Performed aboard the MS Regal Empress November 20, 1999.
The melody is that of "The Man Who Will Never Return", the song about the poor man who got on the Boston subway and didn't have enough money to get off.
Chorus:
Oh we'll never return
No we'll never return
And our fate will ne'er be learned
We will spend our days
On the great high seas
On the ship that will never return.
Verses:
Oh we spent all day
In a parking ramp
In good old Savannah G - A
And we reached the dock late
For our cruising date
On the ship that will never return.
The ship set out
With a crew of sea scouts
And the captain a simple lad
They could paddle any boat
That would stay afloat
They had earned their merit badge.
The captain had forgot
Which way was out
While tied up to the quay
He cast the lines loose
And gave the horn a toot
And went full speed the wrong way.
We sought dry land
On that silver strand
Down Puerto Plata way
But the schedule had slipped
So the port was missed
And we came back another day.
We were to set our feet
On a French island beach
At the dawn of the Sabbath day
But four hundred old farts
Never reached St. Bart's
And the ship wandered on her way.
We left Antigua early
In a great big hurry
To make room for a freighter ship
And we missed Tortola
With a storm coming over
'Cause Lenny had shortened the trip.
We'll line the rail
Waiting for the mail
With our social security
They can send our checks
To the Regal Empress
Somewhere on the great high seas.
Our thoughts now stray
To a place far away
In good old Savannah G - A
It would feel good to camp
In that parking ramp
With our cruise but a memory.