The Tempest-Tossed to Me

By

John Lockwood

 

My ealriest childhood memories are of a rough, blue-collar neighborhood in an older quarter of Yonkers, New York. We were squeezed between Riverdale Avenue and the railroad tracks that coursed along the Hudson. Both avenue and railway were there to ferry people past our poor domain to, or from, New York City. Riverdale Avenue ran into the ritzy section of the Bronx after which the road was named. The railway ran south to  places that carried exotic names such as Spuyten Duyvel (pronounced spy-ten dye-vel) or north past Yonkers Station to Tarrytown, Peekskill and Poughkeepsie. It was a small world. My world was smaller still. As a toddler, it was restricted to our house, the backyard, and the street immediately in front of our modest property.

 

The street was a dangerous place. The kids in the neighborhood were unschooled in that sense of morality expressed in the phrase, “Jeez, leave the little kid alone, why dontcha?”. When I was about four years old, I made the mistake of wandering out onto the sidewalk in front of our house unescorted by my mother. Some kid of ten to twelve years spotted me. It was like a wolf spotting a newborn lamb that had got separated from the fold. Studying me, he removed a Y-shaped device from his pocket, fumbled for something on the ground, and then drew back fully the thick rubber band that had been somehow attached to the Y-shaped object’s uprights. It was a slingshot, and he was carefully and calmly taking aim directly at my face from about ten feet away. I had no idea what he was doing, and watched intently as the lad drew a bead. He let fly. The pebble struck me in the chin just at my lip, slightly to left. It hurt pretty bad, but I was so startled that I didn’t cry at first but instead stood there wondering at what had happened to me. The boy obviously had been looking for me to run away screaming in pain and was somewhat disappointed in my subdued response. He then scrabbled about on the ground looking for another missle and chose a larger one this time. It dawned on me at that point that this kid had done something to me that was none too pleasant and was preparing to do it again,  so I beat a hasty retreat to my house. He shot the larger rock at me as I fled, but I was out of range.

 

Why would a twelve year old kid shoot a tiny four year old in the face with a slingshot? I guess I simply looked like an easy victim. I was nothing to him aside from that. He didn’t hate me. He wasn’t angry at me. He was just your standard urban street punk, doing what street punks did in those days. I saw him a few times after that. Each time he recognized me, smiled, and drew the slingshot from his pocket, displaying it for me. He did not need to prepare to shoot. I played my part by fleeing at a gallop each time. This amused him.

 

There is no moral for this story. The boy was never apprehended for his crime,  never got his comeuppance. He wasn’t around when my father was home, and he was older and bigger than my older brother. So went the earliest year of my recollections. About a year after that incident,  we moved to a far more placid neighborhood in North Yonkers. This was a land of lawn sprinklers and birdbaths, portulacas and hollyhocks, see-saws and swing sets. Here I made new friends and settled in to what would be a largely safe and sane childhood. My scary old world, with its street bullies and lack of rules of safety, receded from my life as though I had left it thousands of miles away, across a great ocean. It was the Old World, I was now safely ensconced in the New.

 

One of the new friends I made was named John, as I was, although I was known to all by my childhood nickname “Toby”. He was referred to formally as John by child and adult alike. His last name was Blumenau. I can’t recall how I met him. He didn’t live on my street, which was at the top of a steep hill. He live the next street down on the southside of the same hill in a house that was newer, but smaller than mine. It may be that my parents, and his, somehow arranged for me to spend time over at his house as he was rarely let out alone.

 

John’s parents – or at least his father – were very strict. His father, in fact, was a royal pain in the neck. John’s entire day was arranged on a schedule. Often, when I was at John’s poring with John over his many books, his father would  appear in the door of John’s bedroom just as John and I were really enjoying ourselves. He would announce “Is time you go! John must study!” And that would be that. John always had to study and I had learned that it was no use to ask Mr. Blumenau for more time – a lesson John had no doubt learned some time before. What was queer about all this was that what we did in John’s bedroom was studying, sort of. We played with books. John had books instead of toys. Many were great books with illustrations of animals, buildings in far-off countries, strange looking people, and so forth. He had encyclopedias. One game we played was for one of us to take an encyclopedia volume down, open it randomly, and  read off the heading to the nearest entry. The other would then have to explain something about the subject. “Lisbon”, I would say, reading from the “L” volume. John would answer “Capital of Portugal”. I would have to read aloud through the passage until what he said was either verified or disproved. Then, we would switch off.  John was ‘way better than me at this game.

 

Mr. Blumenau’s strict oversight of  John’s behavior also  applied when John was allowed to go outside and play games with the rest of the neighborhood kids. At those games, John was not so good.  The neighborhood boys’ idea of playing was to dive headfirst into the woods which still existed in those parts in those days and role around – depending on the weather --  in the mud or the dust. We played war. World War II, to be specific. We fought the Japs and the “Heinies”, always bravely if not always prevailing. My favorite war game was one in which we were wiped out by an overwhelming, superior enemy force. Gallantly, we dropped one by one, fighting to the last bullet for God, Country, Right Reason, and to enable a Suffering Mankind to move forward in future into broad, sunlit uplands. I was particularly good at dying bravely in some fantastically heroic manner, sacrificing myself for my fellow soldiers. With courage above and beyond the call of any conceivable duty,  I would make a solitary foray against the evil Japs. Leaving the relative safety of our fortified position, I broke forward into open, exposed ground with a loud battle cry. Emptying the clip of my fence-post rifle and tossing my last dirt-bomb grenade, I was  soon patched by enemy machine gun fire. Willingly, I died buying precious time for my dear comrades in the wan hope that reinforcements would arrive to save the day. Often, upon my demise, my friends would cheat and find some way to win the battle. They would charge forward, past my mangled corpse, and put the run to the nefarious Japanese “monkeys”. They would then award themselves a unit citation for their incredible valor, while I had to lay there inert and be dead.

 

John couldn’t really play in these games, and he was no good at it anyway. “Pretend” was not in his vocabulary. One of the most important skills in warfare – or our version of it --  was the ability to make a noise imitating gunfire. One could not merely say “bang” or “wham”, that is the stuff of comic books, not real combat.  You needed to invent a trade-mark sound of battle.  My favorite was a sort of snarl that resembled a noise an angry leopard might make – a hint of tearing cloth mixed with a rasping, modulated wheeze.  My friend Ray used a truncated grunt, low and menacing. Bob, who lived across the street from John,  produced a repeated pa-pa-pa which strikes me today as quite realistically resembling the sound of gunfire heard from a distance.  John’s pathetic attempt at a rifle report, however, produced a sound reminiscent of clearing one’s throat prior to asking to be excused to the bathroom. It was so bad that we issued him a dispensation and allowed him to say “pow” when he fired what passed for his rifle. This brings up his problems in securing decent ordnance in the first place. John, like the rest of us, had no toy rifle with which to fight. We all had to create our own weapons out of available sticks and lumber. I had found and fought many battles with a piece of picket fence. It had the very great virtue of having a pointed end resmbling a bayonet. This probably explains my penchant for tilting at enemy machine-gun nests –- a bayonet just lends itself to charging. John’s guns were any old twig he could find. Often his government issue US M1 still had leaves growing on it as he took up his position in our order of battle. His position was invariably far to the rear.

 

It didn’t take long for John  to get himself drummed out of the corps on a section eight. He was not cut out for soldiery.  His parents overdressed him. Often, he went  into battle wearing a spotless white shirt, pressed pants and shined leather shoes. Once, they sent him out to play wearing a bowtie. Jeez, a stinking bowtie! He was not allowed to sullly his tidy clothing.Woe betide him should any of his wardrobe be in less than perfect condition when he returned home, which he often had to do right in mid-battle. He was on a strict schedule, and he was the only kid his age I ever saw who wore a wrist watch.  I don’t even recall if I knew how to tell time in those days, and I’m certain that Ray didn’t know the big hand from the little hand.

 

One day I was sitting in John’s room going over the Wonder Book of Natural History with him when his mother opened the door. His father wasn’t home that day, which was a relief. While John’s father was big, loud, and overbearing, his mother was a small, birdlike woman, pleasant to behold. She was always dressed the way my mother dressed when she went to church on Sunday. She wore lipstick and her blonde hair was tied back of her head in a neat bun. She was pretty. Mrs. Blumenau smiled at me politely and then turned to John and made a bunch of weird but intriguing noises at him. At first I thought that she had gone crazy or something, but then I realized that she was speaking in some foreign language. Like Mr. Blumenau, Mrs. Blumenau spoke English with an accent. As a kid, I just accepted this as idiosyncratic. Insofar as I thought about it all, I guess I realized that at some time in the past they spoke another language and the funny way they talked related to that. But I had never heard anything like these noises that she was making. I had heard the barbers in the shop a few blocks away jabber in Italian every time I got my hair cut. They seemed to have a running argument in Italian that had lasted for years. I always arrived at their tonsorial establishment in the middle of it, and the issue was yet unresolved when I left. That, and the Latin spoken in church, were my only experiences with foreign languages. Latin was formal, holy, and full of mystery. The barbers were just somehow goofy. The Italian they spoke was a bouncy jumble  of silly noises like pachamulaca and bunchagajinga. Now,  here I was in my best friend’s room listening to his mother speaking in a series of incomprehensible syllables – hard, clipped, and nasal. She had to show her teeth to speak this stuff. It was clearly not Italian. It sounded like zatsfreek gashimben and goopnock-sockanow. And then John answered in a set of his own similar blather. This was a shock. John could talk in some other language!

 

When his mother left, I asked him what in the world was it that he and his mother were talking? “German”, he answered indifferently. German! It beggared the imagination. John Blumenau and his mother could talk the language of the bad guys we were always fighting in the wars that raged through our neighborhood each Saturday morning. Holy smoke! It was the first time I had ever heard real, live German. “You mean you’re all from Germany?”, I asked, scarcely able to believe it. “I was born here. My mother and father came from Germany.”, he replied. In response to another question, he said he didn’t know why they came here. He seemed uncomfortable with the conversation. I wanted to learn German. Maybe John could teach me?

 

“I can’t, my father doesn’t want us to speak German, but my mother likes to when my father’s not here. Don’t say anything about it.”

 

 “Well, … why doesn’t he want you guys to speak German?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Something told me to drop the subject. Maybe John just did not want it to become generally known. I knew several kids whose parents spoke accented English. They always seemed embarrassed by their parents. Years after this, for example, when I was walking along with a teen-queen acquaintance named Angela Manzinu. As we walked along, and old man approached us marching forward with the aid of a cane. He stopped and let us approach and then started to jabber in Portuguese to Angela. She answered in Portuguese. Wow! Angie could speak Portuguese! I had not known this and was duly impressed. But Angie was clearly mortified. She turned beet red as she was forced to speak Portuguese in front of me. The old man turned out to be her grandfather. She begged me to tell nobody. Kids hate to be seen as different in any way.

 

Different. Poor old John Blumenau was the neighborhood distributor for “different”. Inevitably, we drifted apart. John, in fact, lost all of his chums in the neighborhood. His father became increasingly difficult to deal with over the years. He was convinced we were stealing  rocks from his  rock garden. He felt we maltreated Johnny. Indeed, John came in for more than his share of teasing because of his odd manner of dress and inability to fit in. The last time I called on John Blumenau was on Hallowe’en sometime in the late 1950’s. We knocked on his front door. John’s father opened the door. Dressed in our costumes, we asked for John. Mr. Blumenau erupted in a  series of loud, bellowed and inarticulate threats which came out  partly in German and partly in English. I guess he did not understand Hallowe’en.  We ran off into the crisp fall night, my friend Ray, running backward, thought to ask “So John’s not going trick-or-treating?”

 

Mr. Blumenau’s offenses, of course, carried their own punishments. As time went on and we got older, we treated Mr. Blumenau pretty badly for being the neighborhood grouch. We did steal rocks from his rock garden. We put trash in his milkbox. We turned his garden hose on when he wasn’t home, flooding his precious flowers – once, we put the hose into a basement window which he had carelessly left open and flooded his basement for him. Johnny Blumenau? We just ignored him altogether and he disappeared from our life.

 

One day, I believe I was about eleven years old, I was heading home from school and passed Mr. Blumenau’s house. He was out in his garden, counting his rocks. “You! Lockvood!” he shouted, “I know vot you do! I giff your fadder a rink!” I had not done anything to Mr. Blumenau. This was just the usual routine with him. Some kid had stolen his newspaper or put dog-doo in his mail box and he was going to call every parent in the neighborhood on the telephone and browbeat them over it. Everyone had come to ignore him. But I was in no mood that day, I guess. I found myself shouting  back at him, “Go back where you came from you stinking Nazi! Go back to Germany! You can’t even talk English right! I bet even the lousy Krauts don’t  want you back!”  Amazingly, instead of going off on a real apoplectic fit, he just stood there staring at me and said nothing.  That got him good. I went home feeling pretty good about myself.

 

The following day was Saturday. That morning my father came up to the finshed attic bedroom I shared with my older brother and woke me up. My brother had already got up and left for somewhere or other. “Mr. Blumenau called last night” said Dad. I started to protest that I hadn’t done anything to Mr. Blumenau and he was just blaming me for some stupid thing because I happened to come along at the moment, and so on. Dad stopped me. “Let me tell you something about Mr. Blumenau”, he said. Dad then went on to say that Mr. Blumenau had led a difficult life. He had his own business in Europe and had been  an important man. Then, bad people came along and took everything away from him because they didn’t like his religion. They chased him out of his country and he had to come here and start over. “I want you to promise never to argue or talk back to Mr. Blumenau again. Can I have your word on that?” My father had never asked me for my word on anything before. I had never even imagined that I had a word to give. This was the first time that my father talked to me as though I were an adult, or at least a future adult. I gave him my word, and kept it.

 

Years later, I saw John for the last time. I was on a bus one morning riding by the public high school, which I did not attend, when I spied Johnny Blumenau heading fearfully onto the high school grounds. He was dressed just like a Middle European youth heading into Gymnasium. He was so dressed no doubt on the orders of his father. He had on a bowtie and wore a beret on his head. Dressed like that going into that school, he might as well have been wearing a sign around his neck saying “Abuse Me”. I had heard that John, as a consequence of his peculiarities, was marked for special treatment by some of the tough kids at the school and that his father was constantly fighting with school officials over the maltreatment of his son. I felt very sad that day as I watched my old friend cross that schoolyard, heading for trouble.

 

I had been fortunate to leave behind the street-bully world I had lived in as a little boy. I could scarcely recall it as a kid, and can scarcely recall it today. But Mr. Blumenau never escaped 1930’s Mittel Europa. His household was to him a Jewish ghetto and our  neighborhood a hostile goyish Germany. He peopled it with imaginary Hitler youth and brownshirts. Then he inflicted it on his son and wife.

 

The last time I saw Mr. Blumenau was when I was in my late twenties and was driving through the old neighborhood. He still lived in that same modest house. He was out in his European style garden, his home now surrounded by European style six-foot hedges. He was counting the rocks in his rock garden. He wore a beret.  I had heard that his wife had died some years before.

 

He looked old, and German, and beaten down by life.

 

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July 4, 2005