CRAZY

Driving with One Headlight out
The Elevator doesn't go to the top
Stick is not on the ice
One sandwitch short of a picnic
One brick short of a load
Five cans short of a six-pack 
Not firing on all cylinders 

He/She's egg is cracked
Crazy as a peach orchard boar
Goofy as a deadfallen jaybird
An olive short of a pizza 
Four quarters short of a dollar

he/she is from the giggle academy
wack-a-doodle
Has a screw loose 
Is Bugged Out 
Should be in the Bughouse 
Mad as a hatter 
Mad as a monkey on a trike 
Lost his/her marbles 

Belongs in the booby hatch
a few cards shy of a full deck
out of his tree 
howling at the moon 
converted to Scientology
Future Guest on the Jerry Springer Show
off his/her rocker 
nuttier than a fruitcake/pecan pie 
has straight jacket in every color 
Welcome to Wackjob City; population: YOU!
daft 
a nutter 
dipping into the squirrel stash 
kook 
bonkers 
quite simply mad darling 
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs 

took a trip around the bend 
toys in the attic 
bats in the belfry 
lights are on but nobody is home 
apeshit
A couple of neurons short of a synapse. 
space cadet 
cracked up 
bent 
Touched
twisted 
spacy 
insane in the membrane... 
Flipped his lid 
Loony Tunes 
nuttier than a shithouse rat
Taco Shy of a Combo Plate
Only One Oar In The Water 
He doesn't have enough brains to tan his own hide
queer (odd) as a football bat 
psychologically challenged 
Flip One’s Wig  
Gone Haywire  
Going Bananas 
One banana short of a bunch 
Off One’s Rocker  

Out Of Hand  
Stark Raving Mad  
Crazy as a bedbug 
Just Batshit Insane
Bats in the attic
bat fuck insane
from the funny farm
out in left field
Some days it’s not worth gnawing through the straps.
I have a grip on reality, just not this particular one.
Don’t let anyone drive you crazy when you know it is walking distance.

REMEMBER People
"Work as if you don’t need the money,
 love as if you’ve never been hurt, 
 dance as if no one’s watching."

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