Name: Never Ready Bunny    

Never Ready Bunny Gets Fife Stuck!

The Never Ready Bunny, blowing another tune, after the reenactment fight.

A Real War, or a Reenactment?
By Sally Writer.

Reenactment fans had a show today when the Mr. Never Ready Bunny had it out with an unidentified man about what constituted music.  It was reported that Mr. Bunny was screaming and yelling for two straight hours at this guy when the fife was reportedly jammed up is rectum.  One observer stated "I have never seen something so funny, I wonder if he (Mr. Bunny) will ever get the taste out of the mouth piece?"   Another witness stated they thought "Mr. N. Bunny had it coming to him.   At least now we can say his music smells like it sounds."  Mr. Never Ready Bunny's actions did not stop there.  Once transported to the hospital for treatment, he started threatening hospital staff with lawsuits for malpractice and looking at his privates.  One nurse stated that "he was all concerned we were going to see him naked, once we did, we knew what it was he was worried about.  Or should I say the lack of that he was worried about"  Doctors stated "we wanted him out as soon as they brought him in.  All he did was complain and make it uncomfortable for everyone he came into contact with.  My greatest pleasure was releasing him to bother someone else."  Detectives stated that they did not feel that charges would be filed, since Mr. Bunny incited the incident by his two hour tantrum.   Officers stated they have encountered this sour bunny before, citing investigations from former employers on vanishing inventories under the bunny's control.  While this leach on society went home today, we are sure that it is not the last. 

Bad Music or Bad Behavior
By Richard Fegler

It is a wonder what goes through some people's heads these days. The fact that people out there don't seem to work and feel everything should be handed to them or their parents should take care of them forever.  Take for instance, Mr. Never Ready Bunny.  While his medical records were under review for a fraudulent disability claim, it was discovered that he visited the doctor complaining that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he is expected to do and would never do.  When the doctor told him there was nothing physically wrong with him, but that he was just plain lazy, Mr. Bunny asked him to put that in medical terms so he could tell his parents!   It's bad enough that this guy has been sponging off his parents all his pitiful life, but now he comes up with excuses of why he is incapable to do the simplest things.   It seems like it was just yesterday when people would go to school, get some skills and get a job.  Often they would get their own place to live and make their own life, sometimes even a family.  With the morals of this Bunny, we only hope he never reproduces.  For the morals and lack of work ethic that would be passed down would only go to enlarge the burden on society in this writer's opinion.  This type of person makes me think we should require a license before someone is allowed to reproduce.

Opinions of this writer are not necessarily those of this newspaper or company.