Updated 03/30/02
Welcome to Muffin's Web Page!
Hello! My name is Muffin, 'cause I'm soooo sweet! And Soft!
Glad you dropped in to visit ~~ makes me purrrr!
I'm 18 years young (Fall of 2001) and I now live in Colorado. I was born in North Carolina, then moved with mom and dad to New Jerkey -- I mean New Jersey - before we finally retired and settled in Parker, Colorado. WHEW! I hate traveling!
Here I am in one of my favorite poses! My mom put a birdhouse in the tree outside this window. Heh, heh! She doesn't realize I can sit here and pretend to be chasing them!
Here I am in another one of my favorite poses. This is where I spend most of my day (and nights!) when I'm not playing or eating, I'm generally napping here or watching the rabbits and squirrels play in my backyard.
CAT
KISSES:
Sandpaper kisses
On a cheek or a chin -
That is the way
for a day to begin!
Sandpaper kisses
A cuddle and a purr.
I have an alarm clock
That's covered in fur!
- Author Unknown
Want to
read about Where
Pets Come From ? (Click
on the underline).
How about The Story of Creation - from a
Cat's Point of View?
And
here I am performing my bathing ritual
..
..
..
How to Give
a Cat A Bath
Some people have the misconception that cats never have
to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves
clean.
Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have
some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or
without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog .... do get dirty and
have a variety of odors... from smelling like the outhouse
where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath.
(Remember... your dog will try to eat anything.)
Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that
giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is
out of the question. (See "Instructions for Giving Your Cat
Pill")
So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct.
Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with
lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness
and total lack of concern for you (see also "Diary of a Cat") ....
you have the advantage of size, strength, and
the ability to wear protective garments.
1. First .... dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet
suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and
welders gloves.
2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one
with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of
these in about 3.5 seconds.
3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub
area before hand.
No ... blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.
4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you
still need to find the cat.
Position everything strategically in the shower, so
you can reach it even
if you are face down or prone in the tub.
5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick
the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were
simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to
worry about the cat
noticing your strange attire . the cat barely notices you anyway.
6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom .... speed is
essential.
In one single liquid motion ... shut the door to the bathroom,
step into the shower,
close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water.
While the cat is
still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt
whatever part of him is
above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds
of your life.
Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now
has soapy fur.
His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than hell.
7. As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field
his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling.
If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles
with his body now fully exposed.
8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub
vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As
he slides
down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back
into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times.
The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by
then and will use the next attempt on the first available
part of you.
10. Next, the cat must be dried. No...this is NOT the
easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the
cat
has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.
We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of
your cat . reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.
11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off
your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet.
Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be
in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.
12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening
tub enclosure. Open bathroom door .... put towel wrapped
cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible,
and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the
shredded towel.
13. In about 2 hours .... it will be safe to exit the
bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere
looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.
But he does smell better?????
>^,,^<
>^,,^<
>^,,^<
IMPORTANT
THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT LIFE FROM MY CAT
* Life is hard and then you nap.
* Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
* Variety is the spice of life: One day ignore people, the
next day annoy them and play with them when they're busy.
* When in doubt, cop an attitude.
* Climb your way to the top - that's why the drapes are there.
* Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
* Make your mark in the world - or at least spray in each corner.
* When you go out into the world, always remember, being
placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.
* Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed
tells them, "I care."
If you like my page, or whatever, let me know. Send me
Some of my favorite Links:
Yall come back now, real soon, ya hear?!!
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