Name:: Elisa Borgatti
Email:: eborgatti@afd-inc.com
Date:: Thursday December 28, 2000 19:14:32 GMT
Comments:: Hi! I was born on 4/11/72 in the South Carolina Baptist Hospital in Columbia, SC and adopted through Catholic Charities of Charleston, SC. My birthmother was 19 years old, originally from New York, of Lithuanian heritage, blonde, blue eyes, high school grad. My birthfather was 20 years old, blonde, blue eyes, college student majoring in psychology. EITHER LAST NAME MAY BE PIKE OR PECK. Thanks!

Name:: melanie cohen
Email:: djmikegold@aol.com
Date:: Wednesday December 20, 2000 00:35:38 GMT
Comments:: hi my name is melanie cohen and my sister and i were given up at the ages 3 and 4 we were born at 8404bayparkway,brooklyn,ny and we are lookin for our older sister elizabeth cohen or our mother if anyone nows anything please e mail me at djmikegold@aol.com thank you

Name:: David L Betts
Email:: phxrenegade@qwest.net
Date:: Friday November 24, 2000 09:50:50 GMT
Comments:: Looking for bmom I was born on April 1 1969 older sister born on feb24 1968 recentily talked to her for first time we are looking for you bmom name at that time for all where david lee noble (bfather)june noble(bmom)virginia june noble(DOB 2/24/68)david lee noble jr. 4/1/69 adopted name of david lee betts also have 2 younger half brothers Rex alan/howard lee last know location of bmom was Burlington Ia. me and sister where born in Iowa City Iowa her Bmom last know name was june buckley PLEASE GET AHOLD OF US WE LOVE YOU MOM

Name:: Amy Hooper
Email:: jahooper@loganren.com
Date:: Wednesday November 22, 2000 19:41:08 GMT
Comments:: Iam recently searching for bmom.DOB4-20-70 No regrets whatever the circumstances,I truly understand.Please e-mail with any info.Peace and joy to everyone searching.

Name:: Mary Lou Boggiano-Smith
Email:: bogginva@aol.com
Date:: Friday November 10, 2000 00:14:52 GMT
Comments:: Your paper has validated my life. I gave birth to my son in 1965 and was reunited with him on his 32nd birthday. What a joy he has brought to my life! I no longer feel the tremendous loss that I did for so long.

Name:: Sharon
Email:: darwent@sympatico.ca
Date:: Monday November 06, 2000 19:03:01 GMT
Comments:: I read your paper with much interest...I too am a birth mother in search of my son...I am presently writing about the pregnancy, reliquishment and adoption related issues attached to my experiences...Thirty years later and I am still reeling from it all. I wear it well though and recognize that there are two me's that I must deal with on a regualr basis. Thank you for your insights!
Sharon

Name:: barbara adams
Email:: bca@netwurx.net
Date:: Tuesday October 31, 2000 19:30:26 GMT
Comments:: I am a birthmother who fits the profile of this study. I thought that when I gave my son up at 17 I had done the right thing and would be able to put it behind me but I was very wrong. I am fortunate enought that my son found me almost two years ago now and has been most loving and accepting of me and we are building a relationship together. I am at a poit that I need to make contact with other birthmothers so am writing this now. If there is a way that I might be able to help you or someone you know because of my backgroung please let me know. How is it that we are such a substantial group that is so deep in the shadow of the societal consciousness? Is there some way that I can, by myself or with others help someone out there make a difference in the adoption world's consciousness?

Name:: Sandra Feher
Email:: Sfeher1@excite.com
Date:: Thursday August 24, 2000 12:37:30 GMT
Comments:: I gave my son up for adoption in August 1980. I have just begun my search to see if I can find him. I am hoping that I am sucessful in my search.

Name:: Karen Berklund
Email:: KBEEBABY@AOL.COM
Date:: Sunday July 30, 2000 15:34:17 GMT
Comments:: Dear Judy
CONGRATULATIONS
I read your article about a year ago and it really has helped me deal with all the feelings I buried. I found my daughter June 15, 2000. 30 years to the day her New Family took her home. We are in the process of coming to terms with our new realationship. I do know she will be part of my future, as she was a part of my past. It's so wonderful to know that she always was told "how much I loved her and wanted her to have more....!" I thank her parents for being open with her. It made for an easy reunion. Andrea and my son Greg, hit it off so well, they're making plans to get together again soon.
Thanks for your wonderful words.
Karen B (a Sunflower reunited BMOM)

Name:: Darlene Gerow
Email:: thegerows@juno.com
Date:: Friday July 21, 2000 21:43:17 GMT
Comments:: Thank you for your work. It confirms and validates all the things that I've experienced and learned as a birthmother.

Name:: Eleanor Whitmore
Email:: eleanorw@nctimes.net
Date:: Friday July 14, 2000 04:53:10 GMT
Comments:: Your research tells the sad and tragic truth, further
proven by the fact that most of the guest book entries are
mothers searching. A society that keeps mothers from their
own children needs to be re-taken by its citizens.

I've been a birthmother for 34 years and it's truly living
hell.

Name:: Denise Connelly
Email:: mcdconn@juno.com
Date:: Saturday July 08, 2000 22:09:14 GMT
Comments:: Really touched me.Now I feel I can identify with my birthmother. Was born 7-12-62 in Baltimore, MD.Relinquishment papers signed 9-62.Placed thru Catholic Charities.Baptized St.Charles Borremo.Adoption finalized 11-21-63.Searching for birthfamily.Italian,Irish,German,English heritage.Name at birth Mary Catherine. Any info. mcdconn@juno.com

Name:: Cari Bennett
Email:: Bennrow@hotmail.com, Bennrow@juno.com
Date:: Thursday June 08, 2000 21:53:29 GMT
Comments:: I am a BMom ISO of my daughter. She was born April 11, 1978 at High Plains Baptist Hospital in Amarillo, TX. The doctor's name was Breeden. The Adoption Agency was Catholic Family Service. The counselor's name was Peggy Cooney. If anyone knows of her or you are her, Please contact me. I have always loved you and have had you in my thoughts and prayers for the past 22 years.
Your Loving Mom,
Cari
Bennrow@hotmail.com
Bennrow@juno.com

Name:: anna Butler-Moran
Email:: anna@dreamwarden.freeserve.co.uk
Date:: Tuesday May 30, 2000 18:37:44 GMT
Comments:: What a lovely site........the photo sums up exactly how
bmothers in closed adoption feel like. I wish that open
adoption had been a choice 18 years ago, but it was not to
be. keep the faith and good luck.

your sunflower friend in England

anna
bmother to Neil 22-12-81

{see I will not forget you I have carved you in the palm
of my hand}

Name:: sue
Email:: mikesuehitch@netzero.net
Date:: Monday May 15, 2000 14:25:29 GMT
Comments:: MISSOURI just started to look gave up daughter 11/??/1972 born in north kansas city memorial hospital. ADOPTION THROUGH SS IN LIBERTY MISSOURI.

Name:: Andrea Nellis
Email:: airheads@interlog.com
Date:: Sunday May 14, 2000 20:48:07 GMT
Comments:: Hi! I am a Birthmother living in Ontario, Canada. I am really wanting to add my info to any registration for adoptee's searching for thier birthparents. Any help with addresses or websites would be appreciated. This is the beginning of my search for my Birthdaughter. Thank you.

Name:: MARCELAS
Email:: JYWEL@AOL.COM
Date:: Tuesday May 09, 2000 17:43:08 GMT
Comments:: JUST LOOKING FOR MY BIRTHMOM

Name:: Bonnie Price
Email:: psychladybon@yahoo.com
Date:: Monday May 08, 2000 03:32:43 GMT
Comments:: This was a great source or comfort to my friend who has just begun the experience of being a "birthmother.

Name:: Jackie Perez
Email:: PerezFamily904@aol.com
Date:: Sunday May 07, 2000 13:37:07 GMT
Comments:: I to am a birthmom searching for my birth son.And i dont think the pain ever goes away, and the longing to find that part of me that is gone.My son was born in Pensacola,Florida at University Hospital on July 18,1971 at 4:28pm.his birthname Harold Donald Baker .Iwas 13 years old went i had him.I kept him til he was 2 or 3 months old .My maiden name Jackie Lorraine Brazwell.
Thank You & God Bless
Jackie

Name:: Sherri
Email:: sher@eagnet.com
Date:: Friday May 05, 2000 11:15:43 GMT
Comments:: I am a birthmother in search of my son that was born in Jacksonville, Florida on November 15, 1970 at 11:11pm in St. Vincent's Hospital. His birth weight was 7lbs. 7oz. and at birth he had white blonde hair and blue eyes. He was delivered by c-section and the attending physicians were Dr. Timothy Phelan, Dr. Allgood, and Dr. Schweitz. His adoption was arranged through the Children's Home Society, Buckner Division, Jacksonville, Florida.

Name:: Linda-R-Rocquebrune
Email:: elan33@aol.com
Date:: Thursday May 04, 2000 23:21:37 GMT
Comments:: I was named Jacqueline at birth, 4/27/53, at St Marys Hospital, Montreal, My birthmother is Scottish/Canadian, My father is said to be American and/or Austrailian, If you are my birth-mother or birthrealative I would love to hear from you! Please see my childhood photo and more details at
http://hometown.aol.com/elan33/index.html or email elan33@aol.com Thanks Judy!

Name:: Michelle
Email:: bv-cats@webtv.net
Date:: Saturday April 29, 2000 18:44:55 GMT
Comments:: Am looking for male born Sept. 08 1969 Birthname Geoffery Bafik. State of birth De. Would like to see if you are all I know you can be.

Name:: Michelle
Email:: bv-cats@webtv.net
Date:: Saturday April 29, 2000 18:40:06 GMT
Comments:: It's not everyday I think of you,but you are always in my heart.

Name:: Caroline J Olson
Email:: carolineolson@offutt.af.mil
Date:: Thursday April 27, 2000 08:50:44 GMT
Comments:: I won 123 million dollars and I need to find my original parents to share this with? Please I'm lonely and desperate to have their love once again.
sincerely crying,
CJ

Name:: teri kreitzberg
Email:: btakberg@aol.com
Date:: Friday April 21, 2000 02:25:19 GMT
Comments:: i am a birthmother (1968) and as i read your thesis i saw myself unfold like the pedal on a flower. i gasped, cried, rocked, waled, and sat dumbfounded.....i'm not alone. everything i have felt for 32 yrs has been normal , at least to 6,000,000 females......This is truly an amazing study and so well written. congratulations on your paper and more importantly on your REUNION with your SON.

GOD BLESS YOU JUDY KELLY
thank you for releasing the demons in my heart.

Name:: Jackie Sears
Email:: JackieSear@aol.com
Date:: Friday April 14, 2000 10:56:27 GMT
Comments:: Thanks so much for your brilliant thesis. I relinquished a daughter over 33 years ago and reunited with her for her 33rd. birthday. I have realized since finding her that I did experience an inability to get on with the rest of my life despite the fact that I married and had three children, achieved a postgraduate education and a successful career. I did sign a confidentiality waiver with the adoption agency. When I reunited with my daughter, I learned that she had gone to that agency 7 or 8 years ago to inquire and they told her that they didn't keep very good records in the '60's. I also was given a fake name. I returned to a world lacking in support and understanding. In a nutshell, you have painted me, and I applaud you.

Name:: P. Saint
Email:: psaint@mindspring.com
Date:: Friday April 14, 2000 09:24:13 GMT
Comments:: Searching for son adopted from Sheffield, Colbert County, AL. DOB 07/19/1965. Birth name Charles Allen Saint, adopted name is John. Feel I have depleated all areas. Thanks for your sit.

Name:: Susan Braswell
Email:: sbraswell@tallassee.rms.slb.com
Date:: Thursday April 13, 2000 13:25:51 GMT
Comments:: This is a great site. It made me cry and think of myself, I always thought i was crazy now i know what made me feel like i did, I have always looked in a little girls eyes and know young ladies thinking are you mine.I am in search of my daughter born 2/09/69 at George Washington hospital in D.C. i stayed at the Florence Crittendon home in D.C. I named her Melissa Ann Wiggins and she was adopted in ST. Marys county maryland.

Name:: carol watt
Email:: herringtonfence@msn.com
Date:: Tuesday April 04, 2000 02:05:49 GMT
Comments:: looking for my son adoptived bye brenda issac pedigo in
april 14 1980 please if you have information please contact me was indpla in at wishard or general hosp

Name:: kathryn
Email:: cupidskiss1@hotmail.com
Date:: Saturday April 01, 2000 16:00:33 GMT
Comments:: looking for daughter born feb.7 in jacksonville florida
her name is megan elizebeth last name unknown. i live in michigan, she in florida probly in jax. she has blonde hair and blue eyes. her mothers name is nancy. i just want to talk. if anyone knows any such person please e mail me. thank you.

Email:: langston@paducah.com
Date:: Friday March 31, 2000 19:07:58 GMT
Comments:: Hi Judy,

Thanks for putting your research on line. My site is http://www.evansville.net/~langston It is my belief that when women refused to give up babies the maternity homes and the courts took them and they had no recourse. If you have the time take a look at my research. this system placed children all over the nation. The newspaper articles on this site were copied word for word. Again thanks for sharing your research.

Name:: Kay Bogart
Email:: kayb@vom.com
Date:: Thursday March 02, 2000 19:10:17 GMT
Comments:: I relinquished my daughter in 1967. Thank you for recognizing and expressing the impact that single incident has always had on my life.

Name:: asearchershaven > http://home.infospace.com/ash15
Email:: fourleafclover@visto.com
Date:: Sunday February 27, 2000 23:49:19 GMT
Comments:: a sea full of thank you and tears

ash

Name:: Linda Gould
Email:: eany48@yahoo.com
Date:: Sunday February 20, 2000 10:15:53 GMT
Comments:: Judy,
I haven't read the all of the study, but the small section that I did read brought back so many painfull memories that as I read your guest registry the tears began to flow and I could not stop them. My grown children have known about their oldest sister, but not the pain I feel when I have to remember the horors of giving her up. I have never really sat down with them and shared the pain, in fact I hide my grief, not only from them but myself. It has only been in the last few weeks that I have allowed myself to grieve. Thank you.

Name:: Kevin Marie Shaughnessy
Email:: KST1997@aol.com
Date:: Tuesday February 15, 2000 00:05:57 GMT
Comments:: Wonderful study, Judy. It brought back many sad and difficult memories. My daughter and I have reunited and I am finally a whole person. I spent 26 years of living hell without her. No one understands unless they have been through this. Relinquishing my daughter almost destroyed me as a person. I am going to answer your survey. It is healing to get these feelings out in the open.

Name:: Linda Marshall
Email:: GROUPTVL@aol.com
Date:: Tuesday February 08, 2000 01:24:28 GMT
Comments:: THank-you Judy for helping me come out of the darkness so I may complete this with my son.

Linda

Name:: Deb Howbert
Email:: howbert@wcoil.com
Date:: Monday January 24, 2000 00:33:57 GMT
Comments:: I am happy to say I found my daughter, born 11/14/67
on 8/17/99.

Name:: Radell Weisen
Email:: rweisen@hotmail.com
Date:: Sunday January 23, 2000 02:54:44 GMT
Comments:: I'm a reunited birthmother who spent 43 years in grief for my son, but now I'm joyful and we're making up for our lost time. He was born/relinquished in 1956, reunited 1999.

Name:: Sharyl Brannon
Email:: Mariah678@aol.com
Date:: Tuesday January 18, 2000 02:21:49 GMT
Comments:: I read your thesis several months ago and have returned to read it again. I sobbed through several sections of it feeling the pain that I had buried so deep for so long. I relinquished my daughter on 6/6/70. I held her in my arms for the first time on 6/10/98. I agree with the many others that this thesis should be read by anyone counseling birth mothers. They truly have no idea what a trauma this experience was for us. And I have to admit that until I met my daughter I didn't realize what a trauma the experience was for me. The emotions were like the lava erupting from a volcano after my daughter was found. It was so comforting reading your thesis and realizing that I was not crazy after all. I hope that more studies are done on this subject as birth moms are reuniting at a record rate right now and we need this kind of information to help in the healing process. Peace and blessings to you.

Name:: val jean james sawyer
Email:: valandlorie@prodigy.net
Date:: Sunday January 16, 2000 04:10:55 GMT
Comments:: I have a daughter and a son out there somewhere.They were taken from me in1980
in Dallas Texas.Their names are/were KALENA DAWN SAWYER AND ELDRED LLOYD SAWYER JR..
KALENA has blue eyes blond hair,her age at this time is 23.
SHE WAS BORN IN MARCH.I will leave the date open for her to tell me...
ELDRED has dark brown are maybe black hair. ELDRED was born in APRIL. I will leave the date open also for him to tell me.

Many years have passed and I assure you both that you have a very LOVING AND CARING FAMILY who would love to find you both.
I hope that just maybe you will read this and find me.

KNOW THAT I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU,

VAL JEAN JAMES SAWYER

Name:: Janet Buffington
Email:: kit3314@aol.com
Date:: Tuesday December 14, 1999 18:40:24 GMT
Comments:: I came across your site while looking for info for a friend and time stood still for me. I am now feeling the same pain that I had buried for years with drug and alcohol abuse. (Been clean 19 years). Knowing what is causing the pain does NOTHING to make it any less. I haven't reunited with my daughter, maybe I never will, but our info is available on the Net if she decides to look. Did you survey me without my knowledge? It was SO eerie seeing myself in that survey. Thank you so much for this opportunity to speak about my pain. I feel as though I was tricked out of my child because I was young and naive and had nowhere to go. Florence Crittendon in Wilmington, Delaware had a hell of a racket going there as I imagine all the other unwed mothers' homes did, too. God bless you.

Name:: Andrean
Email:: alarson@tmn.com
Date:: Thursday December 09, 1999 12:37:55 GMT
Comments:: Thank you for posting the results. As a birthmother who is searching (daughter's birth 02/04/71), I see myself in your findings and that my emotional framework is not "crazy." Every symptom I experienced from relinquishing my infant daughter is normal! Society and greed seduced me in to giving up my child, then shoved me out of the way. A hug and then a punch in the nose. I was expected to destroy my soul to fulfill the dreams of others. We were chattel, vessels, production entities. I did put my soul back together with the guidance of an excellant therapist who did some quasi-PTSS work with me and who, when I lamented never having a family, reminded me that I have a daughter. Today I look forward with great joy to meeting her again.

Name:: Michelle Westbrook
Email:: rich1@GCI.com
Date:: Tuesday November 23, 1999 15:49:45 GMT
Comments:: thank you for posting your informative survey results. This is the first site I have visited concerning these issues. I had no idea that there were other women out there who felt the things I do. You presented this information in a way which was neither insultingly sweet nor harshly detached. I think uts great.

Name:: Vicki Unger
Email:: GODSLINE@aol.com
Date:: Tuesday October 26, 1999 23:25:48 GMT
Comments:: I think you have done an absoulty beautiful thesis of birthmothers and I want to say "THANK YOU" for telling our views and your story

Name:: Mara Drew
Email:: maradrew@earthlink.net
Date:: Wednesday October 20, 1999 04:23:42 GMT
Comments:: Hi Judy! I am excited about your site and am sending it to everyone I know.

See you soon- Mara

Name:: Jamie Clark
Email:: starryeyedjc@yahoo.com
Date:: Wednesday October 20, 1999 00:40:41 GMT
Comments:: I am writing a paper for college and this site on the internet
is just wonderful. I praise you for putting together a beautiful
site. This will be a great help for my paper. I will love to hear
from anyone who wants to help me in my crusade for open
adoption rights. Everyone has a right to belong. thank you

Name:: Jean Tierney
Email:: tierneyjf@aol.com
Date:: Sunday October 17, 1999 01:42:58 GMT
Comments:: What a massive undertaking! I have just printed all of it thanks to a sunflower. I can't wait to read it all! My son was born 12-16-64 but I'm sure I fit in with all those bmoms from 1965 to 1972! Thank you so much for sharing this.

Name:: Ilona Brown
Email:: IBrown1569@aol.com
Date:: Saturday October 16, 1999 16:53:02 GMT
Comments:: wow ! did I write this? I am a birthmom of 2 sons . 1962and 1964. I am newly reunited with eldest son ,so far only by email and phone . I took care of him the 5 days i was in the hospital and we bonded . my 2nd. son I only saw at birth and then was taken from the maternity floor.but i am still incomplete. Beautifully done. thanks

Name:: Mary Lou Smith
Email:: bogginva@aol.com
Date:: Saturday October 16, 1999 03:06:48 GMT
Comments:: Thank you for that wonderful paper. It validated my life.

Name:: Penne
Email:: bwgardner@earthlink.net
Date:: Wednesday October 06, 1999 20:16:27 GMT
Comments:: Thank you Judy for doing this work. I've worked with so many therapists who have no idea about the impact relinquishment made on my life. In fact, it was not until my daughter found me, that I did begin to break through the barriers to experience my profound grief and loss. Penne

Name:: jeneugene
Email:: jeneugene@excite.com
Date:: Thursday September 30, 1999 15:13:44 GMT
Comments:: Hi Judy! I finally came to see--it's wonderful.
You have a very comprehensive site.
I appreciate the work you have done. I hope we stay in touch. jen

Name:: Theresa Ann
Email:: clips323@excite.com
Date:: Sunday September 19, 1999 09:10:22 GMT
Comments:: Dear, dear Judy,
Thank you for giving me a new perspective. I am an adoptee born in 1968, my entire life I have wondered if SHE is alright, now I know she may not be. Today is the first day of my personal search and I've been thinking Im not making the right decision, now I know I cant possibly quit. I want her to know the gift of Family she gave to me was the right thing to do. Thank you, Theresa Ann.

Name:: Linda Korrow
Email:: lqk7928@worldnet.att.net
Date:: Friday September 10, 1999 03:08:54 GMT
Comments:: Hi Judy, this is terrific, thanks for the url!
Linda

Name:: Bessie Bearden
Email:: bbearden@airmail.net
Date:: Friday September 10, 1999 01:43:46 GMT
Comments:: What a lovely job so many birth mothers need this.I didn't relinquish a child but i have been searching for my nephew for 3yrs.Today is his birthday,he is 37yrs old.I feel a void even though he isn't my son.And a deep sadness wrapes itself around my heart. My sis was only a child. she had no control over what was being done to her.Or over the fact that her son was torn away from her.How many sad stories are there out there?? They are endless< God only can bring our children home.

Name:: Laura E. Berry (DiNardi)
Email:: cruznut@worldpath.net
Date:: Tuesday September 07, 1999 09:24:17 GMT
Comments:: Stunning, every word so true. Only a birthmother could understand the feelings here. I relinquished in 1970 and found my daughter in 1997. Every member of the triad should read this.

Name:: Karen MacKay
Email:: karenmackay@yahoo.com
Date:: Monday September 06, 1999 13:49:17 GMT
Comments:: My daughter was born in February 1965 and we are so close to being reunited that after 34 years I am finally at peace. It's been a long, long journey. Your thesis shall be shared with all my family in order that they may understand me and what has driven me all my life. Thank you so very, very much.

Name:: Lori Carangelo
Email:: accesspress@earthlink.net
Date:: Sunday August 22, 1999 08:31:26 GMT
Comments:: Thank you for your fine research. I'm a birthmom, reunited with son Tom since 1987.
My books on adoption themes and other topics are at
ACCESS PRESS & AMERICANS FOR OPEN RECORDS (AmFOR), at:
http://home.earthlink.net/~accespress

Name:: Karin Johnson
Email:: karinj@state.mt.us
Date:: Friday August 06, 1999 17:39:05 GMT
Comments:: I am a birth mother who has married the birth father, we now have three children, ages 14, 11 and 9. I would like to see information and research on the impact of subsequent children kept. Mine have gone through some "stuff" after learning of their older relinquished brother. What impact does this have on adoptees too?

Name:: Cathy
Email:: ITSaddictn@aol.com
Date:: Tuesday August 03, 1999 04:34:32 GMT
Comments:: F/adoptee Iso birthmom/family born Easton,MD in Easton Mem.
Hospital. Mom and fostermom both from Denton,MD.Mom had 2 sisters which were seperated from her after there mother died(alcoholism/diabetes)there father gave them up to fostercare being a high ranking military officer at the time of his wifes death.I believe they were all origanially from The New England States,before moving to Maryland.My mom had a son 2-5 yrs older than i. my father was of irish decent and a construction worker. He was married at the time to another woman and had children with her. I dont know if he was even told of my birth. Need med. info badley.

Name:: Patty Steinberger
Email:: pattysteinberger@yahoo.com
Date:: Thursday July 15, 1999 02:49:10 GMT
Comments:: I had a baby girl 03/15/92 in Phoenix, AZ at the St. Joseph's hosp. on McDowell Rd. Because this child will be 18 years old soon, I am trying to leave a trail easily traced incase she tries to locate her birth parents.

Name:: Heather Lowe
Email:: hslowe@yahoo.com
Date:: Tuesday June 15, 1999 17:45:44 GMT
Comments:: Thank you for making your thesis available on the web. It's such
an important, but neglected, area of study. I hope that someone
will undertake similar work on the effects of relinquishment
on us Open Adoption birthmoms

Name:: jacke
Email:: Jac5ke@aol.com
Date:: Saturday June 12, 1999 17:38:03 GMT
Comments:: i think if someone really wants to help children, they should 'adopt' the young mother AND her baby and put them on the road to a successful life TOGETHER. early childhood devel, counseling for the young mother, job skills in an area of interest and aptitude to promote single parenting.

Name:: Marilyn Grubb
Email:: grubb2@telusplanet.net
Date:: Saturday June 05, 1999 20:35:45 GMT
Comments:: Perfect!

My reunion stories at: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/grubb2/index.htm

Name:: s.h.nebel
Email:: gsnebel@aol.com
Date:: Friday May 21, 1999 01:00:14 GMT
Comments:: Dear Judy, have been reading your survey and think it's wonderful. However, all of your comments are from b/mothers from homes with parents. I happen to be from a "dysfunctional" home I spent several years in foster care,
what about us a B/mothers? I was recently reuited with my son, he is 38, he looked for me. (Nov. 97) I gave up my son at age 18 because he deserved a better life!

Name:: Gretchen Long
Email:: Long@vcadmin.colorado.edu
Date:: Tuesday May 18, 1999 14:23:19 GMT
Comments:: Judy thank you so much for your hard work, your commitment, and this thesis. You have expressed the birthmom sentiment eloquently. I am proud to have contributed a small piece towards your research. You have made great strides in educating people to the terrible pain so many of us have suffered. Thank you... thank you.
Gretchen Long
Still in search of Renee 1/26/70

Name:: kimberly vallade (kinkle)
Email:: kvallade@hotmail.com
Date:: Friday May 14, 1999 14:57:29 GMT
Comments:: my brother was given up for adoption around 1973 0r 74 because of birth defects that my parents could no longer care for he was 4 and i was 5 at the time my life long dream is to find the brother i once played and fought with he would now be 30 and hope he still calls himself Little Gary

Name:: Christine Dato
Email:: chrisdato@aol.com
Date:: Thursday May 06, 1999 22:57:20 GMT
Comments:: Judy,
You have made such a difference! Having the privelege of being your "little" sister, I have always looked up to you and this thesis is one more reason why I admire, respect and love you so very much! You are truly brilliant! I was too young to be there for you back in 1967, but know that I feel your happiness now and will always be there for you today and forever! lots of love, Chris

Name:: Carmen Arjona
Email:: carjona@marketfacts.com
Date:: Thursday May 06, 1999 18:37:33 GMT
Comments:: Judy, I don't know what it's like for a birthmother to relinquish her child. I can only imagine the pain and it doesn't even come close to the reality it must be.
I do want to say that my heart goes out to you and all birthmothers out there who did relinquish their child. Everyone who signed this book is right, this information needs to come out so that people can get help for what has happened.
I'm sorry this happened to you, and happy that you found your child. It must have been a great feeling for you. Congratulations.
If there is anything at all that I can do to help you, whatever it is, please let me know. I'd be happy and honored that I can help you.

Lots and lots of love,

Carmen Arjona.

Name:: Susan O'Brien Rodgers, MA ( Goddard '95)
Email:: susanrdgrs@aol.com
Date:: Tuesday May 04, 1999 17:53:42 GMT
Comments:: As an adoptee & author of 'Mending Fences; Burning Bridges" alos the story of relinquishment & birthmothers my Master's thesis, I can't wait to sit down with your project...I wish you peace & recovery. Would love to stay in touch!
Sue

Name:: Dianne Vock
Email:: vogo@together.net
Date:: Tuesday May 04, 1999 03:36:08 GMT
Comments:: Dear Judy: Your work will impact and inspire everyone who reads it...(perhaps even the muses)! I was particularly moved by your own personal story in the postscript and by the responses of others in the guest book. By sharing this study with the world...the experiences, the pain, you have opened the door for other birthmothers to heal. Your courage and compassion are exceptional... qualities which accompany your brilliance, wisdom and unselfish quest for the betterment of all of humanity. I am deeply grateful to be your friend. My love always, Dianne

Name:: Kathy Lewis
Email:: lewikm@uleth.ca
Date:: Monday May 03, 1999 23:24:59 GMT
Comments:: Hi Judy;
I look forward to reading your study. I am presently completing a study which looks at the birth mother experience from a phenomenological perspective.
Kathy Lewis

Name:: Gail Karcher
Email:: Gkteach@aol.com
Date:: Monday May 03, 1999 19:10:09 GMT
Comments:: Looking forward to reading your thesis..I am VERY thankful that someone has finally done this for a project. It is important for birthmothers to realize they are not alone.

The trauma of the situation has impacted my entire adult life. Thank you again..

Name:: Elisa M. Barton
Email:: ElisaMB@aol.com or Menocal@aol.com
Date:: Friday April 30, 1999 16:59:30 GMT
Comments:: Judy, unfortunately, my stupid server was not able to open up most of your writing. I would love to read it. Elisa M. Barton CONFESSIONS OF A LOST MOTHER by ElisaMB@aol.com Available at Barnes & Noble Bookstores; through Tapestry Books 1-800-765-2367; Amazon.com http://www.silcom.com/~manatee/barton_lost.html

Name:: Jean Dulong
Email:: JDulong@aol.com
Date:: Friday April 30, 1999 14:48:57 GMT
Comments:: This is a VERY important piece of work. I think all counselors who work with affected birthmothers should read it. I would also like to see a study of the effect of relinquishment on the maternal birth grandmother.

Name:: Pam Powless
Email:: pampowless@eudoramail.com
Date:: Thursday April 29, 1999 19:38:54 GMT
Comments:: Thank you so much for validating the experiences of so many of us! I am a birthmother who relinquished in 1967, and searched and found. Your work should be required reading for all therapists and social workers!
Also, thank you for making your thesis public online for the world to understand our situations.

Name:: Rosie Haught
Email:: JA-DAN@webtv.net
Date:: Thursday April 29, 1999 15:39:59 GMT
Comments:: I cried the whole time I read your postscript. I remembered my feeligs. Feelings that I am remembering more and more. I have memories now, that I did not have for so many years. Your thoughts, words, research, should be made available to all who need to be educated about this. Thank you!

Name:: Linda
Email:: lydlmama1@aol.com
Date:: Wednesday April 28, 1999 21:35:12 GMT
Comments:: I'm a birthmom of 1968. I received no information on how to keep my child, even though I repeatedly begged to be allowed to keep him. I received no options. I also did not get any requests for his placement. Those that I asked for were ignored. I never received any help adjusting to the relinquishment nor the effects that this extremely traumatic experience would have on my life and that of my subsequent family. I feel the same pain today as I did over 31 years ago. In fact, after finding my son, it intesified. I have suffered severe depression over the years. I was never allowed to mention *IT*. Looking back I find that I am angry at my parents, at the social workers and at the doctors who insisted I give away my own flesh and blood. I may never get over this anger..in fact I know I won't.

Name:: Teri Mennie
Email:: DaBab1@aol.com
Date:: Wednesday April 28, 1999 17:46:09 GMT
Comments:: Well done, I relinquesed in 64 and most of this still applies to me. Unnessecary adoption, forced by my mother.

Name:: Beth Culler
Email:: beth.culler@snet.net
Date:: Wednesday April 28, 1999 00:24:22 GMT
Comments:: Dear Judy, I am really moved by how much your work has touched others. It has been an honor to be your advisor through this process. Beth

Name:: Kathleen Shipley
Email:: irish21450@aol.com
Date:: Wednesday April 28, 1999 00:15:15 GMT
Comments:: I am very proud to have been a part of this research - You have validated what I have tried to tell my family and friends about the experience. I have bookmarked this page and will come back often. Thank you so much for doing this !!!!!

Name:: Kay
Email:: russlc@access.webcombo.net
Date:: Tuesday April 27, 1999 05:15:32 GMT
Comments:: I almost forgot. Please visit my adoption web site at:
<A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/9950/">Ghostdancer's Anti-adoption Pages</A>

Name:: Kay
Email:: russlc@access.webcombo.net
Date:: Tuesday April 27, 1999 05:12:20 GMT
Comments:: I've only just scanned it. It sounds wonderful -- to be heard finally. I just saw my therapist today, and she said that I helped her understand adoption from a mother's point of view. She now has 3 more mothers traumatized by adoption in therapy, and she says that working with me has helped her work with them better. It's extremely important that society learn what adoption does to the mothers of children lost to adoption! Thank you so much Judy.

Name:: Judi Batchelor
Email:: JBatch1945@aol.com
Date:: Monday April 26, 1999 14:33:12 GMT
Comments:: If I had only known that what I was experiencing after surrendering was not abnormal then I might not have thought I was crazy for 29 years. At least I'm not going to die without knowing the sound of my son's voice or what he looked like. This little bit gives me some degree of peace, but it was not enough. I wish all my sister birthmothers this peace.
Judi, Andy's mom

Name:: Lila Swords
Email:: lswords@ibm.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 22:13:04 GMT
Comments:: I love the site and was very interested in the results of the survey.

Name:: Rosalind Maya Lama
Email:: rmlama1@juno.com
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 21:47:44 GMT
Comments:: Judy,

Well done! I am working on a different aspect of the issue and have had great difficulty getting responses. A letter was published
and have had great difficulty getting responses to a letter
published in the CUB Communicator last May and circulated on
the web. Please advise on how to contact the group of
people I am searching for. Any lists would be appreciated.
Unfortunately, the particular situation I am looking into
frequently resulted in deaths. It may be that survivors are
few or extremely marginalized.I will forward the CUB letter
if you send a direct e-mail address.

Thanks.
Rosalind Maya Lama
(831)462 3379
765 Brommer St.
Santa Cruz, CA 95062

Name:: Carol Kisnics
Email:: carol@cnwl.igs.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 21:14:02 GMT
Comments:: Your site is very educational and well put together. I also
am a birthmother and reunited 3 years with my son. I can identify with so much of what you have written. Well written
Carol

Name:: Joy Larkin Pantelis
Email:: Joylark@prodigy.com
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 21:08:29 GMT
Comments:: Thank you for allowing me to participate in your birthmother study. I have printed your paper so I can have a hardcopy to read/reread/share.
I delivered/surrendered my son when I was 17 years old in 1965. I searched for him when he was 24 years old and have been reunited with him since 1990.
Thanks for bringing our experiences out of the closet and to the attention of others. Hugs, Joy

Name:: Beth Houlihan
Email:: BethRN3CAL@AOL.com
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 20:06:36 GMT
Comments:: Dear Judy,
Oh, my gosh!! This is wonderful!! Thank you for your work!! Even though I wasn't part of your study, I feel as though I could have been. The information fits so well. My favorite part is your "Postscript". Again, thank you.
Beth Houlihan

Name:: ELAINE MUNRO
Email:: dgiroux@rougenet.qc.ca
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 19:28:03 GMT
Comments:: I to am a birthmom still looking for my son who will
be 30 this year. He has been found but at this time as I
was told was not ready to make the step. That's is OK, but
I hope one day we do meet because I was fortunate to get
a picture of my baby when he was two days old so even tho'
I did not get to hold him he is still in my heart and my
"flesh and blood."

Name:: Barbara Faith Cuyler
Email:: faithfromfl@webtv.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 16:43:38 GMT
Comments:: Very good. I am a birth mother who gave up her baby girl in 1966. I have been searching for her for years. I am tormented by the fact that she's not with me. I was forced to give her up. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Your work on this subject was most interesting. It was very good!

Name:: Bonnie
Email:: darby@gate-way.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 16:24:48 GMT
Comments:: I am an adoptee searching for bfamily. I am just starting to realize what all of the bmoms went through. Thanks for doing the survey...it is very informative. Bonnie Proud Canadopt member #1269

Name:: theresa, list-owner of floridatriad@onelist.com
Email:: lbuldog@webtv.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 13:53:34 GMT
Comments:: I THINK THIS WS VERY GOOD, YOU ASKED GREAT QUESTIONS, MAYBE IT WILL HELP OTHERS..

Name:: Lia Rodriguez
Email:: Psaffire@aol.com
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 13:45:15 GMT
Comments:: It is a fascinating study and piece to write about. I have seen so little on the subject of birthmothers relinquishing their babies and its affects on our lives. What can it be used for? How many professional people will look at it? I now see there is much more of us out there than I could ever imagine and for a long time I thought I was one in a million this happened to. I hope someday I will see changes that will benefit birthmothers that find themselves in this situation although times have changed since. If only we had more choices back then......

Name:: Suzanne Burns
Email:: samsams@attcanada.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 10:50:38 GMT
Comments:: I as ,a B-mom (member of the Sunflowers) have taken part in this
survey and very pleased with the results and your accomplishments.
Congratulations on your degree and keep up your excellent work
for B-mom's around the world.

Name:: Susan
Email:: Angel5596@aol.com
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 02:30:18 GMT
Comments:: Fabulous paper. I am a reunited bmom. My daughter was born on 6/2/72 and back in my arms 12/28/96. My life has begun to heal again....

Name:: Peggy
Email:: Degal@dol.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 01:54:36 GMT
Comments:: I participated in your study. My son was born in 1965..
I found him when he was 31-
I would have searched for him until the day I died..I had to
know how he was. I grieved for him for 31 years.
and now I have to heal.
Bless you for doing this..
Hugs,
Peggy

Name:: Jean M . Olsommer
Email:: queeny@voicenet.com
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 01:21:20 GMT
Comments:: I one of the moms in the story. I have given up my daughter
in 1968.
come in and sigh my guest book
www.angelfire.com/pa/queenjean/indexhtml

Name:: vivien ann nicoll
Email:: vnicoll@csi.com
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 00:33:41 GMT
Comments:: It was very helpful.

Name:: Vicki Miller aka Vicki M
Email:: miller.v@worldnet.att.net
Date:: Sunday April 25, 1999 00:27:17 GMT
Comments:: Dear Judy , Your work is wonderful. Is there away I could get a copy of this. I would pay for it and the postage. Vicki M

Name:: Norma Samsel
Email:: nsamsel@usit.net
Date:: Saturday April 24, 1999 22:38:40 GMT
Comments:: Judy ... I found your writing mesmerizing. I wanted to be a part of your survey, but my relinquishment occurred in 1962. Your thesis should be required reading for all persons who offer counseling to birthmothers. We have been "in the shadows" way too long. I have been reunited with my birthson since 1983...Only another birthmother KNOWS the trauma, anguish and pain that we have all endured! Thanks for making this available on your webpage.

Name:: Emma Jane Crowley
Email:: Robinsnest@webtv.net
Date:: Saturday April 24, 1999 21:04:43 GMT
Comments:: I find this information on your thesis very true.
I have suffered all my life with depression, anxiety and phobias since being forced by my parents to give up my son for adoption at age 17yrs. (July 22, 1968)
The internet has opened up a line of communication for me to other birthmothers! Open Adoption Records is the only answer to our problems...to let us find our children and they find us. Only then can true healing begin. Having been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 24yrs and am now 48yrs I still suffer greatly and the pain continues to grow like cancer in my soul....................

Name:: Terri Leber
Email:: momfeb1871@aol.com
Date:: Saturday April 24, 1999 20:11:40 GMT
Comments:: Judy thank you for the great work you have done and for sharing it with the world. We will all continue to work hard to make sure the true story of what happened to birthmothers is told by birthmothers. Your great thesis goes a long way towards dispelling the myths perpetuated by the likes of the NCFA and agencies.

Terri Leber
President National Council of Birthmothers
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Congress/5558/

Name:: Victoria Lawson
Email:: zmama53@earthlink.net
Date:: Saturday April 24, 1999 19:52:15 GMT
Comments:: Judy, I read every word - absolutely amazing.
Would that more people could understand what we have been
(and continue to go) through.
Vicki

Name:: Pamela K Roberts (Sarai M.Kendall)
Email:: rnmail@webtv.net
Date:: Saturday April 24, 1999 19:38:13 GMT
Comments:: I wish --that more people like you could get involved that truely understand our pain. For me --I don't know if it will ever end ,even if I find. Thank -you for a true portrait of birthmothers

Name:: Pamela Weber-Hamlin
Email:: L8dflyer@aol.com
Date:: Saturday April 24, 1999 19:04:29 GMT
Comments:: Happy to have been part of this excellent work!