REDNECK HUMOR

SPERM COUNT

A redneck man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
 The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and
 bring me back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the redneck reappeared at the doctor's office and
 gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous
 day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, Doc,
 it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
 Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked
 my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left,
 still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth
 in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing.

We even called up Earleen, the lady next door and she tried too,
 first with both hands, then an arm-pit and she even tried
 squeez'n it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The redneck replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we still
 couldn't get the damn jar open!"