A gathering place for losers and mediocrities, where the atmosphere of second-rate coffee vapor, third-rate ideas, and stale cigarette smoke generates an inescapable miasma of low self-esteem,
impenetrable by even the most advanced pharmaceuticals. Café Noir, where every aspect heightens your awareness of the implications of the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Why would anyone venture here? Certainly not by choice.
No - sentient creatures do not seek out Café Noir; nor does it seek them. It is Danté's frightening wood, Alice's rabbithole, Hopkins' Cliffs of Fall, Bob Dylan's Watchtower, Stephen Crane's Open Boat. One is thrust into Café Noir, or stumbles in by accident, expecting something else.
Opinions differ on whether, having entered, it is ever possible to leave. My own observations lead me to believe that it is, although one may have no more control over getting out than one had over getting in. But then, I've been in and out so many times that the question no longer interests me for reasons that will be explained much later. I just want to emphasize that there is a certain amount of DANGER associated with Cafe´ Noir; that the ideas and images contained herein should be approached as Tainted Goods; and that it may not be in the best interest of Anyone to Expose themselves to these ideas and images, much less to accept any of them. Some of these ideas and images are intentionally designed to provoke BAD FEELINGS. If you are already getting BAD FEELINGS, quit now and seek professional help (whatever that means to you). CAFÉ NOIR is NOT THERAPEUTIC, and may aggravate Pre-existing Conditions. If you have a Pre-existing Condition of any kind, quit now and seek professional help. Likewise, if you are easily BORED, avoid BOREDOM by quitting now and seeking professional help.
