Fave - May 1971 (typed by sweet Gale)

Bobby Cries: "Don't Push Me Into Marriage"

I very seldom lose my temper and I guess I'm not mad this time - maybe I'm just angry or hurt or oh, I don't know - but I've really got something I want to tell you and I want you to try and understand.

For a long time now, I've really been misunderstood and I don't know quite what brought this about. I keep looking back over the things I've said to you and the things I've written and I can't figure out where it all started.

What I'm talking about is all the people who are continually hinting and carrying on that I'm married secretly or that I'm engaged or that I'm divorced now but I was married to Patti Carnel - all these things.

And the worst part of it is that the people who start these rumors have one thing they want to do: they want to push me into getting married.

Do you remember the Beatles' hassles with marriage? I do! And now I can understand what they went through. Every month or so, John, Paul, George or Ringo got into the press because someone said he'd gotten married. Thousands of girls became unhappy, the Beatles weren't smiling over the whole thing.

IT UPSETS SOME PEOPLE - What it really boiled down to is that there are a lot of people who feel more "comfortable" with a star who's married. They feel that they know this person a lot better because they know exactly who he loves, who he lives with, all those very personal things.

They get so anxious that a star might be seeing someone they don't know or having fun in places they haven't heard about that they start these rumors and pray they'll become true. Well, I don't want to play the game. I mean it, I'm honest with you, I've always been honest with you and I always will be. There are times in the morning when I wake up and the sun is streaming through the window and I can hear dogs barking and birds singing and maybe a little traffic going by and I'll shut my eyes again and dream about the girl I hope I'll marry someday.

I HAVEN'T MADE MY MIND UP! - But I don't really have any definite picture of her. One day she's a redhead, the next day she's a blonde. Then I'll fall asleep and dream that I've just met a striking brunette. I think that the girl I'll marry will be short and tiny, then I think she'll be tall and slender - maybe even taller than me. I can never decide though, and that's because I haven't met the girl I want to marry yet.

You see, I think that every guy and girl has to get out in the world and really meet people before they settle down. I want to meet a thousand girls and get to know them - but of course, a thousand girls is impossible. I'll settle for knowing ten really well. Unfortunately, I've got a bit of a handicap with meeting girls, and that's because I'm well-known to a lot of people.

That might not seem so difficult to you, I know, because four years ago I didn't realize what success meant either. But now, when I meet a girl I have to know her for months, maybe even a year, before I can really figure out if she likes me or my success. That's not being unfair to any girl. Even she doesn't know whether or not she likes the real me or "Bobby Sherman!"

Now I do the best I can to keep the real me and "Bobby Sherman!" as close as possible! But my whole lifestyle is oriented around the Bobby Sherman that I am today and everyone changes. The girl that I marry will have to know that she'd love the Bobby Sherman that didn't have any money who lived on a remote farm and raised potatoes for a living.

For this reason, I've got to meet girls and be able to get to know them and have them know me before we even think of marriage. And that's why I get so upset when I see or hear that "Bobby's Married," or "Bobby's Getting Married" or things like that.

Can you imagine how your attitude would change towards me or towards a guy you were going with if you suddenly saw head lines that said you were about to get married when really, you'd just met? It takes all the joy and spontaneity out of a relationship if you're afraid to go out in public or you have to field embarrassing questions - and they are embarrassing (put yourself in my place) - whenever you go out.

I'm no different than you - really I'm not. I get worried and embarrassed and upset over the very same things that cause you to feel that way. If anything, I'm more so because I've always got thousands of people looking in at my life.

I've worked very hard for my success and I wouldn't give it up for all the money in the world and if never getting married would keep you happiest, I might even consider that. But I refuse, and I mean this babe. I really REFUSE to jump into a marriage so that anybody will feel "safer" knowing who I'm with and where I live and all that.

Leaping into a marriage could be a very damaging thing both for myself and for a girl - and what if that girl was you? See how it feels?

I CAN WAIT! - I want to be careful and certain about who I marry and I want them to be the same about me. I also want to feel comfortable - not rushed or pushed or forced or anything like that - when I make a decision with a girl that we'll live together and love each other for the rest of our lives.

So the next time you hear someone saying that I'm married or I'm getting married or I have been married, make them double-check their facts. I'll be honest with you, babe, and you be honest with me.

If I'm going to get married, I'll tell you right here on these pages. You'll be the first to know. But that probably won't be this year, or next year either. I want to get to know a girl - maybe even you - before I pop the question.

After all, what we're talking about is very important to me: it's my life...please tell me you understand!