Misunderstanding about "I love you."
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"I love you."
It is a romantic sentence, isn't it?
Most Japanese hear it in the Hollywood movies. Maybe only in the movies unless they have American friends.
How about in Japanese?
The translation of it is "Watashi wa Anata o Aishite imasu." At least so we are taught in school. But this "Aishite imasu" is not used so often.
First of all, "Aishite imasu" does not seem to be colloquial at all. It sounds to be only in translation of foreign language if used in a conversation. "Suki desu" which is used to translate 'like' is used more often. And "Aishite..." sounds very serious. You can use 'Suki' for 'drinking coffee' but you can't use "Aishite..." unless you become addicted and are a little bit insane, although I don't want to believe caffeine is so dangerous.
But even "suki" is not used as often to show your affection to persons directly as "I love you" is used. It is not a custom to express your love explicitly. Love is to be delivered by your manner or action. When you explicitly express your love, it should be in special occasions, such as when you confess your love to your girl friend. The more you repeat the sentence, the cheaper the sentence becomes.
Once I have been asked "How many times a day do you say 'I love you' to your wife?" "What? Isn't it 'how many times in my life'?" was my response.
"I love you" is used very often. And it is not used only between a couple but also between parents and children. When a child comes back from school and he tells his mother "Mom, I did this at school!", she will surely say "Oh! Great! I love you!" This was surprising and a bit disappointing to me and my wife who only knew "I love you" as "Aishite imasu" and only have seen this sentence in the romantic scenes in the movies. If you say "Aishite..." to your children explicitly (in Japanese), people may be concerned that you are on the verge of the incest.
"I love you" has a much wider range than "Aishite..."
Even between a couple "I love you" has much wider meanings.
The first several "I love you" between a couple must be special. But after that, it is repeated so often that it seems to be transformed into one of the greetings. When we, Japanese, understand this fact, it is easily understood that an American with a Japanese sweatheat complains that she does not say "I love you" as many times as he says it. For her it is too serious sentence to repeat many times. And for him it is a greeting which should be repeated several times a day. So he should amend her misunderstanding of "I love you." After several pasionate exchanges, the meaning of the sentence is now different from what she was taught in school, that is, "Aishite...." And is not the same as in the romantic movie scenes.
Eriko is working as a translator in the US. She once told me that when she saw "Terminator 2," the woman told her son "I love you" on the phone, it was translated as "Aishite...." She thought it was odd as Japanese conversation to her and I agreed.
She also told me that although she knows the difference between "I love you" and "Aishite imasu," she can not use "I love you" as often as her American husband says it to her. She replies to him saying "Me, too."
She feels sorry for him but she agrees that she may be obsessed by the image of "Aishite imasu."
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