Differences of the Sexes

When a womean reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes with the individual. Menopause in man provokes a uniform reaction --- he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit a girlfriend for two weeks and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

A man and a women are watching a boxing match on television. On of the fighters is felled by a low blow. The woman says, "Gee, that must of hurt". The man doubles over and actually feels the pain.

Women will sometimes admit to making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.

A women will dress up and put on make-up: to go shopping, water the plants, take out the trash, answer the phone, tell the Jehova's Witnesses to piss off, read a book, and get the mail in. A man will dress up for: A wedding, A funeral.

Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and only dates married women. Richard Gere is also married to Cindy Crawford.

Little girls love to play with toys. When they reach the age of about 12 or 13 they lose interest in everything save those toys that go buzz. Little boys love toys too. This obsession they never lose, their toys just become more expensive, silly, and impractical as they grow older. Examples of men's toys: little minature TVs, pagers, car- phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve coctails on command, video games, and anything that bleeps, blinks and requires at least 6 "D" batteries in order to operate.

A woman asks her boyfriend to water her plants whilst she is on vacation. The boyfriend religously waters the plants everyday following her instructions to the letter. When the woman comes home again, the plants are all dead. No-one ever knows why.

Women love cats. Men _say_ they love cats and kick them when women aren't looking. (Just to let you all know...I LOVE CATS - so much so I have coded one on another mud.)

THIS ONE IS TRUE - ANY WOMEN WHO SAY OTHERWISE ARE EITHER LYING OR LIVING UNDER A CLOUD OF SELF-DELUSION.
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a women says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready just as soon as she has found that other earring, makes one, maybe two, phonecalls, puts on her make-up, checks the kids, feeds the dog, goes back to finish her make-up, takes in the washing, checks the kids again, empties the dishwasher, checks the back door and windows, and checks the kids again.

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