From: mneylon@engin.umich.edu (Michael K. Neylon) Subject: FANFIC: Back to the Tower! Date: 25 Oct 1994 01:12:20 GMT An interesting little thing that I thought of the basic plot first, and stuck the rest of it together. Most of the history is based off Episode #65 (the Anniversy episode), so don't blame me if I missed something. :) For the joke impaired, this is an Animaniacs/Back to the Future Crossover, mainly dealing with Wakko, Brain, and Pinky, with a little Yakko,Dot,Slappy,Hello Nurse, and Chicken Boo to boot. All characters are Copyright(C) Warner Brothers. Back to the Future is Copyright (C) Paramount (I believe). This work is Copyright(C) 1994 by Michael K. Neylon. It may be distrubted freely as long as it is distributed in its entirity and without modification. Please send your comments to mneylon@engin.umich.edu ========================================== BACK TO THE TOWER An Animaniacs/Back to the Future Crossover ========================================== Michael K. Neylon, 10/24/94 mneylon@engin.umich.edu ========================================== [Opening Credits: Variable Verse: Pinky and the Brain-y] [Opening, slow zoom to WB water tower. Fade to interier, obviously bigger on the inside than out, with toys galore. Yakko and Dot are riding on the indoor train set, while Wakko on his bed and is trying to read a hamburger and eat a comic book...aaaaaaa... maybe read a comic book and eat a hamburger.] DOT: Come on, Wakko! Come play with us! YAKKO: Yea, come on! We're going to play 'Murder on the Orient Express' next. WAKKO: No thanks. I'm starving [pops the hamburger in his mouth, and grabs another from the tray near by]. YAKKO: Ok, but don't say we didn't tell you so! [the two go off VERY noisely, and make in general lots of noise.] [Wakko starts to put another hamburger in his mouth, but a crash from off-scream stops him. He glares towards his siblings; both are emerging from the smoke and derbis of the train and a block building. Both look at their brother's stare, and smile really *big* smiles. Wakko throws down the hamburger and comic.] WAKKO: That's it! I'm getting out of here. [gets off the bed and stuffs his sack down his shirt.] DOT: Oh, come on, Wakko! We'll play nice...[to audience]...Yeah, right! WAKKO: Don't try to stop me! I'm leaving! [packs a picture of the three Warners in his shirt.] YAKKO: [to Dot] Oh, it's just a phase. He'll be back in a few minutes. WAKKO: Don't come after me! [Opens tower door] Good-bye forever! [Exits, slams door behind himself] [Dot and Yakko stare at each other for a moment] DOT & YAKKO: He'll be back. [wait] YAKKO :I think. [Outside tower. Wakko storms off the WB lot. Ralph notices Wakko trying to leave, and blocks his path.] RALPH: Ahhhh...Mr. Plotz said that you can't leave..ahhh..the lot. WAKKO: Don't get in my way! I'm ticked off! RALPH: Ahhhh...But Mr. Plotz sai.... [At this point, Wakko pulls a *hugh* mallet out, and flattens Ralph to the ground. He then continues his way off the lot. Overhead shot of the pancaked-Ralph, who's trying to move his hand..] RALPH: ...but I think this is an ....ahhh....ex-ception...ahhh. [Fast Pan to ACME Labs, slow zoom to garage. Fade to interor, where a strangely modified Yugo sits. (Imagine putting the Space Shuttle's engines on it) An empty lab cage sits on a nearby. Pinky is on the hood, wiping the windshield down (as best as Pinky can do). We can barely see Brain's feet underneath the car. As we watch, Brain emerges from underneath with a wrench. BRAIN: YES! The last modification are done! My new time machine is ready for travel. PINKY: But, Brain...why a Yugo? BRAIN: Despite it's known structural defects and unreliable performance, a Yugo is the only vehical that can withstand the temporal forces of time travel. [Pinky looks complete dumbfounded and his scratching his head.] BRAIN: It was also the only car a lab mouse could get without no down payment. PINKY: Oh, yeah, that's right! NARF! BRAIN: Yet again, your cranial capacity amazes me, Pinky. Now, help me get the car outside. PINKY: Righty-o, Brain! [Pinky leaps from the hood to inside the car, where an elobrate setup of gears and pulleys are strung over the wheel and pedals. A small control with a single button on it is on the dash. Pinky jumps on this, causing the garage door to open onto the night sky.] PINKY: But why another time machine, Brain? I mean, you destroyed the last one... BRAIN: [furious] No! You wrecked it! You and your stupid peanut butter sandwiches! [Deep sigh, more relaxed] Besides, you're staying behind this time. PINKY: Huh? What you go to do this time? BRAIN: [very sarcastic look toward camera] Fill him in, kids. [Silouttes of kids appear in front of screen] KIDS: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! YEAAAAA! PINKY: Oh, yeah, right. ZOT! [Brain gets into the car, and works at a mouse-sized control panel.] BRAIN: It is very important that you don't screw this attempt up, Pinky. Time is very fragile, and one wrong move may cause catostrophic results in our time line. PINKY: Sure, Brain. BRAIN: I'm going back to Feb. 30, 1929, the day when those annoying Warner simblings were first drawn. I was one of the first mice to make it in animation...[flashback sequence] [In B&W, a much younger Brain is dressed in blue overalls (ala Mickey Mouse (TM), and is at the wheel of an oil tanker, whistling a modified version of the P&tB theme. He then pulls a whistle on the boat, then turns to camera.] Y.BRAIN: You know, this oil tanker can carry up to 400,000 gallons of crude oil across the Atlantic Ocean in less than 4 days. [He then returns to driving and whistling. Another flashback...] BRAIN (v.o.) But then those Warners came along, and ruined *everything*.. [Younger Brain is now walking amoung beakers and vials, pointing to one every so often...] Y.BRAIN: And this off-red solution is a mixture of triphenylbenzene and hexametamethane, and over here is a small sample of trinitrotoulene, and here is....AAAAUUUGGHHH! [Dot is laying on the edge of the table, in front of Brain] DOT: And I'mmmmm cute! YAKKO: [steps into scene] Hiya, Brainy-boy! Y.BRAIN: Don't call me that! YAKKO: Then what should we call you? Harry? DOT: How about 'Marmaduke'? WAKKO: [steps into scene] I was always fond of 'Darren'. Y.BRAIN: NO! Stop it! You're ruining my science experiment. YAKKO: Awwww, is Harry upset? Y.BRAIN: I'm not Harry. My name is Brain. Just Brain. WAKKO: [holds out hand] Hello, Just Brain, my name's Wakko. Y.BRAIN: [jumping up and down] NO NO NO! It's Brain! Brain! DOT: Boy, he sure can get fired up. YAKKO: Nurse, we need something to calm him down. WAKKO: [reaching into his bag] Comin' right up! [pulls out BIG mallet, and aims for Brain.] Y.BRAIN: NOOOO! Watch the trinitro... [mallet comes down, big explosion, with Brain flying out of scene] Y.BRAIN: ...toulene........ [end flashback] BRAIN: After those annoying Warners came, my career was ruined. The studio sold me to the labs, and I've been here ever since. But now is the time of my revenge. I'll go back and insure that those meddling threesome are ever prevent from being put on paper...and I'll still be the top mouse today! PINKY: Well, that's all very nice, Brain, and all, but if you get rid of the Warners, then who'll be the stars of this show? BRAIN: [holds one finger up, then lets jaw drop] Pinky, just help me get the car out. [As they start up the engine, Wakko runs by and hides behind a nearby trashcan, panting. Moments later, Ralph walks by, as if searching for something] BRAIN: Pinky, look! [points to Wakko] PINKY: Yea, it's Wakko, Brain. So what? BRAIN: So what?! SO WHAT?! [patented Evil Look (TM) crosses Brain's face] Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking? PINKY: I think so Brain, but just where do those styroform pellets come from? BRAIN: [about to continue, but Pinky's thought just hit. Rapidly shakes head] No, Pinky. Wakko's known for getting in trouble, right? PINKY: I guess so, Brain. BRAIN: So if I take him into the past just before the Warners were created, he'd probably cause enough trouble to prevent he and his siblings from ever being drawn, leaving me alone and giving me the chance to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! [dramatic chords] PINKY: Well, gee, Brain, that's sounds all fine and dandy, but, um, what about me? BRAIN: Don't worry, Pinky, I have plans for you too. [looks away from Pinky and gives Evil Grim (TM) to audience]. Now, Pinky! You need to get Wakko in the car. I'm going to fuel it up for our take-off. And don't tell him I'm here! [leaves to underneath car] PINKY: Righty-o, Brain! [shouts out of car to Wakko] Hey Wakko, over here! WAKKO: Hey, it's Pinky! [looks around, then races over to the car] Hey, nice Yugo! Where'd you get it? PINKY: Oh, Br...I mean, I bought it. Yea, that's it! I bought it! [looks proud of himself]. WAKKO: On *your* salary? PINKY: Uhhh...yea! Sure! ZOT! [Ralph appears outside, shouting 'Wakko!', but still doesn't seem him.] WAKKO: [nervously] Um, Pinky, were you going to take this for a ride? PINKY: Why, sure, Brain and I were...I mean, *I* was just about to go for a ride. WAKKO: Can I come? I'm in a bit of a hurry. PINKY: Uh...I guess so...although ... [Wakko doesn't let Pinky finish. Instead, he jumps in the car, removes the pulleys and strings, and turns the key in the ignition. The car starts up. View of underneath car, where the Brain is holding a hose to the bottom of the car.] BRAIN: Pinky! What are you doing up there? [Cut to Wakko in drivers seat, Pinky on hood. Wakko has visious look on his face as he pulls the shift. Tires squeal. Pinky looks worried] PINKY: Brain's not going to like this. [Cut to side view of car. Back tires are rev'ing, lots of smoke being generated. Brain is visible under car. Moments later, the car flies out of the garage, leaving Brain laying blackened and flat on the floor.] BRAIN: I believe I just found a fatal flaw in my plan. [Cut to street, where Ralph is still looking. Looks offscreem, does standard double take, and jumps onto nearest lightpole as the Yugo flies by. Close up of Ralph] RALPH: Duh...I hope Mr. Plotz pays me overtime for this. [Cut to Yugo. Pinky and Wakko are plastered on the back window] WAKKO: Are...you...sure...didn't...do...anything...to...the...car...? PINKY: No...not...really....NARF! [Cut to scene of busy intersection, with tons of traffic in one direction. Cut to view of Yugo rapidly approaching the intersection. Bystanders look towards speeding car, pointing and staring. Car gets closer, and closer...Suddenly, light for crossing traffic turns red, allowing the Yugo to fly by unharmed. Cut to inside of car, where Wakko is back at the wheel and Pinky is buckled into the passenger seat.] WAKKO: Phew. That was close. OH NO! PINKY: What, Wakko? WAKKO: Look out the window. [Cut to outside of car, where Pinky sticks his head out. Behind the Yugo is a police-car-like automobile, with Ralph obviously at the wheel.] PINKY: POIK! It's Ralph! [Cut back to inside car] PINKY: What are you going to do? WAKKO: I'll try to lose 'em in the studio. PINKY: The studio? But doesn't Ralph know his way around the studio? WAKKO: Pinky, we're talking about Ralph. PINKY: Oh, yea. ZOT! [Cut to outside WB Studio gates. Yugo approaches, makes super-sharp turn into the studio, breaking the gate. Ralph's car comes by, turns but flies by the enterence. Several moments later, it makes it into the lot Cars fly by the tower and various other sites in the lot. All the time Ralph is catching up.] PINKY: Oh, no! He's right behind us! WAKKO: Hold on! I'll lose him down this stretch. [He accelerates the car.] PINKY: Um...ok... [zoom to Pinky's head; thought balloon] BRAIN: When this car gets over 42 miles per hour, it causes the time circuits to activate, and sends the car back in time... [end thought balloon. Pink's eyes get wide, then looks at dash. Dash shows speed just above 40] PINKY: Um, Wakko...I think there's something you should know... WAKKO: What's that? PINKY: Well, hehe, this isn't just a Yugo...it's a ... [Blinding light fills the car. Cut to outside of car, which is now glowing. Big Special Effect (tm) and the car disappears in a flash of light. Ralph's car comes speeding by, with Ralph looking out the window.] RALPH: Duhh...where'd he go? [Ralph's car zooms off screen, and there is a loud crash. Pan to wrecked vehical, outside a building labeled "Termite Terrace", with Ralph struggling to get out of it.] RALPH: Oh, boy. Mr. Plotz better not take this out of my paycheck. [Commerical break.] [Fade in. View from outside "Termite Terrace", with a small subtitle saying 'Feb. 30,1929'. Shortly, more Special Effects (tm) and the Yugo reappears, and runs into a fireplug outside the studio, causing lots of loud noises. Cut to inside the building. One artist (Lon Borax) is starting the sketch of the Warner's when suddenly, Hello Nurse runs in.] H.NURSE: Quick, there's been an accident! [All get up to go outside. The sketch containing the Warners drops off the drawing board, and lands in the trash. Dramatic chords (TM) Cut to outside of building. Wakko and Pinky are recovering from the wreck, a little smudged and bruised.] PINKY: By golly, Skipper, I was just getting these two coconuts when all of a sudden, NARF! [flops on his back, and is ignored by the others] H.NURSE: Are you all right? WAKKO: [recovering quickly] HELLLOOOOOO NURSE! [leaps into Nurse's arms] H.NURSE: Ewww! [drops Wakko] Do I even know you? WAKKO: [sorta normal] We met in Dr. Scratchnsnif's office, remember? H.NURSE: Dr. Scratchnsnif? You mean that janitor guy over there? [points to much younger Scratchsnsnif (with hair)]. WAKKO: I'm confued. H.NURSE: Here, let me take you to the infirmry, I think you've hit your head. WAKKO: Whatever you say, whatever you say! [follows Nurse off screen, but sorta floating instead of walking] [Meanwhile, a group of European-types, obviously tourists by the large number of cameras, are looking at the wreck] TOURIST 1: [thick slavic accent] Why, look at this car. It is perfect! TOURIST 2: [same] Its cheap, its small, its perfect. Quick, lets take this back to Yugoslavia and develop it! [Group withdraws pads and pencils, and take tons of pictures, making a mob scene about the car. Pinky eventually drags himself out from the mob] PINKY: Wakko?! Wakko?!! Where'd you go? [Just then, a small golf-cart drives by, driven by a studio employee. In the passenger seat is the Younger Brain, in the same outfit of before.] PINKY: Hey, wait! That's Brain! [chases cart] Brain! Oh, Brain! ZOT! BRAIN: [turns to see Pinky chasing cart] What the...Driver, stop the cart. I must see my loyal fans. PINKY: Oh, Brain, I'm so glad to see you. NARF! BRAIN: Do I know you? PINKY: Of course, Brain! I'm Pinky, your buddy, your pal! BRAIN: I'm sorry, but I think I'm missing an important leap of logic here. PINKY: Ah, wait a second. Brain said that we were in a time machine, and if you don't know me... BRAIN: [ecstatic] A TIME MACHINE?! Ah, I mean, a time machine. How drool. Driver, I think I'll walk the rest of the way home. You may go. [Brain and Pinky get off, and the cart drives off] BRAIN: Now, this is very important, ah... PINKY: Pinky! [holds out his hand] ZOT! BRAIN: Ah...Pinky. You must show me this, this 'time machine'. PINKY: Sure thing, Brain! It's right over here. [leads Brain towards wreck] BRAIN: *This* is a time machine? PINKY: That's what you...I mean, what *I* said. BRAIN: Well, then, I must examine it. I will take it back to my private lab and look over it further. Come, ah..Pinky, we need help. PINKY: Righty-o, Brain! NARF! BRAIN: [to audience] Why do I have a bad feeling about this meeting? [Cut to inside of studio, where order has sorta resumed. Lon Borax that had begun work sits back down, looks for the piece of paper which he was working with before, and can't find it. Shrugs, pulls out a new piece of paper, and begins drawing Elmyra and family. Dramatic Chords (tm)] [Cut to Infirmery. Nurse has Wakko on a bed, and is taking his blood pressure. Wakko, on the other hand, only has eyes for Nurse, and can't stop thinking about her] WAKKO: Oh, Nurse, it hurts! NURSE: What hurts? WAKKO: [whiny] On my head. NURSE: Ohh...poor baby [takes off Wakko's hat, and lightly kisses him on the head] WAKKO: And it hurts here [points to his hand] NURSE: [kisses his hand] WAKKO: And here [points to his lips, and makes pukering face] NURSE: Enough of this! I need to listened to your heartrate. [forces Wakko back down on the table. Pulls out a stethoscope, and places it on Wakko's chest. Waits.] WAKKO: I think I'm in love... NURSE: I think not. You've got no pulse. WAKKO: Oh, I know why! [pulls the picture out from his shirt.] [Close up of picture. Same as before, except now it's been de-colorized, except for the noses] WAKKO: Hmm, how strange. Oh, well, back to the checkup...[eyes go love-crossed as Nurse continues her checkup] [Cut to a lab, with the wrecked car. Pinky is on a nearby table dancing to a Popular Jazzy Tune Of The 20's (tm). (Younger) Brain is quickly checking out the car.] BRAIN: This can't be possible. Every aspect of this car is of my own design. In fact, the technology is an application of the basic theories of time travel that I have only recently developed. The same theories that Stephan Hawking will follow once he's born, that is. Pinky, who'd you say made this car? PINKY: [pausing long enough to respond] You did, Brain. Great tunes, NARF! BRAIN: [hushed voice] So it's true. Time travel *is* possible. [to Pinky] Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking? PINKY: What, again? I've already said my witty comment for this episode. BRAIN: Never mind. Quickly, Pinky. I need to fix this vehical so it's fit for travel. Turn off that infernal racket and help me. PINKY: Oh, ok, Brain. ZOT! [Fade to black screen with the words 'Several Hours Later'. Fade back to lab. The car is rebuilt, and Brain is making the final checks.] BRAIN: Now, Pinky, do you understand what I plan to do? PINKY: [from rote (?)] You plan to back to the future, pick up some current technology, and bring it back to the past, so that you can use it to control the world. Yea, yea, sure, sure. BRAIN: You obviously don't understand the importance of this plan. Thanks to my future self, I'll be able to take over the world! And if I check the right books, I can make a bit of money on the side by betting on the outcomes of various sporting events. But that's not important right now. Come, Pinky. Back...to the future! PINKY: Oh, not again. Alright, Brain, here I come...[hops into car, which has a similar setup for the pulleys and string as before. Brain gets in and situates himself in the drivers seat.] BRAIN: Buckle up, because HERE WE GO! [Brain turns on the car, shifts gears, and drives off. View follows the car as it accelerates. Again with the Special Effects (TM), and car disappears.] [Cut to inside of a trailer. Nurse brings Wakko into the trailer.] NURSE: You can stay here until you recover. WAKKO: [love-struck] Ok, Nurse...Ahhhh! [grabs onto Nurse's leg] NURSE: [tries to pry Wakko off] No, no! I've got to go back to work...[finally pries Wakko off, sets him down, and quickly exits] WAKKO: But, Nurse, it still hurts! Oh, well. Let's see what we've got here. [Examines vanity...notices (and eats) various items] Ugh! I wonder where I can find some food around here. Might as well make the best of things. [pulls out picture from shirt]. [Close up of picture. Dot has now complete disappeared.] WAKKO: I have a bad feeling about this. Oh well, I'm hungry. Let's go see what they have at the cafeteria. [Leaves picture on vanity, and leaves the trailer] [Cut to WB Studios, subtitled 'The Present'. The Yugo reappears as before, and quickly comes to a stop. Brain and Pinky get out] BRAIN: The future! I have arrived! YES! PINKY: [worried] Um, Brain,... BRAIN: What is it, Pinky? Can't you let me absorb my moment of triumph? PINKY: But, Brain, this isn't right. There's something wrong with the lot. [Zoom out to see WB Studio in complete disarray and abandoned.] BRAIN: Oh, I see. Yes, this is not the future that you described to me. PINKY: [inspired] Wait a minute! I need to go see Yakko and Dot! BRAIN: What? Who is this 'Yakko' and 'Dot'? PINKY: You don't know the Warners? Wait a minute...[sits down and thinks] BRAIN: [patiently waits] Don't try too hard, Pinky. PINKY: But, Brain, you told me, wait a minute, I mean, you in this time told me that he want to go back, I mean, back to your time, and to try to prevent the creation of the Warners, who were people in this time, before we changed it, that caused your demise from popular cartoon star to lab rat, that is, in the old timeline, and I guess I must have done that, that is, back in the past, because here we are, in this alternater future, and like, everything is different from either of our timelines. ZOT! BRAIN: [jaw drops in disbelieve, long pause] Could you repeat that? PINKY: Sure thing, Brain. You told me, that is,... BRAIN: No! I think I understand! Invarientely, my future self must of made a fatal flaw by sending you back, for now the future has been change, causing the Warner studios to fail. PINKY: [guilty-looking] Well, actually, um,..that is, he was supposed to travel back...it's just that, err, there was this slight incident, and... BRAIN: Enough! Come, Pinky, we must find my alternate self. Only he can help me find the fatal flaw in both our plans. Now, where would we find myself? PINKY: How about at the ACME labs? BRAIN: [shivers at the mention of 'lab'] Ok, Pinky, I'll take your word on it. [Fast zoom pan to ACME labs, which is now labeled 'WB Labs' Fade to interior of labs. Brain and Pinky are walking on a counter outside a row of cages.] BRAIN: A lab. I can't believe I end up in a lab. PINKY: Let's see, now. Was it the second shelf, or the thrid. It's so hard to determine. BRAIN: One moment, Pinky [stops Pinky] I hear a voice. ALTERNATE BRAIN: [voice over to a slow pan to his cage, tiredly] Yes, yes, I'll take over the world... BRAIN: Come, Pinky, I must talk to myself. [starts climbing to the next shelf] PINKY: [shrugs] Whatever you say, Brain. NARF! [Cut to Alternate Brain's cage. A tired and very old-looking Brain is sitting on the floor of the cage, with a board game in front of him] A.BRAIN: Now I'll attack Russia and rule the world! [Brain and Pinky appear over the edge of the shelf] PINKY: Narrrrff. You don't look too well, Brain. BRAIN: Brain! What are you doing? A.BRAIN: [turns to look at the two, then get invigorated, flipping the board over] YOU! YOU! BRAIN: Me? A.BRAIN: You wrecked my plans for world conquest! AHHHHHH! BRAIN: I'm sorry, but I see to be at a lose here. Could you please fill me in? A.BRAIN: AHHH! [stops, pauses] Oh, yes, that would be prudent. You see, I'm your future self. In fact, I remember this same conversation that I had with *my* future self many years ago. Of course, I didn't believe myself either. Anyway, I went back to what is your present, only to find that Warner Brother Studios were in trouble. Lon Borax, one of the best animators, got fired because he was still drawing those stupid "Buddy" cartoons. BRAIN: 'Lon Borax'...that name sounds very familar. A.BRAIN: It is, you fool! He created YOU! BRAIN: [shocked] Horrors! A.BRAIN: Without Lon, 'Brain' cartoons were thrown into repeats, then eventually thrown into the vaults. Without a good cartoon, the studio lost money, then finally had to close its doors in 1938. The owners bought a scientific laboratory, offered me a job there, and you can say 'the rest is history', although it was probably only a few short seconds to you. BRAIN: Your theory seems stable, but how do you know what the proper timeline should be? A.BRAIN: Ah, I got information off our mutual friend, Pinky, here. Hello, there, Pinky! PINKY: Hiddy-ho, Alternate-Timeline Brain! NARF! A.BRAIN: I mean, you know his speech patterns are general incomprehensible, but from what I've learned from him, the current state that this timeline is in should not exist. There was a group of siblings, um, the... PINKY: The Warners! A.BRAIN: Ah, yes. These Warner children. Somehow, their presence, or lack of presnece, affects the true timeline, and all of this [waves arms] should not exist. PINKY: [Dancing about] Bingo! Right on, Brain! BRAIN: [still unbelieving] So what am I supposed to do? I never heard of these Warners until now. A.BRAIN: Well, our best bet, as well as the best for the universe, is to let me come with you and then... BRAIN: [catching on] ...And then find the time distrubance in that period, and then... [Brain and Alternate Brain stare at each other, they're eyes getting wider each second.] BRAIN & A.BRAIN: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?! PINKY: I think so, but are the necessary tools for the construction of a time distrotion sensor available in the 1930's? [surprised. Brain and A.Brain stare at Pinky] Narrrrfff, where'd that come from? A.BRAIN: The timeline must still be changing, causing Pinky here to become intelligent. We must hurry before irrepairable damage is done to the timeline. BRAIN: Yes! Let us prepare! PINKY: Um, Brains, maybe I don't want to fix what's happening with all these timeline-thingies. [Brain takes a nearby pencil and whoops Pinky on the head.] PINKY: [dazed] On the other hand... ZOT! [Fade to Warner Studio of old, Subtitle : '1929'. Wakko is wandering around, and various personalities pass by. At one set (consisting of a construction-type setup), he pauses and looks up at a figure near the top of the steel mesh] WAKKO: [estatic] Babbo! [races towards set] [Cut to top of steel mesh. Young Slappy Squirrel, doning a construction hat, is dusting herself off. Young Slappy Squirrel is in mighty fine shape :)] SLAPPY: Ahh, that Walter. He'll never learn. Ha! Well, back to the dressing room. [An elevator suddenly jumps onto the floor, containing Wakko] WAKKO: Slap.... [stares at Slappy] SLAPPY: Come on, man. I haven't got all day. WAKKO: Slappy...you're...you're thin! SLAPPY: Of course I'm thin. Gotta keep up that girlish figure. Now move aside before I pelt you. WAKKO: But, Slappy, it's me, Wakko. You know... [singing] "She's the crankiest creature in the whole wide world..." SLAPPY: Ah, that fits me to a T. But I never heard it before. Now scram! [pushes past Wakko to get to the elevator] WAKKO: Wait! Don't you have a nephew named Skippy? SLAPPY: Nephew?! My sister's not even out of preschool yet, so how can I have a nephew? [aside] He reminds me of a young Pogo. [back to Wakko] Now get away from me! [gets on elevator, presses button] WAKKO: [jumps back on elevator before it goes down] Wait! I need your help to find somebody. SLAPPY: [sighs] I'm too young for this. But if I help you, will you quit bothering me? WAKKO: Sure! SLAPPY: Fine. Who's this person that you're looking for? WAKKO: Well, I really don't know his name. You see, he drew me and... SLAPPY: Oh, he did, did he? This is too strange. [elevator lands on bottom floor. Slappy storms out] Come back when you've got all your marbles back. WAKKO: [chases after Slappy] But I'm not kidding. He drew me, and my brother and sister. SLAPPY: Look, kid. I'm a busy squirrel. I've got better things than to listen to your chit-chat. [picks up pace to get away from Wakko] WAKKO: Wait! He also drew Buddy! SLAPPY: [stops] Oh, yea, now I know who you're yapping about. Lon Borax, over at Termite Terrace. But you better hurry. I heard he's about to get fired. The execs are getting sick of that Bud-o character, and he was supposed to create a new character, but nothing yet. [leans against a nearby wooden fence]. WAKKO: Thanks, Slappy. Oh, by the way, isn't that Walter Wolf over there? [Cut to Wakko's view. Walter is running down the sidewalk with a large club.] SLAPPY: Oh, that Walter! Watch this, kid. [Walter is about to slam the club on Slappy, but she pushes against the plank that she was leaning on. It tilts out and whacks Walter on the head. Walter's club flys off in mid-air.] WALTER: Ow! Slappy Squirrel, I'll get you one of these...Hey, who's the kid? SLAPPY: Ah, pay no attention to him, Walter. He's just lost. WALTER: Let the kid speak for himself, Slappy! You're always stealing the show. WAKKO: Well, I'd love to stay, but I've gotta run. WALTER: What are you, kid? Chicken? WAKKO: No, this [reached offscreen, pulls Chicken Boo into shot] is a chicken. SLAPPY: [to camera] Oh, that was a long strech. [shoos CB off screen] Scram, you, leave the cameos to us professionals! [looks up] Oh, Walter.... WALTER: What? [Slappy points up, and Walter follows the look...The club lands back on Walter's head, knocking him out] SLAPPY: Now *that's* comedy! Now scram, kid! WAKKO: Thanks again, Slappy! [turns and leaves] SLAPPY: Cute kid. Too bad I've got headaches less annoying than him. [Cut to WB(ACME) Labs : 'The Present'. The two Brains are at a board finalizing plans. Pinky is sitting on a spool of thread, twidling with a mouse-size Rubik's cube. Watchful viewers will notice that Pinky's carninal capacity is approaching Brain's.] PINKY: [finishes the cube] NARF! I've done it! I've done it! Look, Brains, I've done it. BRAIN: Very nice, Pinky. Put it with the others and help us. PINKY: [tosses cube onto a previously unseen pile of solved cubes] Oh, alright. A.BRAIN: Now, let me review the plan. All three of us are to go back to 1929. Brain, you and Pinky will try to help Lon Borax recreate the siblings, while I will try to locate the exact point of time travel. Once we have completed our respective tasks, Pinky and myself will return to the present, hopefully corrected of all time problems. BRAIN: Yes, and by my calculations, we will arrive only 30 minutes after the initial time distortion, thus allowing the proper correction to take place. PINKY: Well, that's all very nice, you two. But what about Wakko? BRAIN and A.BRAIN: What?! BRAIN: You didn't mention anything about one of the siblings actually being in the past! A.BRAIN: This messes up things up completely! PINKY: Well, just wait, let me think... BRAIN: This should take a while. PINKY: ZOT! That's it! All we need to do is to first find Wakko, then have him return with us to this present, and everything will be peachy-keen again. I'd go through all the math with you two, but we don't have much time. [Both Brains shake their heads] A.BRAIN: This will take some time to get used to. BRAIN: Wait! Pinky, you said that we don't have time? What do you mean? PINKY: Um...let's see now...um...well, the way I figure, Wakko's siblings are already being erased from existance as we know it. Wakko himself will soon disappear, and once he is gone, there will be no way to repair the future. So, err, the studios will still close, and you, err, the younger one of you, will still end up in the labs. BRAIN: This *is* a problem. Quick, we must hurry. [All pile into the car. Again with the Special Effects (TM)] [Cut to WB Studios of the past: '1929'. Slow zoom into Termite Terrace building. All's quiet for a moment, then panic ensues: several animators run out of the building, fleeing for their lives. Wakko appears at the doorway, waving the picture of he and his siblings.] WAKKO: I just want to know who Lon Borax is! [Wakko looks at the picture. Both Dot and Yakko are completely gone, and some of the finer details of Wakko are fading.] WAKKO: [*now* worried] Ohhh...I better hurry. [turns and reenters building.] [Inside building. Wakko runs from door to door, peers in each, then slams the door.] WAKKO: Lon?.....Lon?.....Lon? [women's scream], Oh, sorry miss....Lon? [Wakko finally comes down to the last door in the hallway. He opens it. Cut to inside of darkened room, looking at door. Pan across room to a desk lit by a sole light. Lon is sitting at the desk, looking very very tired.] WAKKO: [offscreen] Lon? LON: Eh? Who? Go away, I don't have time to talk. I'm fired in five minutes to create a new character before I'm fired. WAKKO: [offscreen] But Lon, *I'm* you're new character! LON: [turns to look in the direction of the door] You? That style dies out a year ago. Weed wants something *new*. [Cut to door and Wakko. Wakko's figure has now degraded to the sketchy 30s look, and without all the details that we now and love.] WAKKO: ACK! But, but, Lon...You *need* to draw me! LON: Sorry, son. My career comes before any old cartoon. [goes back to drawing furiously] [Wakko pulls out the picture. Only Wakko's head remains.] WAKKO: What am I ever going to do?! [On cue, the wall explodes, the Yugo throwing derbis into the room. The Brains and Pinky climb out. Pinky's head now exceeds (either) Brain's.] PINKY: ZOT! There he is....but he doesn't look too well. BRAIN: He's only minutes from total non-existance! A.BRAIN: Hurry! Where's Lon?! LON: [nervously...three mice driving a car through a wall isn't something you can ignore] Hh...h...here. [Both Brains bound over to Lon, and grab him by the collar] BRAINS: You *must* draw Wakko Warner! LON: Wakko? Who's Wakko? BRAINS: [point to Wakko] Him! [All turn to look at Wakko. Wakko's body is now gone, leaving only a floating head] WAKKO: HELP ME!!!!!! BRAIN: [to Alternate Brain] Lon has nothing to base a drawing on! A.BRAIN: [to Brain] We need to find a representation of him before he completely disappears! Pinky... [Cut to Pinky, who's floating several inches off the ground, and with a golden glow around him] PINKY: [big and echo-y] In the trash can....narrrrrrrrffff! [Both Brains jump straight into the trash.] WAKKO: [down to a floating face] Guys, this isn't very comfortable... [One of the Brains jump out of the trashcan, a paper in hand] A.BRAIN: Success! Quick, Lon, here is your next cartoon! [Lon takes the paper] LON: Hey....HEY! I remember this...I got started with it, and then it just disappeared. This is really cute... BRAIN: DRAW! DON'T TALK! [Lon takes a fresh sheet, and transfers the three siblings to the fresh sheet of paper. As soon as the last touch of red paint is done, there is a flash of light.] [The light fades down, and Lon, Younger Brain, Wakko (now his usually self) and Pinky (also back to his usual self), are laid out on the floor. Wakko recovers first] WAKKO: Hey...[looks down at himself, feels himself] I'm back to normal! Babbo! [pulls out the picture...all three Warners are back as normal] Brain, Pinky! You saved my life! BRAIN: Wha....what happened? Wait! I remember! [gets up, goes to Pinky] Pinky...Pinky? Are the time lines repaired? Has Lon saved his job? PINKY: [sits up, acts as if he has a headache] ZOT!? Why are you asking me, Brain? Why would I know? BRAIN: [to himself] Pinky's intelligence quotient has taken a dramatic turn for the worse...that must be one positive. [looks around] Ah, you must be Wakko Warner. WAKKO: Well, of course I am, Brain. Why doesn't anyone know me around here? BRAIN: [sighs] Did it ever occur to you that you may have been the unwilling victim of a temporal distortion that places your existance in a quantum flux? WAKKO: What? BRAIN: [monotonously] That you went back in time and almost erased yourself? WAKKO: Ohhhhh. That's explains *everything*! Thanks, Brain. [Suddenly, the door to the studio opens, and Weed Memlo enters] WEED: LON!!!! Where are you?! LON: [getting up from the rubble] Weed? Is that you? WEED: Lon! I thought I told you that you better have something better than that Buddy character by now! And what do I see? You've wrecked half the studio, and most of my cartoonists are refusing to return until I tell them that all is normal. [furious] SO WHERE IS MY CARTOON?! LON: [takes the Warners sketch off the desk and shakily hands it to Weed.] H...h...here you go, sir... WEED: [examines the sketch for a second] Why, Lon! These are great! A perfect leap ahead for Warner Brothers animation! Get these three in a cartoon pronto! [notices Brain] Brain?! What are you doing here? You're missing the shooting of another short! One more missed call and I'll sell you to a testing laboratory! BRAIN: [gulp!] WEED: Anyway, Lon. Keep up the good work! [leaves] LON: You saved my job, Brain! How can I ever thank you?! BRAIN: Can I have anything I want? LON: Oh, sure, sure! Anything! BRAIN: [beginnings of Evil Grin (tm)] *Any*thing? LON: Sure. BRAIN: Fine. I want my own science show. PINKY: Um, Brain, I don't thin [Brain covers Pinky's mouth] *umph*! BRAIN: Yes, my own science show. Something to teach the children about the wonders of chemisty, physics, and other science-type things. LON: [shocked] I'll have to check with Weed, Brain... BRAIN: You did say *anything*, didn't you? LON: [sighs] Ok, Brain. Give me a few days. Now, if we're finished, I have a cartoon to finish. BRAIN: Come, Pinky, Wakko. We must return you two to you own time. [Fade to Brain's Lab, where the slightly dented Yugo sits, Wakko and Pinky inside, Brain standing on a bench nearby] BRAIN: Now, you understand what you are two do. WAKKO: I guess so. We drive out of the studio, get the speed up to 42 and return to our own time. BRAIN: And...? PINKY: And, I guess we then destroy the car, right? NARF! BRAIN: Yes. Our little experiment here has shown that time is too fragile to mess with. You must destroy the car and bury the pieces. WAKKO: Well, if that's what you want. I could just eat it. BRAIN: [confused looked] Whatever. Now, I must leave. Knowing of one's future can be very dangerous, so I best make myself scarce before you revile any of my future to me. PINKY: Ok, Brain! ZOT! [Wakko starts the car, puts it into gear, and drives away.] PINKY: [yelling out the window] See you at the Labs, Brain! BRAIN: [to himself] Yes, Pinky, we shall see each other in about 50 years [realization strikes] ...in...the...lab? [turns and cries for a while] Break away, will you! [Cut to origianal ACME Labs, 'Present'. Lights from corner of the screen, with lots of noise.] [Cut to garage, Brain still laying flat on the ground from when the Yugo first pulled out. Seconds pass, Brain looks up, does a double-take before the Yugo runs him over again. Car disappears off screen. Very loud crash, and we see parts flying from the site. Brain struggles to sit up, and looks up. His eyes become very big as a shadow appears over him. Cut to his point of view as we see the Yugo's engine block about to land on Brain.] BRAIN: This is highly improbable...[engine lands, smothering Brain]... [shakily] But anything is possible! PINKY: [bounds in on screen] Brain! Brain! It works! ZOT! Your time machine works....[looks for Brain] Brain? BRAIN: [muffled] Under the engine block, Pinky. PINKY: Well, what are you doing under there, Brain? BRAIN: Contemplating your demise, Pinky. Now help me out. [Pinky struggles for a bit, but eventually gets the block up and gets Brain out] BRAIN: I see you followed my instructions to the letter, Wakko. [looks towards where the wreck was.] [Cut to Brain's view of the car and Wakko. Wakko has overstuffed himself, and it shows as he finishes off a door handle.] WAKKO: Delicious! [Cut back to Brain and Pinky] PINKY: So the time machines destroyed. What are you going to do now? BRAIN: I'm going to study the other greatest scientific secret left in the world...women. PINKY: Naaaarrrffff! Really, Brain? BRAIN: No, not really. I'm going back to the cage and plan for tomorrow night. PINKY: Why, Brain? What are you going to do tomorrow night? BRAIN: [to screen] I'll never learn, will I? [Brain and Pinky walk off, background signers: 'They're Pinky, Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain...'] [Cut to Water Tower, sun beginning to rise behind it. Wakko climbs up to the ledge, opens the door, and goes inside. Cut to from inside the darkened tower, small sliver of light behind Wakko.] WAKKO: Guys? Guys? YAKKO?! DOT?! [Shuts the door, eyeballs only thing visible for a moment, before there is a click and the lights come on. The entire inside of the tower is now decorated as a library. Gone is the train set and the wacky decorations. Replacing them are ornate tables, lab benches, bookshelves, and lots of intellictual stuff. After a slow pan around, a door opposite the door enterance opens, and Yakko and Dot enter, both in lab coats and goggles, with Dot carrying a test tube holder.] DOT: [with a 'highly-intelligent' voice] So test sample #2341 contains the cure for AIDS, #2343 the cure for the common cold, and #2344 the formula for a concentrated peanut butter and jelly sandwich. YAKKO: [same 'intelligent' voice] Ah, Mistress Dot. You've done well. After a quick breakfast, we shall invest the science of time travel. Hopefully, we shall be finished in time for lunch. [noticing Wakko] Ah, brother of mine, where have you been? We really needed your help for the rocket fuel formula. DOT: Yes, we were true deseparate for your knowledge of explosives. WAKKO: But...you...and...but... YAKKO: Come on, dear chap. Spit it out. We haven't got all day. WAKKO: [pauses...shrugs, and then pulls out a pair of goggles] Oh, well. [dons the goggles] Where's the trinitrotoulene?! [Iris out] [Warners run in a park-like area. Suddenly Yakko slows, bringing Dot and Wakko to a slow as well.] YAKKO: It's that time again? DOT: To set our clocks back an hour? WAKKO: To stop and smell the roses? YAKKO: No. It's time for the Wheel of Morality. [Wheel rolls out onto scene] YAKKO: [grabbing wheel and spinning] Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. [Wheel stops on '5']. And the moral today is [grabbing printout and reading] 'Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.' DOT: How profound. WAKKO: I'm still confused. DOT: *I'm* not surprised. [All turn to look offscreen at the blow of a whistle, and do a double take. They run off in the opposite direction as Ralph runs into the scene. He stops in front of the wheel and shakes his hand at the three.] [Closing credits] [Gag Credit: Time Bandit: Katheryn Page] [Tower gag: Standard Pinky and the Brain, with a Pinky 'NARF!'] -- Michael K. Neylon, Graduate Student | Movie: "What is it?" Dept. of ChE, Univ. of Michigan | Crow: "It's a plot device. mneylon@engin.umich.edu | It's flimsy, so be http://www.engin.umich.edu/labs/mel/mneylon/ | careful" - MST3K