"Is There A Doctor In The House??"

Most folks are familiar with Southern dialect, Southern drawl, and even Southern slang.  But in the event you are visiting Dixie and should become in  need of medical help, it would behoove you to have a bit 'o knowledge concerning Southern medical terminology.  Take just a few moments to study the following phrases and their interpretations provided for your information and convenience.

"Now yall study hard..ya heah!"

A

Anesthesia -A Russian Princess   Antacid - Hallucinating drug used by ants
Antibodies -Things uncles are familiar with   Artery -Study of paintings B Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria   Barium - What  you do when a patient dies
Benign -What you are after you be eight  Bilateral -someone who speaks 2 languages
Bisexual -A person who pays for sex   Blood Count - Dracula

C

Carditis -Addicted to poker   Caesarean Section -A district in Rome  Colic -A Sheep Dog
Carpal -People who drive to work together   Cataract -A whole lot nicer than a Chevrolet
Cauterize -Made eye contact with her   Coma -A punctuation mark   Congenital -Friendly

D

D&C -Where Washington is   Dilate -To live long

E

Electrode -Amount due to the power company    Enema -Not a friend

F

Fester -Quicker   Fibula - small lie   Fibrillates - tells lies

G

Gangreen -Gang colors   Gargles- Quasimodo's friends   Genital -Non-Jewish
G.I. Series - Soldier ball game

H

Homosexual -One who has sex at home   Humerus - Funny bone

I

ICU -Peek-a-boo  Impotent -Distinguished; well known   Ingrown Hair - rabbit raised indoors
Injection -Opposite of rejection   Intern - One after another

K

Kidney - The joint between a child's hip and ankle

L

Labor Pain -Getting hurt at work   Liver - A person who lives on and on  Lumbar -wood planks

M Megahertz - Hurts real bad!

N

Nitrate - Cheaper than  day rate    Node - Was aware of

O

Outpatient - Person who has fainted

P

Pap smear - Fatherhood test   Pathology -Study of roadmaps  Pasteurize - Too far to see
Pelvis -Cousin of Elvis   Phlebitis - Why dogs scratch

R

Rectum-Dang near killed him!  Relapse -Second time around the track
Retractor -Second hand John Deere

S

Secretion -Hiding something    Seizure -Roman emperor    Shock -Ocean fish with sharp teeth
Systole - Your sister told on you

T

Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport    Transexual - Having sex while driving
Triple bypass - Better than a quarterback sneak   Tumor - More than one

U

Urine -Opposite of "You're Out"/ Opposite of  "mine"

V

Varicose Veins - Veins that are very close

If I have missed some impotent terms you know of,
please email me !!
 
 

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