Take the test presented here to determine
if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the
answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give
up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said,
bread, go to Question 2.
2 Say "silk" five times. Now spell
"silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said
"milk," don't Attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed
and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate
literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to
question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red
bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is
made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what
is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from
glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane
is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at
the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .)
Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that
the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing
procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the
plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between
East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors?
East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a
dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors",
proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You
are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London ,
17 people get on the bus; InReading, six people get off the bus and
nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In
Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three
people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off
and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name
of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It
was YOU!!
Now pass this along to all your friends and
pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the
questions!!
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"I am free of all prejudices. I hate
everyone equally."
--W.C.Fields
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"Not only is life a bitch, it has
puppies."
--Adreienne E. Gusoff
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"The imaginary friends I had as a kid
dropped me because their friends
thought I didn't exist."
--Aaron Machado
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All I
Need to Know About Life I Learned from a Cow
1.
Wake up in a happy mooo-d.
2.
Don't cry over spilled milk.
3.
When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no
cholesterol, and no taste!
4.
The grass is green on the other side of the fence.
5.
Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.
6.
Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!
7.
It's better to be seen and not herd.
8.
Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.
9.
Never take any bull from anybody.
10.
Always let them know who's the bossy.
11.
Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.
12.
Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.
13.
Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.
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