ETHNIC HUMOR

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE POLOCK WHO...

1. Spent 4 days in Sears looking for wheels for a miscarriage?
2. Took his pregnant wife to the grocery store because they had 
free delivery?
3. Looked in the lumberyard for the draft board?
4. Took a roll of toilet paper to a crap game?
5. Put iodine on his paycheck because he got a cut in his salary?
6. Was so lazy, he married a pregnant woman?
7. Was feeling so low he got his face slapped?
8. Lost his girlfriend cause he couldn't remember where he laid her?
9. Thought asphalt was a rectum trouble?
10. Called his girlfriend tapioca cause she could be made in a minute?
11. Though his typewriter was pregnant cause it missed a period?
12. Wore a union suit cause his wife was in labor?
13. Thought "No Kidding" meant birth control?
14. Thought Peter Pan was something you put under the bed?
15. Thought a sanitary belt was a drink from a clean glass?
16. Thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
17. Thought a mushroom was a place to neck?
18. Married a colored woman so his kids could have chocolate milk?
19. Wouldn't go out with his wife cause he heard she was married?
20. Bought a set of snow tires and they melted before he got home?
21. Bought a set of water skis but couldn't find a lake with a hill on it?
22. Dropped his gum in a chicken coup and thought he found it five times?
23. Heard Christ wasn't born in Poland cause God couldn't find 3 wise men 
or a virgin there?
24. Thought a cockfight was between 2 lesbians?
25. Couldn't play golf cause he didn't know his ass from a hole in the 
ground?
26. Was told by his doctor that he had sugar in his urine, so the next 
morning he peed on his Wheaties?


DID YOU KNOW...



1. How do you get three Pollocks off a couch? Jerk one off and the
other two come.

2. What do you call a pimple on a Pollacks ass? Brain Tumor.

3. Why do they paint the garbage cans orange in Poland?So the Pollocks 
think they're eating at Howard Johnson's.

4. How do you ruin a Polish party? Flush the punchbowl.

5. Did you hear about the Polish abortion clinic? It has a year-long 
waiting list.

6. Did you hear how the Polish hockey team drowned? Spring training.

7. How do you break a Pole's fingers? Hit him in the nose.

8. Did you hear about the Pole that lost $50 on the football game?
$25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.

9. What do you call a Pole with 1,500 girlfriends? A shepherd.

10. What happens when a Pole doesn't pay his garbage bill? They stop 
delivering.

11. What did the Pollock do before going to the cockfight? Greased his zipper.

12. Why do they play on artificial turf in Poland? To keep the cheerleaders 
from grazing at halftime.

13. Why don't Pollocks eat M&M's? They have a hard time peeling them.

14. What's the most useless thing on a Polish woman's body? A Polish man.

15. Did you hear about the Polish lesbian? She loved men.

16. Why don't they use the 911 emergency number in Poland? The Pollocks can't 
find 11 on their phones.


DID YOU KNOW...(Italian)



17. Why did the Italian staple his nuts together? Since he couldn't 
lick'em he felt he should join them.

18. How do you get an Italian woman pregnant? Come on her shoes and 
let the flies do the rest.

19. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their garbage away in clear plastic bags?
So Italians can go window shopping.

20. What's an innuendo? An Italian suppository.

21. Did you hear about the Italian who picked his nose apart? He wanted
to see what made it run.

22. How do you kill an Italian? Smash the toilet seat down on his head 
while he's getting a drink.

23. What's the definition of a "maniac"? An Italian in a whorehouse
with a credit card.

24. How do you make an Italian? Put a nigger in one hand and a Jew in 
the other and slam them together.

25. What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Italian? A guy 
who makes an offer you can't understand.

26. What does an Italian do when he finished sucking a cock? He 
spits out the feathers.

27. Why do Italian women have more trouble with hemorrhoids than
me? Because God made Italian men the perfect asshole.

28. Why do Italian men have mustaches? So they can look like their
mothers.

29. Did you hear about the Italian who couldn't spell? He spent
the night in a warehouse.