From weirdguy@MBnet.MB.CA Sat Nov 2 00:32:34 1996 Date: Fri, 01 Nov 96 23:54:33 PST From: David Kendall To: sfox@lisa.wcat.com Subject: the A! parody SPACE: THE WACKY FRONTEIR Iris opens to a shot of space, with the camers appearing to move closer into the picture. Opening few high notes and instrumental of "Star Trek: The Original Series" plays in the background. YAKKO (Voice Over): Captain's Log, stardate 3.1415927. Fade in to a shot of the bridge of the _Warnerprise_, which is obviously based on the bridge of the _Enterprise_ from "Star Trek: The Original Series". We see Dot at the communications center on the upper left of the screen and Yakko in the Captain's chair. When the shot appears, we see Wakko, upper right, devouring the last of a pie. YAKKO (Voice Over): We continue our search for strange new life ... Camera cuts to a closeup of Yakko, leaning towards the camera, hand to the side of his mouth, as if to tell us a secret. YAKKO (to camera): Which isn't that hard in Burbank. Camera cuts to a shot of the bridge again, in a view that Wakko is just off camera left (ie, the camera is where the science officer would be) YAKKO: Science Officer Brain! Cut to a shot of Pinky and the Brain on top of a humongous (to them at least) panel of buttons and lights. BRAIN: Yes, Captain? Camera back on Yakko YAKKO: Who is that with you? Camera on Pinky and the Brain BRAIN: This is assistant Science Officer Pinky. He is an invaluable resource in my plot to take over the world! Camera cuts to Yakko with a sort-of-stunned look on his face. His eyes blink twice. Camera back on Pinky and the Brain. BRAIN: Besides, the writers couldn't fit him in anywhere else. PINKY: Right-o, Brain! Narf! Camera cuts to Dot. She is seated with a earphone in her ear. DOT: Captain Yakko, we are receiving a signal from an unknown ship that wants to hail us. Camera cuts to shot of bridge taken a few feet in front of Yakko. YAKKO: On screen. We see Dot press a few buttons, then a shocked look comes over eveyone's faces. DOT: Its, its ... WAKKO: Its the omnipotent being, Boo! Camera cuts to Yakko giving a skeptical "Do you believe this?" look. Switches to behind the captain's chair, where we can see the back of Yakko's head and Chicken Boo on the monitor, dressed in a red and black Starfleet uniform from "Star Trek: The Next Generation". CB's head is darting around in jerky motions. Camera cuts to Yakko. YAKKO: @@@@@@@@h, ex-squeeze me, but you're on the wrong show. Camera cuts to monitor. CB: B'gark? Camera cuts to Yakko YAKKO: You want Studio *9*, you know, the one with the bald guy with the English accent. Camera cuts to monitor, which dissolves from CB to a shot of space. Camera back to bridge. YAKKO: Boy, that's what you get when you have last-minute changes to the script. Computer! HELLO NURSE (Voice Over): Yes, Captain? YAKKO & WAKKO: Hellloooooo, computer! YAKKO: Set a course for that planet ahead. Science Officer Brain! BRAIN: Yes, Captain? YAKKO: Is there any intelligent life forms on that planet? BRAIN: (Staring into a slightly raised structure on the panel that emits a blue light) Negative, Captain. YAKKO: Are there any movie script writers on the planet? BRAIN: It appears to be uninhabited. YAKKO: So that means that we should encounter some mean-spirited alien race that doesn't get picked up on sensors shortly after beaming down then? BRAIN: About 2 minutes after beaming down, Captain. YAKKO: That's what I thought. How about that planet next to it? Camera cuts to picture of a purple striped planet with a big neon sign sticking out of it proclaiming: "STARSHIP WARNER-PRISE WELCOME HERE!!" After a few seconds, cut back to the communications center. DOT: But Captain, that looks dangerous! Cut to Science Officers' post. BRAIN: Sensors show that it is inhabited by Klingons. Shot of bridge. YAKKO: Oh, *goody*! A new special friend! Come siblings, we shall say hello to these Klingons. WAKKO: But what if they aren't friendly? YAKKO: Then we'll bring our "secret weapon". [Yakko hits the right side of his chest, even though there's no communicator there.] Ensign Slappy. SLAPPY (Voice Over): Eeeeh, what do ya want? YAKKO: Set your dynamite on stun, and meet us in the transporter room, we're beaming down. Come siblings, we shall boldly go where no Warner has gone before! [They walk to the turbo-lift] To the transporter room! Yakko, Wakko and Dot leave their posts and get into the turbo-lift. Once they are in and the doors close, angle changes so that the camera is at the back of the lift. We see a shot of the bridge from the back, with the Warner's heads in the foreground. As the lift goes down, we see on the next floor Space Mindy chasing her ball, followed by Space Buttons. The next floor shows another shot of the bridge, only with cariactures of the "real" Enterprise crew in their positions. The next floor has Marvin the Martian running by, and the doors open to the transporter room on the floor below that. Slappy is already standing in the transporter area. SLAPPY: Let's hurry it up, here. My bunion's gettin' sore. Yakko and Dot rush to the transporter area, while Wakko takes his place behind the controls. YAKKO: Beam us down, Wakkie! Wakko pulls a lever, and then rushes to the transporter area to get beamed down with the rest of them. We hear the classic sound of beaming down as the Warners and Slappy dissolve from the scene. Cut to a meadow with bushes. We see Dr. Scratchnsniff, Ralph, and J. Thaddius Plotz crouching behind the bushes holding nets. All of them have brown faces and Klingon ridges RALPH: Daaa, how do you know we'll catch them like this, Scratchnsniff? DR. SNS: It'sh called fightink shilly vit shilly. Ve tell dem dat ve vant to make peace. Vunce we have dem convinced, POW! We catch zem with dis net, and ze Warnerprise is ours! PLOTZ: You'll be a hero on Kronos if you catch them, Scratchnsniff! DR. SNS: Shhhh, here zey come now! Camera moves left to a meadow. We hear the transporter effect as the Warners and Slappy appear on the scene. Once he materializes, Yakko gives his head a vigorous shake. YAKKO: Woah, transporting really clears up your sinuses! DOT (in a whisper): Shhh! There they are! (pointing right) The Warners and Slappy tiptoe over to where Ralph, Plotz and Scratchnsniff are are. They crouch behind them and wait. After a few moments, the Klingons turn their heads to see if the Warners are behind them. At the same time the Warners and Slappy turn their heads. This occurs once more. SLAPPY (yelling): Hey, Plotz! Catch! Slappy throws a lit cartoon bomb at Plotz. The Klingons react in typical cartoon surprise and the bomb blows up in their faces. SLAPPY: What a yutz. I've seen better caught colds. YAKKO (hits chest): Computer, beam us up. We view the classic transporter sights and sounds as the four are beamed up. Cut to the bridge. Wakko and Dot are back at their positions. A mime in a red uniform is in front of Wakko performing the "overhead rope pull" and the "mime in a box" routines. Yakko enters from the turbo-lift. YAKKO: @@@@@@@@I don't think we'll hear from those guys again. DOT: Captain, we're being followed by a Klingon ship! YAKKO: It figures. Don't those guys ever learn? Wakko, fire phasers! Camera cuts to in front of Wakko. WAKKO: I can't Captain. Mime switches to pretending to shoot a machine gun. Camera switches back to Captain's chair. YAKKO: Why not? Camera switches to Wakko and mime. WAKKO: They were delicious. Wakko burps. In doing so, a blue laser shoots from his mouth reducing the mime to dust. WAKKO: Excuse me. The mime's eyes, on top of a pile of dust, blink twice. Cut to bridge. YAKKO: Great, *now* what are we going to do? Slappy enters from the rear turbo-lift SLAPPY: Eeeeh, don't get your britches in a knot, Captain, I used this plan once in '38, I think I still got it. Cut to a shot of space. The _Warnerprise_ (a fascimile of the _Enterprise_ with Warner ears protuding form it) is on the left of the screen. We see a Klingon ship (with a large Warner Bros. logo plainly visible on the top) gaining on the _Warnerprise_ Cut to the inside of the Klingon ship. Plotz is in the center, while Scratchnsniff and Ralph work the controls. PLOTZ: That's it! Just a little further and the Warners will be begging to surrender. A whistling sound is heard. PLOTZ: What's that noise? Cut to previous space shot. The whistling continues for a few seconds, until we see an anvil the size of the Klingon vessel appear from above it and flatten it. Cut to Slappy Squirrel on the bridge of the _Warnerprise_ SLAPPY: Now _that's_ comedy! Heh heh! The last four notes of the original series theme is heard as the iris closes to black. ***weirdguy@mbnet.mb.ca***uvr908@freenet.mb.ca*** [Geek Code Version 3.1] GB$/O/PA d- s+:- a24 C++>++++ US-- W+>++ N++ o>++ w+@ !PS !PE PGP-- t+ tv+ b+ DI+>++++ D+ G++>++++ e++ h!>---- r++ !y+>++++ [Animaniacs Code] A! JW22 YK++ir WK++ir DT++i P&B++/++^i HN/+++! MS+ ME+i P0>++ I++ Dpifo Tow2* $++{dva} {Vrjtmfsc} T131 E35 Ee74 H48a PonFeather XSire A24 M [Simpsons Code] S1.2 HOM+ MRG BAR++ ABE+ BUR+ NED+ MOL++ APU++(@) I&S++ f++/+++ n+ Io $ 8F02,7F04 M24 ***Normal is only a setting on your dryer***