Dec 27, 1999

MOM'S HOCKEY PUCKS

Nobody truly knows why America is so great
Sure they can reminisce about mom and apply pie and McDonalds
But, in truth, the gentle quality that makes us what we are
Is often almost transparent and lacks definition

Mom was a cleanliness freak. She made no bones about it.
In the kitchen she was constantly aware of germs
So she liked to put cooking thermometers into everything
And made sure the thing read way past nuclear before serving it.

In most places, except for Texas, this would create a problem
For mom's hamburgers took on a special quality
Only mom knew of the secret germs within them
And was determined that her sons would never die that way.

The boys knew full well what these saucer shaped pucks
Ended up looking like on the plates in front of them
After a while they realized they were so dry
They could put them in their pockets in lieu of eating them.

The dog of course got the snacks of his life, after dinner
And the boys happily tossed the brown disks his way
If this were the end of the tale, however
Then a basic truth about America would never be known

One day the dog was off going for a haircut
And the boys bulging pockets couldn't be emptied the usual way
So they trotted off to school with them
Never guessing that a piece of American history was to be made

That day the kids had fitness tests.
The government surprised them all with special challenges
Not the least was that morning snacks would be cancelled
And all the energy they provided would be lost.

I think you can guess what happened
When the high protien snacks they carried
Fulfilled the destiny that mom's love created them for
And the boys finished first with all the calories they posessed

So far beyond a time when historians ask questions
And people wonder what it was that keeps us strong
And republicans still think it was SPAM that won the war
And mom knows so well it was her love that truly won that day.

'Peter'