This celebrity encounter story is a long one, so make sure you pack your sleeping bag. Michael Moore is probably the most famous and outspoken critic of our government. His weapons against the government are his films and books, which seem to indicate nothing is safe from Moore's criticisms. Moore's latest work "Fahrenheit 911" has been a huge success and became the first documentary to ever appear at the top spot of the box office opening weekend.
The main message in this film is that George W. Bush is unfit for office and removing him has been his mission this year. The upcoming election was the very reason Moore decided to start a tour called "The Slacker Uprising Tour" and it just so happened to be coming to our town.
Before it came they passed out flyers on our college campus stating that if you volunteered for the event you would be able to MEET Michael Moore! This sounded like a really good deal to us, but we just didn't have that kind of time. Instead we hoped that it would be possible to meet him heading into the backstage area. Sterling had to cancel his plans of going to the event at the last minute, but I wasn't about to miss this opportunity. The day before the event I ran into fellow autograph collector Newt (which was a surprise since I hadn't seen him in so long) and he gave me free tickets to the event. Now instead of just trying for an autograph I would be attending the event as well, which was cool.
I arrived at the venue and was happy to see that they took down the fences in the backstage area. It would be really easy for me to just wait around and now my autograph chances depended solely on Michael Moore. After waiting for thirty minutes, a lot of security guards and police officers came out and surprisingly didn't shoo me away. With their arrival I figured that he would be coming soon and crossed my fingers. Moments later a luxury car carrying Michael Moore pulled up, but what it did next surprised me.
The guards helped usher the car down a long ramp to the base of the venue, much like Stone Cold Steve Austin did when we tried to meet him. Unlike Stone Cold however, they opened up a garage door and had him park inside the hallway of the venue- which is weird because this area wasn't meant to hold vehicles. Clearly this was going to be an uphill battle if I wished to meet him and now my only chance would be inside the venue.
My Mom gave me some company on this outing and when she arrived we headed inside. Even though we were a bit late we got some great seats and I spotted the ramp he would be coming down to get to the stage. I eyed one seat in particular that would be the perfect position next to the ramp and was confident it wouldn't be taken. As I was looking at the ramp I noticed autograph collector Newt (who was volunteering) positioned near the ramp and he had his "Fahrenheit 911" poster spread out over the railing, making sure Mr. Moore couldn't miss it on his way out. Suddenly Newt jumped into action pointing at his poster with his Sharpie to somebody up the ramp.
Later I learned that Michael Moore was there and kept shaking his head no to Newts request. Some local democratic politicians took to the stage and introduced the filmmaker. Moore walked down the ramp keeping his head lowered to ignore Newts poster, once again, and hit the stage. I can understand his reasons for not signing on the way in and hoped that he was just waiting till after the show. Moore had some pretty interesting comments and showed some humorous commercials that he made.
He had a lazy boy on stage so he could sit back and relax while he watched the clips, which was a funny setup. When I figured the show was about over I left my seat and secured that great position near the ramp. The speech finally ended and he started making his way to the ramp surrounded by his bodyguards. He looked up and saw that some of us wanted autographs, but instead of reaching out for a Sharpie he just put his head back down and hurriedly went inside. I couldn't believe it and was starting to get the hint that this man doesn't like signing autographs.
I quickly caught up with Newt and we headed to the backstage area to see if we could get his autograph there. Since Newt volunteered for the event I reminded him that it was advertised that they would be able to meet him for giving up their time. So after looking at the small chance we would have backstage Newt and I went back inside to find out about the meet and greet he was promised.
I was right, volunteers were going to be taken to a meet and greet. This was good for Newt, but not me because I obviously wasn't a volunteer. Thankfully Newt was watching my back and gave his volunteer pass to me because he had another one in his bag. This was really nice of him and the other volunteers didn't mind, so I was all set.
They wouldn't let the volunteers go to the meet and greet until everyone was out of the building, so all of us tried to get them to leave. Soon after it was announced over the PA that they wanted all volunteers to head to the floor of the venue. Once there, a man said we were going back to meet Michael Moore and to follow him up the ramp. Everyone was so excited and many fans had books, pictures, posters out and ready to get signed.
They took us to the top of the ramp and made everyone wait. From there Michael Moore's sister came out and saw our pictures/posters and said he wouldn't be signing anything because they would most likely end up on ebay. A few fans argued with her and stated they were huge fans of his, but she just restated that he would likely refuse to sign. I guess it would be all up to Moore himself and I hoped he would come through.
They opened the side door and out came his personal security guards followed by Michael Moore himself. They wouldn't let the crowd move into the room; until Moore said we could all come over and fill out the room. Right away he looked at everyone's items and shook his head no, which made our smiles turn upside down. I was ahead of everyone (along with Newt) and was standing directly in front of Michael Moore holding out my picture and Sharpie.
As he was saying his brief words he would occasionally look down at my picture and other fans items. At one point Newt asked him point blank to sign, but he said he couldn't because it wouldn't be fair for everyone. There were only about 30 fans there and he surely could've taken a second out of his schedule to scribble a few autographs.
Newt did trick him into getting a picture with him however, by shaking his hand and holding on for a photo-op -which was kind of funny. He only talked for about 4 minutes and was about to leave when one of the organizers stopped him. He said there was one volunteer that hadn't come down yet because she was 80 years old and was having a hard time getting down the stairs. "Would that make me jerk if I left?"
Michael Moore jokingly said in response to what he had to say. So he just stood there waiting for her, doing absolutely nothing. As we were waiting he looked down at our sharpies and pictures but still wouldn't sign, ridiculous. By the time the lady made it to the crowd he could have taken care of every autograph request/photo-ops or shaken everyone's hands at the very least. When she arrived all she got was a thank you from him at a distance and got to ask a question. Then just like that they opened the door and he waved goodbye. Newt tried to give an SASE to his staff members/security guards but they said he doesn't accept fan mail, so it appears he's even bad responding to by mail requests.
Most of the volunteers in this small room weren't close and couldn't see Michael Moore that well. They had worked since 1:30pm to meet him and all they got was a small Q&A without even having the chance to shake his hand. That was a dirty thing for them to pull, you don't promise things, which will never happen.
Then the organizers said, "Okay you met him now clean up all of the trash", which a lot of people responded, "Yeah right" and took off. There were definitely a lot of angry volunteers and there is no way to defend such a shameless ploy to get free help. I walked out of the doors and thanked Newt for giving me the best chance of the night to get his autograph.
I saw many other fans waiting by the backstage area and they called me over to find out some inside information. None of them could believe it and a couple of veterans there were simply disgusted at what they did. Then the garage door opened and the luxury car headed out. Fans held up their signs, but Mr. Moore didn't see it. Why is that you ask? Well because he ducked down in the back seat pretending not to see everyone, but we could see him crouching down. What a bad signer, I had enough and went home.
