me... anything's possible,
just look at who's in the oral office...
oh, I mean oval office...
> I guess I'm not ugly. 6'2" and 175 lbs (about 10 pounds from
>boozing). Its probably going to take another year to get rid of
>these love handles. But who cares, nobody's going to love them
>anyways. AHhhh the life of a loner. Been that way all my life.
> NO no don't pity me. I have enough of that already.
>
ok I won't... consider your life a quarter done... and so you still
have three more chances to find what you're looking for... heck,
consider your life 24/96ths done... that way you've got 72 more
chances to try new ways to get what you want... I mean, what's a
calendar for anyway if not to divide up a life into trials and
errors?... so ok, we can...
one moment whilst I pull out a calculator...
ok, we can say your life is 8766/35064ths done and you've got 26298
more tries at getting it the way you want it... of course there's 24
hours in a day and as most of us know an hour can be a very long time,
heck a minute can feel like an eternity when loneliness really
swallows us... so... your life is 12,623,040/50,492,160ths done and
you've got at least thirty seven million eight hundred sixty nine
thousand one hundred and twenty more chances to try something
different to get your life the way you want it... wow, and that's
not even considering it moment by moment ;)
numerology as a cure for depression and loneliness?... hmmmm LOL
> I dont want to bumm you guys out.
>
good, cuz I don't think I'm bummed at the moment and I wouldn't want to
disappoint you... ya got what you wanted, I'm not bummed out... happy?
> Hey do any of you have AOL? We could chat? You know. Better then
>chatting with myself which I'm currently doing.
>
I have AIM, but no AOL, but also have a meer laptop and not enough
memory to keep AIM open so I don't use it... I do have ICQ, which
takes up less space than AIM, so I use it... there is an I-C-Q for
A-O-L but I un-der-stand it might-not-work too well... probably
because it's a competitor and as the MS motto goes,
"incompatibility increases profits"...
yeah, and you though IP meant Internet Protocol. huh?...
actually, IP is a guy with skinny sunglasses sticking his tongue out...
the secret password around MS is, of course, IIP (iip for insiders)...
anybody notice the coincidence that two of the most powerful men in the
world are both named Bill and both seem to enjoy screwing people?...
and of course, we pay the bill... uh-huh...
maybe the F-B-I needs to e-mail an R-S-V-P to the C-I-A and In-ter-pol
and check the president's drawers - desk drawers, that is, for the
secret plans to universal compatibility... after all, there's one world
leader who seems to have the time to fit into just about any body, I
mean, he seems to be able to fit just about anybody in - to his busy
schedule, that is...
hey, I turned on the news last night... got bored ;)
ok, but *somebody* out there must have AOL... all we have to do is get
them to admit it ;)
> So ahhh I've have my emotional problems from my childhood but trying
>to overcome them. God I sound like I just came from a therapist!!!
>
I've been to a therapist... heck, I've *been* a therapist... neither
side of the couch helped me any, I'm just incorrigible ;) ... but
there is much good in counseling for anyone who uses it right...
basically an objective honest friend (someone who has no hidden agendas
and wants nothing from you but your happiness and peace of mind), is the
best therapist you can find... unless you don't trust anybody, and in
that case, you might need some of the tools the "professional" is
supposed to know how to use...
do keep in mind that a can opener is not one of them :)
> What am I driving at here? Oh yeah. I'm With you. Your not alone
>anymore.
>
wondering what you got yourself into yet? ;) LAM... well heck, this is
certainly better than watching Olympic Skater Barbie commercials...
isn't it? (ok, who's gonna admit that had to think about this for more
than ten seconds? ;) ... actually, I'm practicing laughter therapy and
trying to get it right... and let's see, I if I'm careful (and stay out
of the crosshairs of snipers ;) I have about 1,704,110,400 more chances
to get it right :)
> ANd dont you frickin mention Valentines Day! When I see couples
>together I actually get angry too. Not angry at them but angry at
>myself. That sucks! I mean that really really really sucks!
>
gotcha... we call it V-Day around here... and you've got a good
perspective... that is, you know what you're angry about... it's a
wonder more people aren't biting each other here this week... some don't
have anyone to love like romantically with cards and flowers and candy
and dinner and, well, whatever might come after dinner... cartoons,
perhaps... some love someone and have no way to tell them... ever have a
cyber e-card or e-flowers *returned*?... at least with snail mail, you
get a week or two to get your hopes up... cyber speeds everything up...
instant rejections... instant depressions... anyone believe in instant
happiness?... cyber-love-at-first-site? (that's cyberlove@firstsite.com
of course)... don't bother clicking on the address, it's just anothe
cruel dream that's not connected to anything in the real world... or
cyber world, for that matter...
no, definitely don't want to talk about V-Day ;)
> Just remember that there is someone more pitiful then you, and
>that's me. That should cheer you up. :)
>
my pain hurts more than yours
my pain hurts more than your pain,
just watch me pick at my sores"
(there's music to that, but I just don't remember the name of the song
at the moment... was a commercial I think too ;)
so welcome to another meeting of loneliness anonymous... la la la la
la... oh, the question for this meeting is this cynicism or humour?...
I'm qveching, talk amongst yourselves...
enjoy it all, even the typos,
ric (who's not always like this... sometimes he's very boring)
...there is more
seriousness
in my irreverence
than in most people's
seriousness
and more
irreverence
in my seriousness
than anyone has yet to fully explore...
ENTRANCE
CROSSROADS
FAREWELL
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