ETHNIC HUMOR

JEWISH PERSONALS

Actual personal ads which appeared in Israeli newspapers:

1. Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan. Write, POB74

2. Yshiva bohur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in 
woman. POB345

3. Desperately seeking schmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires
female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krchtzing.
Under 30 is OK. POB64

4. Attractive Jewish woman, 35+ college graduate, seeks successful
Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house. POB45

5. Divorced Jewish man seeks partner to attend shul with, light 
Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, 
attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB658

6. Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons, No baggage. No personality. POB78

7. Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made.
Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB53

8. Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try
it for eight days. Who knows? POB43

9. Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind.
Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB555

10. Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, chanukah 
candles, havdalah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB787

11. I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to.
Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. 
I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB86