Most parents of teenagers have that dazed look, sort of similar to parents of newborns. The difference is that while the infants' parents are losing sleep, the teens' parents fear they are losing their minds…
The teen years are generally marked with power struggles as children encroach on the line to adulthood. Their need to assert their independence becomes immensely important. Suddenly, their parents whom they had seen as guides and paragons are pushed off the pedestal. This is when communications can erode to almost nothing as parents and teens seem to separate into different and incompatible worlds, if not universes.
Even though we have all gone through it and may have our own memories of the deep pain and frustration we felt, it is still difficult to bring that sense of empathy back with us into today's battlefield. Raging hormones and hormonal rages prevail on the home-front. When you add Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) to the mix, the teen years become even more challenging.
"You just don't understand!" is a common refrain from an agitated teen, but in the case of an ADD teen, it's true: We don't understand. How could we, unless we have the condition ourselves?
Most teens with attention deficit disorders are diagnosed long before they enter high school. The symptoms are easy to spot in a school environment, such as:
And when the child has ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), he or she is also viewed as "hyper," not able to sit still, talking excessively, or acting impulsively. About 5 percent of school-age children have been diagnosed with it, but there are many other children out there who have not been diagnosed and are wondering what's wrong with them. When my daughter was diagnosed at age five, almost six years ago, I was told by her doctors that "she would probably outgrow it by the time she was in high school, or even by middle school." New evidence refutes this theory. The hyperactive component, if present to begin with, may diminish as the child matures, but the other ADD issues will likely remain throughout adulthood. Indeed, many adults are now being diagnosed with ADD. They have struggled all their lives with frustrations and failures and are only now finding out that there is a reason, and they are not stupid or lazy or crazy!
As difficult as it may be to accept, it is best if the child and adult try to see the diagnosis as an "ah-ha, now we understand!" as opposed to looking at it as a stigma or life sentence. There are many coping strategies that can be learned by the teenager and parent. The advantage is that the child's age and maturity level can help him or her to understand the benefits of learning how to better manage ADD. It is important that you get a handle on it as soon as possible. High school places so many demands on students, which can be overwhelming to a teen with ADD, if he or she is not prepared to handle these pressures.
What exactly is ADD? Unfortunately, no one knows exactly what it is or what causes it. Experts refer to it as a neurobiological disability. The rate at which the brain uses glucose, its main energy source, has been shown to be lower in persons with ADD, especially in the parts of the brain responsible for handwriting, motor control and planning, according to the national organization, C.H.A.D.D.
Only a trained physician can make an accurate diagnosis. There is no clear-cut test for ADD, but an expert may examine medical history, request feedback from those close to you, including teachers, and administer a variety of tests. In the assessment phase, you may work with a medical doctor, a psychologist, a licensed counselor or any combination of experts.
Treatment can include medication, such as Ritalin, a stimulant. Proponents of the drug say it enhances dopamine flow in the brain and increases impulse control and attention span. You should know that there is still a controversy regarding the use of these drugs in young people. You will want to go to a doctor who has been recommended to you and, preferably, even obtain a second opinion. You can start with your regular doctor and get recommendations from him or her, as well as other parents, the school and local support groups, such as C.H.A.D.D. chapters.
My daughter is currently on Ritalin, and I am still in a quandary about it. It was told to me that I should think of it as being as important as giving insulin to a diabetic, but as a mom, knowing my child is getting strong drugs every day is a tough pill to swallow! It is a difficult decision, and I advise you to garner as much expertise as you can before you make the decision that is best for your child. ADD treatment can also involve psychotherapy and behavior management.
What are the negative effects of having attention deficit disorders? These children are at greater risk for school failure and can have difficulty making and/or keeping friends. There is also information that says that people with ADD are also more at risk for other problems, such as learning disabilities, depression, or alcohol or drug use. Needless to say, self-esteem often suffers.
Since ADD is recognized as a disability, your child is entitled to certain rights. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, say "that children with ADD must receive access to special education and/or related services when needed. This education mush be designed to meet each child's unique educational needs through a tailored program" (extracted from C.H.A.D.D. - Educational Rights for Children with ADD). If you suspect your child has ADD, you can raise this issue with your school and request that your child be tested. Special support is also required at the college level, by colleges and universities that receive federal funding.
Here are some tools your teen can use to get started: (excerpted from A Teenager's Guide, by James J. Crist, Ph.D. ):
I know it's not easy, but try to keep a positive perspective. People with ADD are usually very bright, creative and outgoing people who prevail and accomplish great things in life! Dr. Kathleen Nadeau, a well-known author and authority on ADD, stated: "A study of successful business entrepreneurs today will show a great over-representation of individuals with ADD. People in sales, inventors, politicians, comedians, pilots, entertainers and all manner of high profile people have strong ADD characteristics."
Good luck to you, and remember to let the love you have for your child guide you.
For further reading, here are some books geared especially to teens:
ADHD: A Teenagers Guide, James Crist, Paperback, 173pp.
Help4ADD @ High School, Kathleen Nadeau
Fun and easy for teens to read.
Adolescents and ADD: Gaining the Advantage, Patricia Quinn,
paperback, 81pp.
This book is written for ADD middle school and high school students
and their parents.
Give your ADD Teen a Chance, Lynn Weiss, paperback, 299
pages.
This book provides parents with benchmarks for ADD.
Survival Guide for College Students with ADD or LD, Kathleen
Nadeau,
paperback, 56pp.
Succeeding In College With Attention Deficit Disorders,
J.S. Bramer,
paperback, 189 pages
A practical book for college students with ADD and those planning
on going to college.