TO:              The Management Team

FROM:         Ronald Blather, Director of Human Resources

SUBJECT:    Cancellation of Programs

It has come to my attention that certain employee programs that the Corporation has initiated in recent years have been greeted with lukewarm receptions, and in two puzzling instances, armed resistance.  A thorough review of our program structure has resulted in the cancellation, effective immediately, of the following programs:

• Employee Assistance Psychic Hotline (ironically, we did not foresee the low level of demand for this service)



• Dress-Up Fridays (cancelled due to unanticipated sharp increases in the cost of formal-wear rental)



• Teach an Inmate to Read OnsiteTutoring Program (the Corporation deeply appreciates the efforts of the co-directors of this program--Agnes Dorpmonger and Marian Hassel--may they rest in peace)



• the retirement program's Internet Stock Fund option (we were deeply shocked to learn that 100 percent of the Fund's assets were invested in the stock of Nakedbabes.com)



• Pet Day Care (we were genuinely surprised to learn that virtually all mammals become carnivores when confined in close quarters)

It is the Corporation's hope that a slimmed-down program structure will enable the Human Resources Department to better focus its energies on meeting its stated mission of "Servicing all members of the Millennium Family with world-class efficiency."    In the near future, I will write to you again in our continuing quest to improve the management of the Corporation's human resources.