HUMOR IN LETTER'S 

A.S.A.P.
Rescue Mission, Inc.
Kansas City, Mo.


Dear Sir,

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the
cause of temperance. Each year for the past fourteen, I have made
a tour of Florida and Southern Alabama including Indiana, Iowa
and Illinois and have delivered a series of lectures on the evils
of drinking. On this tour I have been accompanied by my young
friend and assistant, Clyde Lindstrom. Clyde, a young man of good
family and excellent background, is a pathetic example of life
ruined by excessive indulgence in beer and women.

Clyde would appear with me at lectures and sit on the platform
wheezing and staring at the audience through blurry, bloodshot
eyes, sweating profusely, and picking his nose, passing gas 
and making obscene gestures while I would point out as an example
of what overindulgence can do to a person.

This fall, unfortunately, Clyde died. A mutual friend has given
me your name, and I wonder if you would be available to take
Clyde's place on my 2006 tour?


Yours sincerely and in faith,


Brother Al
A.S.A.P. Rescue Mission