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This list, although incomplete, defines the 50 BEST aspects of being of the dominant male persuasion.
(OK, so dominant seems like a bit of a stretch)
Most guys will agree however, that there are a few "perks" we get just for being lucky enough to have been born MEN.
We (men) DO appreciate the "fair" sex, and know it's not easy being a woman. (Most of us do, anyway)
So, in the spirit of good humor and gratitude, I now present for your enjoyment and enlightenment;
The top 50 reasons it's great to be a guy.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can kill your own food.
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Monday Night Football.
- None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
- You dont have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
- If your 34 and single, nobody even notices.
- You can write your name in the snow.
- Everything on your face gets to stay it's original color.
- You dont have to shave below your neck.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
- Bachlor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
- The garage is all yours.
- A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- All your orgasms are real.
- Dry cleaners and hair cutters dont rob you blind.
- Old friends dont give a crap if you've lost or gained weight.
- You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
- Flowers fix everything.
- You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
- Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
- You dont give a rats ass if anyone notices your new haircut.
- You dont care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
- You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
- You can sit with your knees apart no matter what your wearing.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
- Not liking a person doesnt preclude having great sex with them.
- You NEVER have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood.
- If you dont call your buddy when you say you will, he wont tell your other friend you've changed.
- Same work, more pay.
- You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
- You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
- People never glance at your chest when your talking to them.
- You dont have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
- You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
- You can rationalize any behavior with the phrase "F*@k it".
- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
- With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earths population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
Now for the bad news!
Like anything else, there's a down side to this testosterone rich existence! So, under the heading of: "Sometimes life just sucks", I give you:
10 things that SUCK about being a guy:
- You have to take out the garbage.
- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
- No sofas in your restrooms.
- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, your not allowed to cry.
- James Bond movies only come out every two years.
- Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
- You have to wear ties.
- You cant flirt your way out of a jam.
- "Women and children first".
Back to Camp Kidstuff
Above list was condensed/compiled from a like list published in the Jan. issue of Maxim Magazine.
