Campaign 2000 Headlines

Bush Defense: "I Only Used Classic Coke"

Alexander Quits Campaign; Starts Ragtime Band

In Bid To Soften Image, Giuliani Orders Police To Use Plastic Plungers

Senator Kerrey Backs Bradley Over Gore, Beta Over VHS

Gore: "I Invented The Internet. And On the Seventh Day I Rested"

Quayle: "I Inverted The Intennet"

Bush: "I Invented The Fuzzy Navel"

Dole: "The Hardest Thing I Ever Did: I Invented Viagra"

Bradley Campaign Dribbles On

Bauer Name Recognition Low: Changes Name to Reagan

Perot: "Nobody Told Me There Was An Election In 2000"

Alexander Sets New Wardrobe, Disarmament Policy

Hillary Buys No-Pets NYC Condo; Ultimatum: It's Buddy or Me

Giuliani Says He's Eager To Plunge Into Senate Campaign

Buddhists for Gore Will Lay Low During Campaign