REDNECK HUMOR

REDNECK ENGINEERING EXAM:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that
   will support a 10 lb possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when
   placed on blocks in your front yard?  A) 66 Ford Fairlane,
   B)69 Chevrolet Chevelle, C)64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20
   gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary
   to condense the product?
   For extra credit, calculate the number of pigs and the size of
   the pig farm required for their excretions to disguise the smell
   of the mash and whiskey from the ATF.

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The
   density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per
   acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is
   14 inches. How many Pabst Blue Ribbons will be consumed during the
   cutting and clearing of the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented it R-12 Freon
   simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2X8 pine on 24-inch centers with
   a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length
   is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawed pine. When the
   porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed.

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average
   slope of 15 percent. The man has 5 children. Can each of the
   children place a mobile home on the man's lot?

8. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs
   shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountain side?
   For extra credit, how many of the evolved cows will be "left"
   ridge runners and how many will be "right" ridge runners.