ILLEGALLY SANE

                                                   by

Chapter I

There are times when a man needs to carry a gun. Luckily, my instincts were always right on target as to when those times might be. I guess if they weren’t, I wouldn't around to tell you this unusual tale. Now, if you find this story a little hard to believe, keep one thing in mind. Reality is only a mixture of truth and illusion. It's up to you to chose the blend.

It was a little after seven PM on a drizzly Friday night, when me and my partner cruised into Oak Ridge. It was one of those gloomy nights where the street light bulbs are misted with glow of yellow halos. Our long drive had finally come to end with with me and my partner in one of those sleepless road dazes. We had stopped off to eat an hour earlier, so we decided to take a room at the local motel and crash for the night. We were only couple miles from bother Bob’s house, but If you knew my brother Bob, you'd know why we waited until morning before stopping by to say hello.

After we settled in, I took a hot shower. I guess that brought back to life and I caught my second wind. So I decided to make a local phone call and take care of business. Ten minutes later, I was dressed and on my way out the door. My partner just smiled as slipped beneath the covers, "Hey John. Good luck, man!"

"Yah, thanks."

"Hey! Be careful, huh!"

"Don't sweat it, I'll see you in the morning."

Now all I had to do was locate the local Legion Bar.

I took the car and it didn't take me long to find the place. After all, it was the only building in town with a sputtering blue neon sign. Of course being a small rural town, I knew the bar would be occupied by the usual regulars. You know, the guys who make their living with their hands. Some clean shaven, some with beards, but mostly all good people. So I just walked in like a local and took a seat at the corner of the bar.

The regulars were there alright, swapping lies and sucking suds. Then, each in turn, would take a break and search their soul in the mirror behind the bar. It only took me only a beer or two to edge my way into their banter. It wasn't long after that first name introductions were made.

A joke or two later, the obvious question was asked by the guy sitting next to me.

"What brings you to Oak Ridge, John?"

"Came to look up my brother, Reed. Haven't seen him in five years."

"No kidding. Who's your brother?"

"Bob Moran."

The bar instantly fell silent, but I kind of expected that response. Then a guy named Cody, who seemed to be at the top of the pecking order broke the silence.

"No offense, partner, but are you aware that your brother is a card or two short of a full deck?" I just replied with a grin, "I think you're a little bit mistaken about that, Cody." Then the silence got really loud.

"How so, partner?" 

"Well, Cody, I'd say it's more like all picture cards are missing." I guess that broke the ice and we all started to laugh. So I decided to ask Cody the obvious.

"Just out of curiosity, how did that fact come to your attention?"

"Well, ever since he moved here, he's been digging holes all over his place up there. One day, I just happened to ask him about it."

"What'd he say?"

"He started accusing me of being an FBI agent. Then he started raving on about them digging tunnels under his house so they could spy on him. Just what the hell is his problem anyway?"

"Well, it's a kind of a long story, Cody."

"Well then, get on with it, John. I'd like to hear it." With that, Pat and Reed kind of edged their stools a little closer.

"Well, Cody, you might say that these days, sanity has become an uncommon state of mind. You know, like let's say you're a little guy and you start telling people the government is spying on you. Now most people might think you were legally insane, wouldn't they?"

"Yup, that's a real good possibility, partner."

"Well, now let's say, that you just happened to be right and they are. What would you call it then?"

"Smart, I guess."

"Yeah, you could call it smart, okay. But me, I call it illegally sane. See, it all started a long time ago, back when me and Bob were kids."

"Go on, John."

"Well, back then, we each had our own personal army of toy soldiers. So on rainy days, we'd always fight World War II on the floor in the old man's house. Bob always liked being the Germans. Me, I preferred being the Americans. You see, Bob grew up during War World II. Me, I had just missed it. It had all ended the year before I was born, when Bob was six years old. I guess that had a lot to do with his fascination with the Germans. After all, every kid on the block had a Nazi helmet or flag, compliments of their old man's service. So as the years went by, he kind of ended up becoming a military buff."

"A military buff?"

"Yeah, he loved to read history books, and watch war movies every chance he got. In fact, Victory At Sea became his favorite TV show. He also had a passion to draw too, and maps seemed to be his favorite subjects."

"Maps?"

"Yeah, for some reason he loved to draw maps. So much so, that by the time he was thirteen, he had three notebooks full of them."

"What kind of maps, John?"

"He had everything in those books from the Punic Wars to the Battle of Bulge. In fact, map making was the first merit badge he earned as a Boy Scout."

"He must of done real good in school then, hah?"

"Not really, Cody. He was just an average student, except for history and geography. In fact, when he finally reached high school, they decided he should take a commercial course of study. Seemed the guidance counselor didn't think Bob was bright enough to master a foreign language. Now, in those days, without a foreign language, college was out of the question. So Bob fought with him and eventually got a trial term in Spanish. Four years later he graduated with honors in Spanish and German."

"I guess he was a lot smarter then they thought, huh John?"

"Yeah, you could say that again, Cody. In fact, after graduation he got accepted by a Catholic University as a language major. I guess you could say that's were his troubles really began."

"How so?"

"Well the language he choose was Russian."

"Russian?"

"Yeah, he didn't know it at the time but that decision would really change his life.You see, Cody, back in those days Uncle Sam was looking for former boy scouts with map making merit badges. Being a military buff with a Catholic university education didn't hurt none either. When you added being fluent in German and Russian, Bingo! He was just the guy they were looking for. It didn't take them long to catch up with him either. In fact, it was just after he joined the ROTC in his first year."

"What happened?"

"Well, after his second meeting, a Captain Bennett pulled him aside.

`Bob," he said, The Colonel would like to see you.'

`What about, sir?'

`Just follow me, Bob.'

"They walked into the Colonel's office and after a salute and a smile, the Colonel asked them to be seated. Then he turned to my brother.

`Bob, I've heard good things about you, young man. You seem to have quite a flare for the military.'

`Thank you, sir.'

`Have you ever considered the possibility of a career with the Army, Bob?'

`I have given it some thought, sir, and I haven't ruled it out.'

`Well Bob, we have an opening in the Patton Rifles and I think it would be a good place for you to start.'

`The Patton Rifles, Sir?'

`Yes Bob. The Patton Rifles is an elite cadet unit. It's made up of young men like yourself who are considering the army as a career. It's a lot of extra work of course, and the work is hard. But if you stick it out, you'll have an excellent chance of graduating as a first lieutenant. Are you interested, Bob?'

`Yes sir, I'll give it a shot.'

`Excellent!' Then he turned to Bennett.

`Captain, take care of the details for us will you?'

`Yes sir, right away.'"

"So what happened after that, John?"

"Well, things went real well with the "Rifles," and Bob was pulling A's in Russian too. So everything was going his way. But soon summer recess would begin and then Bob would have to find a job. See Cody, he only had a limited scholarship and money was a constant problem. But luckily, two weeks before recess, the Colonel sent for him again."

`What are your plans for the summer, Bob?'

`Well sir, I'm looking for a job but nothing has turned up yet.'

`Well then, I think I have good news for you. I've got a job I think you'd like.'

`What kind of job, Sir?'

`Well, the job I have in mind involves map making. Do you think you might be interested?'

`Yes, Sir! Very interested!'

`Good, then report back to me, here, on July 18th at nine o'clock sharp.' The colonel made a quick note on his calendar and Bob saluted with a, `Thank you, Sir!'"

"When the 18th rolled around, Bob was seated on a bench, right outside of the colonel's office. At nine sharp, he stood up, straightened his tie, and raise his hand to knock. But before his knuckles reached the door, the colonel opened it.

`Come right in, Bob.'

"When he entered the office, there was a guy standing in the corner next to the flag. He had a crew cut and was wearing a white short sleeved shirt, khaki slacks and a tie. His salt and pepper hair made him out to be in his early 40's. Bob just glanced at him and took a seat. Then the Colonel made the introductions."

`Walt, this is Bob Moran. He's the young man I was telling you about. Bob, this is Mr. Douglas with the Argyle Corporation.'

`Glad to meet you, sir. Is the job here on campus?'

`Yes, Bob, right next door in fact.'

`Well, sir, when can I start?'

`You certainly are anxious aren't you?'

`Yes, sir.'

`Well good. In fact, you can start right now.' "With that, they said their good-byes to the colonel and walked off to the other building. it was a short walk in the July sun and they chatted along the way."

`Where do you live, Bob?'

`I live in Brooklyn with my parents, sir.'

`That must be a heck of a trip for you every day?'

`Well sir, it is. But you get use to it after a while.'

`Bob, you don't have to call me sir. Mr. Douglas would be just fine.'

`Sure, Mr. Douglas.'

Suddenly, Cody had to make a trip to the head. So he called me to halt.

"Hold on till I get back, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, Cody."

While he was gone, I just chit chatted and swapped a joke or two Pat and Reed. Then I paused for awhile, and started to search my own soul in that mirror.