If I were a woman

 

I'd have to start thinking about eye shade
       and face powder and lipstick,
    Tampax and high heeled shoes, and then
           I'd have to
instruct my behind to wiggle laterally
 
as I reeled down the street, and
        I guess I'd have to figure out
  how to sit down holding my knees
            together.  Certain
gender-specific occupations would

immediately become available,
        such as being a nun or dental
   hygienist, a housewife (forget it)
            or a prostitute:
I'd love to know how much I could get.

I'd subscribe to Elle and go
       on a lemon yogurt diet, wear
   a peekaboo bra with lots of black lace,
              dye my hair
some seductive color and make love to

other women and sometimes to guys,
       just to see what's what
   on the receiving end.  In the world
           of arts & sports
my role models would be Sigourney Weaver

and Martina Navratilova.  If I were a sister
       it would be great to feel my
   nipples growing hard with excitement,
            and as for
multiple orgasms you can naturally

count me in, but I'd just never be able
        to make up my mind about
   having a baby, and, well, to be
           totally honest,
I know I'd miss my dick a lot.

 



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